Thursday, April 20, 2017

A Little Steven Wright to make my Brother Bob Laugh

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20 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes

Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo╩╗ole
(Double click for full screen)

Steven will be 62 this coming December.


Don't get too excited, but today is the deadpan comedian's unofficial birthday. To celebrate, here are 20 of his funniest jokes.
1. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
2. "I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman."
3. "I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him."
4. "Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee."

5. "Woke up this morning and folded my bed back into a couch. Almost broke both my arms cause it’s not that kind of bed."
6. "I’m going to get a tattoo over my whole body of me but taller."
7. "I went to a tourist information booth and said 'Tell me about some people who were here last year.'"
8. "I’ve been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious."
9. "Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody’s making a penny."
10. "I broke a mirror in my house and I’m supposed to get seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."

11. "When I get real real bored I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving."
12. "I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone."
13. "I’m writing a book. I have the page numbers done; now I just have to fill in the rest."
14. "When we were driving over the border back into the United States, they asked me if I had any firearms. I said what do you need?"
15. "I've written several children's books ... Not on purpose."
16. "I called the wrong number today. I said 'Hello, is Joey there?' A woman answered and she said 'Yes he is.' And I said ‘Can I speak to him please?’ She said ‘No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only two months old.' I said 'Alright, I’ll wait.'"

17. "I went to a place to eat. It said 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
18. "We lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If we wanted to cook something, we had to take a sweater off real quick. If we wanted to run a blender we had to rub balloons on our heads."
19. "I stayed up one night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

20. "I was Caesarean born. Can’t really tell, although whenever I leave a house I go through the window."
Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy
(Double click for full screen)
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Farewell Walsh High School

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ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS with modifications
"Steadfast, Loyal And True"





Farewell, Walsh High School,
We'll remember you.
Dear alma mater,
We're steadfast, loyal, and true.







As we go onward
In the lives we lead.
Your light will guide us,
Your motto is our creed.










We will look back fondly
At your ivy walls,
Recalling precious moments
Within your hallowed halls.





Farewell, Walsh High School,
We'll remember you.
Dear alma mater,
We're steadfast, loyal, and true.







As we go onward
In the lives we lead.
Your light will guide us,
Your motto is our creed.






We will look back fondly
At your ivy walls,
Recalling precious moments
Within your hallowed halls.






Farewell, Walsh High School,
We'll remember you.
Dear alma mater,
We're steadfast, loyal, and true.

and now the story is through...




1962 Ray Charles I Can't Stop Loving You
(Double click for full screen)



1964 The Beatles I Want to Hold Your Hand
(Double click for full screen)



1965 Rolling Stones I Can't Get No Satisfaction
(Double click for full screen)



1965 The Byrds Turn, Turn, Turn
(Double click for full screen)




1965 Barry McGuire Eve of Destruction
(Double click for full screen)



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Thursday, April 06, 2017

Conversations with Melchizedek - The Meaning of Lent and Holy Week

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Every person out there should have heard of the name Melchizedek.  A most mysterious person of the Christian Bible, the Jewish Torah, and Islamic Qur’an, Melchizedek is clearly one of the closest people to the Creator, the protector of the mission of Jesus, the Overseer of all of Creation, and the best friend the Human race will ever find. 

In truth, there are many names and responsibilities related to the Creator given to Melchizedek and there is no one else in the sacred texts garnering so much attention and evoking so much mystery.

To understand the concerns of Melchizedek you must know his spiritual foundation.  It is an eternal love for all creations of the Creator, a commitment to make sure all creations return to their place as co-creators of what is, devotion toward helping people remember all the love and teachings of the Creator, and to provide guidance to help the spiritual evolution of all humankind toward those goals.


Melchizedek wants us to know this Lenten period is a time to turn inward, very inward, and be contemplative.  It is a time to go inward and be still.  Pray for compassion for your mistakes, to be free of judging yourselves, because in that, you will be free of judging your neighbor.

One of the frustrations of the ancient ones is watching the evolution of humankind often discard and destroy some of the practices, techniques, and sacred nature of events like Lent and Holy Week.  Intended to honor the concept of resurrection available to all of the Creator's creations, long before the birth and death of Jesus the elements of Lent and Holy Week were in use.

Ash Wednesday

To understand the purpose, one must begin with the ancient Hebrew practice of sprinkling ashes long before Jesus walked the earth.  Ashes used in ancient times expressed grief, expressed sorrow for sins and faults, and for repentance.  The same tradition was incorporated by the Christians and Ash Wednesday became the beginning of Lent, a period for grief, sorrow, and repentance, followed by 40 days of fasting and prayer and ending in Holy Week.


In ancient times, they threw ashes on the face.  Today they make a sign of the cross on the forehead with ashes.  Melchizedek believes the symbol of the cross, especially used during Lent and Holy Week, is clearly a symbol of the Cross of the Crucifixion, a powerful symbol of the death of an innocent man who told the truth.

The forehead, the Third Eye chakra, is your intuitive sense.  It is probably not a good idea to block such an important chakra.  There is too much emphasis on raising people's consciousness and putting it in the Third Eye, and then drawing a Cross of Crucifixion across the Third Eye, which blocks the Third Eye from its proper function.

It is neither the best use of ashes nor placement of a symbol.  Returning to the ancient practice of sprinkling the ashes over the head makes far more sense.  If you need a symbol, then use the eight-point star of Melchizedek on the heart chakra, not on the forehead.  This is the place where the Golden energy comes from the Christ heart.

As for honoring the days of Holy Week and remembering the old ways, here is an outline of the concerns of Melchizedek for these issues.


Passion Sunday not Palm Sunday

Since Jesus agreed to follow only His Father's will, and the Great Moment, the Baptism by John the Baptist, triggered the final years of his ministry, neither Jesus nor those outside of time in the heavens considered Palm Sunday a cause for celebration, knowing what would follow.

Palm Sunday implies worship by the people, also fear struck into the hearts of the Jewish leadership, and a superficial welcome into Jerusalem.  Passion Sunday, on the other hand, indicates the nature of what to expect over the next week and the incredible roller coaster ride that would ensue.

As for Jesus, he was not admiring the adoration of the crowds but worrying about the impact of the events of the week on those he loved.  He understood the crowds of Palm Sunday would soon turn on Him but He was carried on the wave of the Father's will.

His greatest concern was his disciples doing something to alter the destiny of his crucifixion in an effort to protect Jesus from harm.  Such an effort would sabotage the event, prevent his crucifixion, and draw out the final sacrifice longer.

Of equal concern to Jesus was the impact of genuine grief his ending would have on his disciples, Mother, and Mary Magdalene.  While all were forewarned of the crucifixion and resurrection, they were caught up in the physical grief not knowing when they might, if ever, see him again.

The genuine loss and feelings, as in the case of the mother, what did I do wrong, or did I do something wrong?  Or, could we have visited more fully in this relationship because now the end is here, sparked feelings of resignation.  The Mother Mary, she knew it would one day come, she knew.  Yet the stark reality of the moment is still profound, and the human experience can be heart breaking.


As for the knowledge of The Magdalene, Jesus knew it would be a profound experience for her to watch her great loved one suffer in physical form.

Monday

Monday of Holy Week, what does it represent?

Monday is a time to focus on the different Astrological Ages that have come and gone, ages that we acknowledge by the constellations in the sky.  The Age of the Bull, Age of the Ram, and the coming in, the time at the birth of Jesus, of the age of Pisces, the fish.

Contemplate on the long history of earth and humankind, the big picture.  Think of all the miracles present every day in your life.  Use this time to focus on the one prayer, the Lord's Prayer, the Our Father.

Refresh your commitment to the Father again using the Our Father as the basis for this.  You have sustained us through these ages.  You are great and we are small.  Many of us reappear throughout time and only having a brief memory of you in our picture.  This is a time to remember the big picture, Creation.


 Tuesday

This day is a time for marking the traditions surrounding life at the time when this Christ came into the world.  There is the importance of coin, of rendering unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's.  It is a time to consider the teaching concerning taxation, and other systems that are put in place for the benefit of man, and to preserve life on the Earth plane.

It is a time to focus on the building blocks of Creation, the various laws by which we are bound, and to distinguish which laws we control or influence, such as the laws of Caesar.  There is Divine Law, Natural Law, Man's Law, and Canon Law all meant to guide our path. 

Are they good or bad for humanity?  Do they embrace the will of the Creator and serve all Creations.  Do they benefit all Creations equally?  Discover what is right, identify what is wrong, and then work to fix it.  Do this and you will fulfill the will of the Creator.


Wednesday

Wednesday is a time to contemplate the woes of man, the woe, and the need, and the recognition of the need for a mediator.  Why has it been so difficult to understand, there is hidden knowledge that we can communicate directly through the Creator.

We fail to pray the Our Father directly to the Father making it too difficult for our consciousness to address the Father.  Thus the need for one to come to mediate on our behalf, the need for a Christ to come,  the Son of God to come show us the way to Our Father.  Jesus will show us the way to pray, show us the way to be kind to one another, and to be conscious of our connectedness and compassion toward one another.

Did this have anything to do with the competition between the various Jewish priesthoods, the Sadducees, Pharisees, or Rabbis, or perhaps the Sanhedrin?

Yes, their lack of understanding of the connectedness, and why there is a need for a mediator rather than going directly to the One God, which is what the Jews taught, brought this about.  Because of their failures, there is recognition of a need for the Son of Man to come and show the way.  That is what the Wednesday teachings need to discuss.


Thursday

That is usually associated with the Maundy Thursday.  The Thursday before Easter is known as either Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday. Maundy is derived from the Latin word for "command," and refers to Jesus' commandment to the disciples to "Love one another as I have loved you."

Thursday is in the Garden of Gethsemane and it is the culmination of the fear of Jesus that his disciples would sabotage the path to the crucifixion.  The intrusion of the disciples, and one in particular (Peter) waging war and chopping off the ear of a soldier, all for the purpose of protecting the Son of God, truly threatened the success of his mission.

Yes, feeling that we can protect the great spiritual people such as Jesus from their Karmic journey, from their walk in the necessity of this path, was a dangerous intrusion.  It was a lack of understanding of his mission of crucifixion and his commitment to his Father's will.

The lesson, that sometimes you just have to let fate or destiny fulfill its mission would be a tough one for most people to accept.  Yes, there are in this way, even in the contemplation of our own time of death or time of ending of an incarnation, that we may question ourselves.


Friday

On Good Friday were there Angels with Jesus?

Yes Michael and Gabriel.

How about when He was carrying the Cross?

They turned away.

So He was on His own.

They turned away their faces from the greatness of that ultimate human experience, his being crucified for bearing the truth.  And the turning away was so as not to be contaminated by the loneness, the low vibration of that ultimate human condition.  The carnage and the ugliness of the humanness.  The ugliness to which, we would bring ourselves down, descend.

Is it true the Roman stabbed the sword into Jesus to make sure he would die before the Sabbath began?  Yes that was the motive, that was the intention.  It was also in the mind of the one who ordered this, the Roman Centurian.

Longinus was the soldier who actually pierced Jesus.  He really was trying to help the Savior pass.  He got the message, oh he got the message.  He knew who Jesus was.  He did not want to prolong this any more.  It also fulfilled a prophecy that Jesus would be dead before the Passover paving the way for the angels to arrive.

There would be no Jews on the streets concerned with the body missing or the burial. As a result, there would be a blank space in there where all of this other story would unfold.  Without the Passover and everyone home and in after the sunset, this all would not have been possible.  So the Roman, the head of that guard who ordered it, was motivated by the Holy Spirit to create fulfillment of this prophecy.


Thus at the precise moment of death on that fateful Friday, the earth, nature, the universe, and endless hordes of angels were able to awaken the world to the death of Jesus and the coming resurrection from the dead.

At the moment Jesus died, a massive earthquake tremor shook the entire earth.  There was a complete great darkening of the sky.  It was not just an eclipse, but an emission from a planet.  It was some kind of an explosion or emission that slowly passed in front of the sun blocking the sunlight for the next twenty-four hours.

A celestial darkening overcame the earth.  More like a cloud, more like a shadow, as clouds pulled together bringing a great darkening.  It was almost like the clouds pulled together to mask a major explosion behind it.  There was a great roar, a rumbling from that, which people would interpret as thunder.

At the time of the death and resurrection was the whole world aware of what was going on, just the Middle East, or only the Israelis?  The whole world felt the tremor and, the side where the Sun was, all of that area would have seen the darkening, whether it was on the horizon or not.

Those on the opposite side of the earth would have seen a shower of that explosion, a dense meteor shower with remnants striking the earth at different points.  There was impact, impact all over the globe, yes, a shower of the stars and the sky, the sky lighting up in places because of that.  There was also a great essence of human foreboding, and all through the animal kingdom, the animal behavior just responded, indeed all through nature, marking that point. 

That the mission was fulfilled.  There was rejoicing, great rejoicing.  Definitely, Angels sang.

How many Angels came down during that period, between the death and Resurrection.  I mean is there such a thing as the number of Angels, was it like an overwhelming amount?  It seems people would stay off the streets for the next couple of days waiting to see what happened.


A good question, can we number the Angels? 

There were hordes, hordes of Angels.  Banks upon banks, layers upon layers.  Sweeping, sweeping and rolling, and ascending and descending.  You know that concept of Seraphim, the Seraphim.  Michael was within that whole ascending, descending, rolling, turning, of Angelic forces coming.  He would appear and reappear.

Holy Saturday

Intended to give people time to realize what they had just done.

Yes, to revisit the darkness, it really is a continuation of this cloud coming across the sky bringing the darkness to the heavens.  All of the spiritual forces that are grieving, are angry, put in their places as it were by this event. People must know what they have done to bring on the darkness, the great darkness of the Earth.

Yet, it is also a celebration of the darkness.  Where in the celebration, and this is where the Catholics, Episcopalian, Russian Orthodox, and other religions carry on the influence, where they still recognize the magical influence, we find the Gloria does not appear at the beginning of the Mass but it appears in the middle of the Mass.  It is very indicative of the sudden burst, the lighting up, the sudden burst, and flowering of life that came through the Resurrection.


It depicts and honors the Resurrection.

There is starting to become a sense of, this act of Jesus was a fulfillment of prophecy, this was God's will. This was something Jesus had to go through in order to save humankind.

Yes, there was cause for singing the Gloria but that word was a later addition to the song.  First there was "Glory" in honor of the Resurrection.  Before that even, long before Jesus walked the earth, in the Druid teachings another more ancient word replaced "glory," a word whose translation implied homage.  However, in the old, old languages it was not possible to translate that word exactly as glory.

The importance of the Gloria and the ringing of the bells within the Church, this is honoring the magic of the Resurrection of Jesus, one of the magical moments retained in the Mass.  It is the most magical moment of the Mass.

The bells really should ring much longer and they should be tuned to different frequencies, high and low bells, and they should go on for a very long time because this penetrates the aura of the people.  In truth, this should be done on a weekly basis, not just once a year.  The ringing of the bells is very important healing energy to lift off all of the remorse and guilt of the human condition.

Was all this ceremony meant to be a method of celebration of the fact the mission of Jesus had been accomplished, and that the opportunity for salvation was here, or was there truly a great sadness in those outside of time?

The enlightened ones knew that it was a major event.  And that the mission of Jesus had been fulfilled.


Easter Sunday

We should call it Savior's Sunday.  Yes, yes. That is really a good way to say it.

The Roman guards are missing, the tomb sits open, and the body of Jesus is missing.  Only the solitary figure of Mary Magdalene can be seen wandering in the vicinity of the tomb.  Soon, after talking to what appears to be a gardener, she seems startled and takes off running for the town below Mount Calvary.

How about the tomb of Jesus, did they actually have it surrounded by Roman guards?  Yes.

If Magdalene was the first to discover the empty tomb, how did she get through Roman guards, or did they leave before she arrived?

For nearly two days, the guards were on duty protecting the tomb.  However, there were just some very sort of natural functions, they needed to eat and they needed to pee, they needed to do whatever.  They seemed to be off on their own little journey thinking, well this is ridiculous, what are we here for?  You know, He's dead!  They were anesthetized into believing there was nothing to this.

Weren't they convinced the body would be stolen and then they would claim He was resurrected?  

They were there to make sure he didn't get stolen, the body didn't get stolen.  They were convinced or confused, thus the angels who came would have posed almost as a change of guard.  They would have disguised themselves one way or another to convince the guards they could leave their posts.

The Romans were fooled into believing that they could leave.  Tired of the burden, even though they thought maybe yes, they should stay and obey orders, for they faced tremendous penalties if they did not obey orders.  So the angels did not just suddenly appear as angels, they appeared as replacement Roman guards.

Yes, and so it was easy to convince them because of their physical needs, there was a change of guard and they could leave.  It is slipping through the cracks again, the light, in the moment between the changing of the guard when something delayed the real change of the guard, and the angels took their place.


Now Magdalene, she still came and went under the watch of the soldiers, was she fearless?  She was able to walk in shadow, able to hide in the shadows.  Almost like the Psalm, hide me in the shadow of thy wings.

So on Easter Sunday was there a sense of foreboding in the world, how did the world react to Him being gone?  We know what the Romans and Jews thought, but what about other people?

Were people in awe?  Nobody really knew what happened except The Magdalene and the disciples, the apostles.  People had to be confused, asking what is this, is this true, did somebody steal the body?

There was a great reaction among those who knew without a doubt, it was reported to them.  Not all others got the news right away; some did not even realize the body of Jesus was missing.  The word of Jesus missing was accepted by some, and denied by others.  Many were interested in just getting back to their life; they were relieved that all that dissension ended.

After his resurrection, did Jesus actually go see Pilate and Caiaphas, High Priest of the Sadducees?

Pilate had a vision of Him appearing, more like a dream, necessary to be recognizable and translatable to Pilate.

As for the head of the Sadducees, Caiaphas, who was actually responsible for the whole mess, the Holy Spirit spoke to him because of his accountability, through the words of the Holy Spirit, and through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus meant for him to suffer and hold his pain for a while longer as part of his incarnation.  Soon after the resurrection, he resigned from the leadership position in his priesthood.

I wonder if that was a result of the insights, those he gained after the resurrection, when he was not able to bear his guilt.  Ironically, those very actions were necessary in order for Jesus to fulfill his mission.


Summary

In closing, Melchizedek reminds us this Lenten period is a time to turn inward, very inward, and be contemplative.  It is a time to go inward and be still.  Holy Week is a most sacred and miraculous period in our history as Jesus ends his short time on earth then resurrects to return to his Kingdom.

The astonishing range of polarizing forces witnessed during this time serve as a template for the core of Creation, while the gambit of emotional highs and lows, the dramatic impact of the act of crucifixion on those who knew and loved or hated Jesus, was a stark reminder of the terrible price to be paid for fulfillment of prophecy.

Our next Conversation will address the issue of the Ascension of Jesus Christ, the implications on the fulfillment of prophecy, and the mystery behind the two figures who accompanied Jesus back to his Kingdom.

Seeking Out Seekers of Truth