Haughty Helen Sets the Record Straight
Haughty Helen has written to inform us quite politely that regarding her Checkered future she personally prefers the Big Buford, not the Steakhouse Burger as we implied. Now if that doesn’t mean anything to you obviously you haven’t been to the Checkered/Rally Burger joints around here so you be the judge, here are the two burgers.
Steakhouse Double Cheddarburger
The Steakhouse Burger is a Double Cheddarburger complemented with A.1. Steak Sauce, bacon, lettuce, pickles and onions on a toasted sesame bun.
Big Buford (Haughty Helen’s fav)
This signature burger is two juicy, all-beef patties and two slices of American cheese on a toasted bun. It’s loaded with mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, onions, crisp lettuce, tomatoes and mustard.
Upset but silent
Some CPT readers, or former readers, have been reported as upset with some of the rather endearing descriptions of the local characters in the Times. We try very hard to be as irreverent as possible and make no claims that we can portray people accurately when it comes to the degree of dumbness, corniness, oddness, ordinariness or any other characteristic as the Pointers are in a league of their own. Our hope is that a sense of humor and appreciation of literary satire will allow people to enjoy the Times. Get your serious stuff from the self-proclaimed media gurus, religious fanatics, and others getting paid big bucks to brainwash an unsuspecting public.
In Search of the Mysterious Ink Spots
Inky has challenged the Times to discover the secret places she goes to during her extended walks around the Point so we are asking the help of readers to identify the mysterious Ink Spots frequented by Inky.
Local celebrity Update
A hearty holiday welcome home goes to a couple of hearty babes from the Point as recently Nancy by the Beach got a pacemaker and Hotrod Hammett got herself a triple bypass. Hospitals sent them home in record time as they were driving the staff crazy.
John Wilkes Booth Sightings
We are updating our burgeoning file with reported sightings of the ghost of John Wilkes Booth walking the highways and byways of the Point. Seems Dogman might not be the only one to witness the chilling apparition. If you have information on the whereabouts of the Ghost of John Wilkes Booth or have experienced sightings in the fog let us know. A full blown tourist promotional campaign is being planned for the spring by the Diner gang.