Letters to the Editor

Notice: Comments can now be submitted without any log in requirements in order to protect the identity of the culprit. Sheila and Susan, please note the note.

Dear Editor:
This is the stupidest newspaper I ever read. What makes you think anything in this rag is important to anyone else?
Signed,
Better Than You

Dear Better Than You:
It takes a finely tuned degree of stupidity to discover the stupidity in life. Be thankful for the blessings in life you received that allow you to get your miserable perspective out of the way early.
Editor

Dear Editor:
Sometimes I think you are too negative toward the government, the media and our American lifestyle. Can’t you find some good in everything?
Signed,
Hopeful

Dear Hopeful:
Could you please send me a pair of the rose colored glasses you wear. We must be seeing different pictures. What kind of medication do they have you on? People like you belong in Congress where we need a perspective that sees good in all wrong.
Editor

Dear Editor:
Why do you pick on some of the wonderful people of Coltons Point? They all sound like such beautiful neighbors to have. Especially Hillbilly Joe, one of my favorites to read about
Signed,
Concerned

Dear Concerned:
Must be tough being Hillbilly’s mother. You give birth to the little rascal. You raise him like any hill folk would. You try to protect him from the dangers of life and society. And now you write letters to the editor to keep his reputation from being sullied. Isn’t it time to get a new project? At 40-something Hillbilly seems entirely capable of fending for hisself.
Editor

Dear Editor:
I just think it is a shame you are so disparaging about the cute Lighthouse in Coltons Point! You should be tarred and feathered.
Signed,
Disgusted

Dear Disgusted:
Well the Lighthouse is gone like I reported. In the ensuing darkness the sea gulls and fish are helplessly crashing into the piers and rocks. For all we know with the lights out some oil tanker named Valdez II may crash into the jagged jettys of the Point engulfing all wildlife in a sticky, tarry mess. I figure if I wait for that to happen, then jump into the water, I can fulfill your wish and be tarred and feathered with minimum effort. Are your lights out too?
Editor

Dear Editor:
Does Coltons Point really need you and the Coltons Point Times. We were doing so well without you.
Signed,
Society to Clean Up the Point

Dear Pointed Society:
Of course Coltons Point needs us in order to achieve its proper place in history. Someone must push the story to the unsuspecting masses. I mean Caesar had his Mark Anthony. Sampson had Delilah. Goliath had David. Batman had the Joker. Dorothy had the Evil Witch of the East. Just think of us as an inspiration for hypothetical greatness, a chronicler of legends, a maker of myth, a founder of fable, and all the other roles television news and the “free press” contributes to our information starved society. Or just move away.
Editor