Admiral Gibby’s Seige…

Seems his long battle with the Giant Ground Hog might be at an end. The Admiral, as many of you know, lives at the first line of defense against the forces of nature that wander our way from the swamps and creeks surrounding the Point. Old Gibby is the first to encounter the dangerous varmints making their way in from the lowlands and one day a Giant Ground Hog showed up.

To hear the Admiral tell it, the Ground Hog proceeded to start undermining his entire house with holes big enough for New York subway cars to get through. Not only that but everything the Admiral planted, and he was well known for his abundant flower and vegetable gardens, seem to disappear over night.

Gibby put out the standard traps and the Giant Ground Hog made a mockery of them, casting them aside during nightfall. One morning the Admiral heard a real fuss in a trap only to discover he’d caught one of the cats in the neighborhood. After a few futile weeks he called in the Animal Control specialists and the Giant Ground Hog set out to show them how little they knew about trapping. Every day it seemed they would show up, find the discarded traps, and bring bigger ones. It got so we were worried the Admiral might go out some night and get caught in his own traps.

When the shotgun blasts started one night and in a matter of days it seemed like World War III was about to break out the Coltons Point Times decided it was time to get to the bottom of this situation. Long about sundown a reporter was sent to the Admiral’s homestead and sure enough, there stood Gibby staring out across his lawn with a shot gun in his hands waiting to spot the Giant Ground Hog before it could finish leveling his home. About ten feet directly behind the Admiral stood the wily old Ground Hog, up on his hind legs chewing an apple and watching to see what the old man was going to shoot next. For the longest time our reporter stood there watching the Giant Ground Hog watch Admiral Gibby. Finally he waddled off to the woods and not a shot was fired that night.

Rumor has it after several months of warfare either Gibby finally got the varmint or the varmint packed up and left for greener pastures. Then again, since the next occupants under the Admiral’s house were skunks, maybe the Giant Ground Hog decided to seek fresher air.

America – The Driven Society

Okay, it’s the middle of February and we’ve already seen the Golden Globe Awards, Screen Actors Guild Awards, Directors Guild Awards and the Grammy Awards. In a couple of weeks we have the Academy Awards, to be followed by the Country Music Awards and Emmy Awards. Haven’t you had enough?

Don’t forget the NCAA Football Championship, the Super Bowl, and the upcoming NCAA Basketball March Madness Championship. Of course Reality TV offers us a virtual smorgasbord of competitions including America’s favorite American Idol, Nashville Star, the top chefs, models, designers, nannies, adinfnitum.

Let’s face it, America is obsessed with competition, with the strong beating up the weak, with a win at all costs and with an arrogance that we can be best at anything. Even our leisure time is spent watching an endless string of competitions on television, at games, kids soccer, cheerleaders, even when it comes to SAT scores. There are probably more heart attacks watching these competitions than at work.

The result, baseball’s home run champions are on steroids, tracks stars are on drugs, and now NASCAR champions are caught cheating with their cars. Do we ever stop trying to find a way to enhance performance illegally? Well, okay, maybe Viagra is a legal performance enhancement but most methods are not.

I often wonder are the millions of fanatics watching so they can cheer for the winners or ridicule the losers? Why do we get so worked up over sports, or entertainment? To find the answer I turned to the Pointer Philosopher & Psychiatrist Hillbilly Joe.

Me: What are your credentials Hillbilly?
Hillbilly: I dunno.
Me: Sounds good to me. At least you admit it.
Hillbilly: Not on purpose.
Me: So what, in your learned loftiness do you think of the obsession with competitiveness of American society?
Hillbilly: It’s a by product, sort of the folly of the capitalistic system.
Me: Really?
Hillbilly: The inevitable conclusion of greed driven performance and a waste based economy.
Me: My goodness, that’s pretty deep Hillbilly. I take it you have some doubts about capitalism.
Hillbilly: I have no doubt it’s doomed.
Me: So what, in your omnipotent opinion, is wrong with our society?
Hillbilly: Too many people stopped nursing too soon, were raised by surrogate parents, were instilled with false ideals and were taught to worship gold, not realizing it was fools gold.
Me: So where did we go wrong?
Hillbilly: When you drive off the cliff it’s a bit too late to worry about where you went wrong.
Me: This is pretty serious stuff Hillbilly.
Hillbilly: Interview is over. Got to go watch Ghost Whisperers.
Me: Any reason in particular?
Hillbilly: Love that “Love”. She’s well equipped to handle the dead.

Too Cold? The Weather Watchers Series

Down here on the Point we have a way of knowing when it is too cold. It’s when all the Point People Walkers stay in for the day. If a day goes by and you don’t see at least three of the following people walking around the Point then it is just too damn cold for people to be out. Our weather indictors are King Bob, the Ink Spot, Cheerleader Sue, Haughty Helen, Brash Bren and Dogman Joe.

Maybe they should have stayed home.

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Weather indicators can be gleaned from their absence on the streets. Another way to tell when it is cold is when the roar of the lawn tractor fleet is gone. Duke Deere will pretty much be out in any kind of weather so when his Deere is silent watch out. Hillbilly Joe is never far behind. If Duke and Hillbilly are at work Mayor Bob or Dogman will always be out if it is humanly possible and if they go out on the tractors so will Admiral Gibby.

Histories Mysteries - A Light Hearted View of the Pilgrims Progress in Coltons Point

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St. Clements Island Lighthouse & Pilgrims Rest Stop

Many of you may remember this classic work of literature by English author John Bunyan first published in 1678. He was in jail when he wrote it in 1675 for participating in religious services outside the auspices of the Church of England, the only allowable religion at the time. Well we decided to track the Pilgrims Progress here in Coltons Point as it was the first stop over of religious outcasts from England just 40 years before John Bunyan was imprisoned and were it not for the Calvert family back in England many of our ancestors might have been in jail with Bunyan.

In 1632 George Calvert, who had been King James I of England’s principal Secretary of State at a time when the conflict between Catholic Europe and Protestant England was most serious, was granted a charter to what is now the State of Maryland. After George’s death in 1633 his son Cecil inherited his charter and determining that his brother, Leonard Calvert was the family member most expendable, sent Lenny to lead the expedition to America and establish a settlement around religious freedom. November 23, 1633 about 150 pilgrims got in two ships, the Ark and the Dove, and set out on a treacherous four month winter journey to America.

On March 25, 1634 the ships landed at Clements Island a stones throw from Coltons Point and between 150 and 300 people got off the boat, went to the bathroom, and started negotiating with the Yaocomico natives on shore for a permanent settlement. March 25 is now known as Maryland Day, the day the Catholics came to America and the holiday is celebrated everywhere but right here where it happened. Maybe we could fix that.

So the natives finally agreed they could have St. Mary’s City downstream for a settlement, there was no reason to mess up the Island or the Point with a new development, a position that remains pretty much true today. Just two years later, in 1636 and in spite of the fact he didn’t really own it Lord Baltimore went and gave the Island and Point to Thomas Gerard with the grant showing the Island was 400 acres.

Today the Island has 40 acres. It has been 370 years (1636-2006) since the first measurement of the Island in 1636 and over that time 360 acres have disappeared into the waters. Nearly an acre a year for 370 years have vanished meaning in the year 2046 the island will be gone completely and join the legends of the sea such as Atlantis.

A comprehensive history of the Island and Point should be done and a lot of partial histories have been written and could form the basis for the definitive story. Until then I’m going to add my version of an incomprehensible history to the collection.

So Lord Baltimore gave this disappearing Island to Gerard and in 1669 the Blackistone family took it over and kept it for 162 years. After that other families, possibly a beer company and a tobacco company and who knows who else claimed ownership.

During the American Revolution the Island was headquarters for the British troops. Oops, wrong side. Thirty years later during the war of 1812 it again was occupied by the British troops.

In 1853 a lighthouse was built on Clements Island for $5,000, and it survived for over 100 years before it mysteriously burnt down in 1956.

I believe in 1865 John Wilkes Booth came to the Point after shooting President Lincoln, during the missing week after the assassination, where he was supposed to catch a British ship and flee to England. Maybe the weather was bad, or for some other reason he went back and crossed into Virginia on his way to a much larger port. There is one heck of a story here along with the question, what did the English have to do with Lincoln’s death.

By 1883 the original St. Clements Manor House, built in 1636, was a hotel and beer garden in Coltons Point and became so popular it attracted ferry boat loads of tourists from Baltimore and Washington. Three weekly steamers came down to Coltons Point for the dances that were held at the old Blackistone Hotel Pavilion.

The origin of the Coltons Point name is an unverified local legend as is so much of the history surrounding the Point. R. Johnson Colton, the first Pointer Postmaster, is said to have won the acreage in a poker game in the 1800s. John Colton, vice president of government affairs for the Maryland Forests Association and R. Johnson Colton's great-grandson said it's possible. "I come from a family of card players," he said. A generation later, his grandfather supposedly won a house in nearby Clements the same way.

In the meantime in 1919 the Island was sold to the US government – used for training and weapons testing during the 1940’s, and by the 1960’s the State of Maryland took control of it.

Back in the Point by 1933 Coltons Point was known as Kopel’s Point and the manor house/hotel was now the Kopel’s Point Hotel, a time few local townspeople seem willing to talk much about. Two hurricanes the next few years pretty much destroyed the hotel by the early 1950's and it was never rebuilt. King Bob and the Ink Spot might finally be willing to talk about this time in their family history that is shrouded in mystery.

Just across the Potomac from Coltons Point in Westmoreland County Virginia three rather important historical figures were born and raised, George Washington, James Madison and Robert E. Lee. We would do well to take a little credit for them.

In the 1960’s a group of childhood friends, some descendants of the original settlers, some might even have been the original settlers, formed The Optimist Club of the Seventh District and at the urging of Father John J. Madigan started the Blessing of the Fleet Festival. That brings us up to date.

Like I mentioned there have been a few decent articles written about various parts of the history of Clements Island and Coltons Point. None tells the whole story. We would like to appeal to the public to help fill in the missing gaps in our history. If you have boring details and family histories give them to the St. Mary’s Historical Society. If you have scandalous stories, myths, rumors or information provocative in nature give them to the Coltons Point Times. We only want the fun stuff.

Consider that Jamestown was first settled in 1607 but disappeared in time. Fact is none of the early settlements in the colonies including Jamestown, Williamsburg, Middle Plantation, St. Mary’s City, etc. survived so who knows, Coltons Point could claim a spot in history right up there with Williamsburg, Busch Gardens and all the other famous historical sites.

The Road to Stardom with Billy Bush

Billy Bush, the ego starved host of Access Hollywood on NBC cannot resist the temptation to make himself a bigger celebrity than the celebrities he is supposed to showcase. But his latest escapade on TV has reached a new low in egomania, and it makes one wonder if NBC or the other networks carrying the show are a party to this nonsense.

Not content to just interview celebrities, Billy has decided that whatever Paris Hilton does he can do so he decided to become a recording star using the show to make himself what he isn’t, a record star. Now at least Paris had her own money to do this.

Billy used the show to get the best writers, producers, voice coaches and engineers to try and make him sound good. In the process he used all the resources of national television exposure to advance his personal career and didn’t pay a cent like every other artist in America must do.

Even a top producer, David Foster, was conned into the act and wound up looking like a stooge or patsy for helping someone with little talent to look good. Foster sold his soul for a few bucks and three nights of TV exposure. His integrity went down the toilet.

As for the Bush boy, his supercharged ego is beginning to drag co-host Nancy O’Dell down with him and we can only hope she can escape before her integrity is shot as well. Nancy is one of the few really good, objective hosts left on TV.

What in the world are the show producers thinking?

What About the Other History Months?

There was a letter the other day in the Enterprise about eliminating Black History month because it is a disruptive influence on all the students not Black and for a variety of other reasons. Perhaps the more proper thing to do would be to honor all the appropriate major ethnic groups in the American population and maybe the Native Americans since they seemed to have been exploited by everyone else.

Think about it. Some estimates are there were about 100 million Native Americans when the white man showed up 500 years ago. Since then they are the only ethnic group in America to have lost population, and not just lost it but seen it nearly wiped out. Now (2005 US Census estimates) there are just 2.3 million Native Americans left, a whopping loss of 97.7 million people lost to the progress of civilization. They deserve at least one History Month if not a whole year of attention.

Of the rest of the groups Black History month seems to be the only one receiving an entire month of study by our schools. In America Blacks make up 12.1% of the population compared to 74.6% White, 14.5% Hispanic, and 4.3% Asian. Thanks to the march of mankind the Native Americans, once the only people in America, are now down to less than 1% of the population and if it weren’t for their casinos they’d probably be extinct.

So the Native Americans deserve at least a month so they won’t be forgotten. The Whites, since there are six times as many as the Blacks, would also seem to warrant a History Month. There are more Hispanics than Blacks and the Hispanics have a few bones of their own to pick with America since they once owned all the land from Texas to California so maybe we should give them a History Month as well. There are 41.8 million Hispanics compared to 34.9 million Blacks but if we add the 10 million more illegal immigrants there are more like 51 million Hispanics here, 17.6% of the population.

That leaves us with the Asians, 12.4 million strong, and they now control the automobile and electronics industries worldwide so we better not upset them or we won’t have cell phones, HD TV or reliable cars. I say give them at least three weeks to a full History Month as well.

We would now have a Black History Month, White History Month, Hispanic History Month, Asian History Month, and Native American History Month. If we were truly fair we must look to the ancestry of all Americans for a full picture. As of 2000 the Census Bureau said there were 42.8 million Americans of German ancestry, 30.5 million Irish, 24.5 million English, 15.6 million Italian, and more than 4 million Polish, French, Scottish, Dutch, Norwegian, Scotch-Irish and Swedish.

That means we need 16 months to celebrate all the diverse ethnic groups with more population in America than the Native Americans. According to the national educational test results our kids aren’t learning much anyway so at least we could teach them a little about themselves. We could also extend school to year round so we don’t have kids hanging around in the summer, so teachers are working for time they are already paid, so there are more jobs available at McDonalds for senior citizens, and so high school football teams could start practicing earlier in the summer.

Diane Sawyer for Vice President!

There is a huge foreign policy problem in the White House that comes from decades of stagnation, inertia and plain old playground bullying. Look at the advisors that have the President's ear. There is Vice President Cheney and no other unless they were cronies of Cheney like Rumsfeld. Poor Condi Rice has been a mouthpiece for the ancients as long as she has been there which means she has no credibility when it comes to challenging the boys in the backroom.

Hey, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the gang have served the nation since Gerry Ford was President and most people don't even remember those days. We've had Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush 1, Clinton and Bush 2 since those days, eight full terms of presidents, and over 30 years since they were new faces in the nation's capitol. You can't really expect new ideas for correcting the problems of the world when the policy makers are from the geriatric set. The world they grew up in no longer exists. Perhaps it is time they no longer exist in control of policy that is outdated and unrealistic for the world of tomorrow.

In recent months ABC correspondent Diane Sawyer, Kentucky's gift to the media mess reporting on world affairs, has quietly and calmly secured interviews with people the Bush Administration refuses to talk to on some long forgotten principles. She has been to North Korea and Syria, met with and interviewed the leaders, learned more about them than the collective efforts of our 18 intelligence agencies, and outlined a path to peace which just might work.

Instead of thanking her for finding out exactly what the leaders of these nations are thinking, the White House continued their playground bully practices. The mouthpieces for the president blasted the countries for backing terrorism, not securing their borders, and all the other things the old boys could dredge up from the sabre rattling days of old when the world was black and white. Haven't they learned anything to date?

The Syrian President said it best when he said the USA can't even secure the border with Mexico, how can they expect other countries to secure borders with hostile nations. Remember Mr. Bush, between 13 and 20 million people have illegally slipped through our southern border. Heaven knows how many more came through the thousands of miles of Canadian border.

It is a new world calling for new ideas and new ambassadors to seek out the new solutions. The old boys have had their day in the sun, now it is time for fresh faces without the baggage of the old boys. Bush could still pull off a reversal and not end up the most unpopular president in history if he has the ability to lead rather than do what he is told.

We can start the long road to healing the world rather than threatening the world if Vice President Cheney would resign for health reasons. It is a perfectly legitimate excuse. He can’t even shoot straight. Bush could then appoint Diane Sawyer as the new Vice President and give her the authority to negotiate one on one with our adversaries, which she has already done. No one in the Administration has even met these people.

Sawyer is humble, cool and knowledgeable, something in short supply in our nation's capitol, in politics and in the news media. Most important she is open-minded and already has access to the very people the Administration cannot talk to for fear of looking weak I guess. Wake up Bush and demonstrate you are capable of original thought, of pioneering peace rather than retribution, of shedding the bonds that bind you to the worn out ideas of the past. Give our nation back to the people. Let common sense rule over the playground bullying we know does not work.

You tried trusting the intelligence agencies and look what it got. You trusted the military and look what that got. You trusted your advisors and look what that got. You’ve trusted everyone no one else trusts. Maybe it’s time you trust someone others do trust, someone like Diane Sawyer, the girl from Kentucky Bluegrass country.

The history books might read you had the first female VP in history. You tore down the barriers of hate between the Syrians and other Moslems and the USA. You eliminated the DMZ between the Koreas. I mean you might even be able to sell tickets to your future presidential library at some point in time. Think about it.

ACADEMY AWARDS CRUSHES DREAMS

In spite of the best efforts of the media, the entertainment television shows, obnoxious hosts like Billy Bush, and Oprah and the likes, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences once again proved they cannot be manipulated by the media. For weeks all the so called media experts were proclaiming “Dream Girls” as the runaway Oscar favorite for everything. They got eight nominations, much less than expected, two for supporting roles and the rest for technical and music, but did not land any of the top five nominations.

The avalanche of publicity and support did not fool the public nor the Oscar voters as Dream Girls, a nice musical, was one of two movies receiving extraordinary hype though an ethical nightmare. There are five top Academy Awards, Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress and Screenplay and Dream Girls was not nominated for any of them. Neither was the other ethical nightmare and media favorite Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

Why do I say both are ethical nightmares? Dream Girls is the story of Diana Ross and the Supremes and everyone knows it. Yet the producers did not get the support of the real Supremes, no technical input, no nothing. In other words, Diana Ross and the Supremes do not benefit financially or in any way for the exploitation of their lives and career. This production will end up in court for ripping off the Supremes story and when it does they have some explaining to do. The theater owners were not surprised that dreams for Dream Girls were shot down. No more than 800 movie theaters are even showing the movie compared to 2000-4000 for typical hit shows. If the movie had used the real Supreme hit songs the results might have been better but that would have required them to share the benefits with the real Supremes.

As for Borat, the idiotic show used deceptive practices including lying to the Americans appearing in the show about the use of the interviews, it made extensive use of leading interviews to secure preconceived results needed to make Americans look stupid, and they already are being sued by numerous people for unethical practices. Maybe the lack of nominations by the Academy for these shows will finally stop movies from being made that distort and twist all the principles of this cherished American art form.

Of course the media hated Mel Gibson’s show, Apocalypto, rather they hated him and tried to bury the movie. You have heard nothing about it since its release two months ago and they want you to think it was a failure. In spite of the media opposition and efforts to label the show as the most violent every shown it did set box office records the first week, just last week it set box office records in Europe, it has already taken in $80 million in theaters (it cost $40 million to make), and the huge potential DVD sales have not even begun. Oh yeah, it was nominated for two Academy Awards.

Letters to the Editor – January 19

Feedback is an important part of the newspaper business, knowing what opinions the reader may have of the articles, the world, or practically anything except television programming. Sometimes it is easy to get feedback as readers are prolific letter writers quick to give you opinions, and sometimes you have to really work to find out what they think.

Here at the Point most readers don’t write letters or comment. One might think so many are in the witness protection program they just don’t want to speak for the record. A few do shout comments to me when they are walking or driving by but I suspect most comments are exchanged between readers and more than a few are probably questioning the stories rather than the facts or opinions expressed.

Just the other day I was talking to Hillbilly Joe and asking him his thoughts on some pressing issues and I think I broke his brain. It wasn’t the outcome I expected. Perhaps we expect too much to think everyone should have an opinion on something. Dogman Joe might have the right approach, he doesn’t believe anything he reads or sees on the tube.

The most unusual letter I received was from the Devil judging by the comments and the links provided in response to our story on the End Times. The Devil was of the opinion, I guess, that I didn’t adequately explain both sides to the End Times discussion though his explanation would have filled several editions of the paper and shifted the balance way the other direction.

It is really odd the things you find on the Internet where the world of cyber space is based on electrical frequencies which don’t seem to be limited to the human dimension. As a reporter I appreciate the comments, even if they are from the Devil, everyone is entitled to their silly opinions.

The Internet itself is interested in your opinions, your actions, your everyday patterns of life. Did you know the Internet represents the greatest invasion of privacy since the over-zealous violation of individual protection laws under Homeland Security? Okay, how about since the banks and phone companies started selling your personal information?

Let me give you an example. I have firewalls, anti-virus, and layers of security systems on my pc so you would think I am protected. There are two kinds of cyber attacks on you, one designed to disable your system and the other designed to infiltrate your system and report back on your activity, records, documents, etc.

For a test I logged on to the Internet four times and checked my emails and promptly logged off each time. I then checked to see how many new cookies and files were created by Google, Yahoo and the cable high speed service providers during the few minutes I was actually on the internet. These files were sent to my computer without my consent and without notice from the companies for the sole purpose of tracking my activities or raiding the personal records on my pc.

The result, the first time I checked emails I had 382 tracking files created on my pc, the second time there were 130 files created, the third time there were 301 created and the fourth 184 files were left behind, a staggering total of 997 files generated on my pc to keep an eye on me in spite of numerous security systems including anti-spyware and anti-adware in just a matter of minutes.

Of course the scarier part is Big Brother has arrived and is alive and well but Big Brother is not even the government, is not loyal to governments, cannot be prosecuted for such invasions of privacy, and could care less what we think about their actions. In my opinion Internet companies are multinational, in fact global in scale, and have replaced the multinational oil companies and financial institutions as the biggest threat to the future rights and protections of citizens around the world.

I once wrote a three part report on Internet Security which I am going to add to this site just so you are adequately forewarned as you begin to wake up to the fact your rights, protections and security is being eroded at hyper speed and you have only one way to protect yourself from being a virtual cyber hostage, turn off the damn computer once and for all. Of course we won’t, God knows we might miss something important like Britney Spears is now wearing underpants or some such momentous event.

The Power of the Press - Cancer Statistics Revealed – Finally

On December 14 CPT did an article about the stunning drop in breast cancer deaths that were reported for the year 2003. In the same article we blasted the pharmaceutical industry and government for withholding and delaying the reporting of other cancer statistics as well as more current statistics because a reverse in cancer deaths would have a tremendous impact on the billions of dollars being made by the pharmaceutical and medical industries.

Yesterday, January 17, the government released 2004 statistics a full 11 months ahead of the release of 2003 statistics and lo and behold they showed the drop in cancer deaths even far more dramatic. While the media jumps in joy reporting on the wonderful new trend in stats no one is asking why the numbers were withheld for two full years. By now the 2005 numbers are known to the government and the industry and the 2006 numbers will be known in a matter of weeks.

Once again responsible citizens would be demanding of Congress and the media to know who and what is behind the withholding of information from the public. What are we doing in the past three years to reverse the cancer rates? CPT reported the breast cancer drop came because 15 million women stopped listening to doctors and drug companies and stopped using hormone therapy treatment in 2003. Ever since then the death rate has dropped dramatically. Why is no one else telling you the truth and why are you letting them get away with it?

Wake up, question, demand truth and expose the liars and our quality of life will change for the better before it is too late. A silent majority has only itself to blame for corruption.

The Power of the Press - Oil Profiteering Ends – for the Moment

Who knows how many people might be reading The Coltons Point Times but somewhere someone must be because we’ve received emails from readers in sixteen states outside of Maryland including California, Nevada, Florida, Kentucky, Ohio, Maine and Louisiana.

Even more interesting is the reaction by news makers to the stories that have appeared in the CPT. For example, November 15 we reported the Democrats won the election and oil prices went up, how could that be? By December 12 we reported oil prices continued their climb in spite of consumer restraint and good weather.

On January 8 we blasted the industry and the financial firms behind oil pricing with the “Oil Profiteering” expose on interlocking ownership between financial institutions, oil companies and the international energy futures market calling for Congressional and media investigations.

In December we were right and oil prices increased 2.5% in spite of the reduced use of oil and warm weather according to the Consumer Price Index. But after the January 8 expose of price manipulation what happened, the price dropped dramatically in the past 10 days nearly 16.5%. Of course the price at the pump has not dropped like that as energy companies suck the last vestiges of profits from us, the consumers.

Nothing has been done by Congress and the media to expose what we documented and you should be demanding that your Congressional reps investigate because you will get hoodwinked again, and again, and again until a stop is finally put to the interlocking ownership and prices can no longer be fixed or manipulated.

Face Stuffers Beware

Now that the holiday season is winding down it’s probably time you need to start winding down too by making yet another New Years Resolution to shed some pounds and thin the thunder thighs. My do we find new and ingenious ways to contribute to America’s obsession with obesity during those holidays.

To help you I’m going to offer reviews of places to eat when I actually do leave the security of Coltons Point and venture out into the cold, cruel world. It may surprise you that someone like me who doesn’t even like to eat and never eats more than a single meal a day can review eateries but just consider it an unbiased view of your world.

Today I’m reporting on a place people have been bugging me to visit for quite some time, Linda’s Café in Leonardtown. Now one of my pet peeves is the Point does not have enough eating places, none in fact unless you consider pretzels at the Potomac Gardens a meal, so traveling 30 minutes for a meal already has me on edge.

But it was breakfast and I was hoping my taste buds were still asleep. I was wrong. When we entered the place it seemed nice enough though there were an awful lot of workers looking for something to do. The big sign at the entrance was blank so I guess nothing was special that Saturday morning.

Not even the breakfast buffet was on the sign or the menu or even on a little sign at the table. The entire time we were there, over an hour as it seemed our breakfast was most difficult to prepare, only one person went to the buffet where all the dishes were covered and not a single café worker ever checked the food or brought fresh food.

We sat at the counter so I could watch the food preparation, another big mistake. Seems about everything being cooked for breakfast was made on the same grill in the same fat or grease or whatever that stuff was slopped across the grill. Huge piles of home fries and bacon were heaped on the side of the grill and were there the entire hour making me wonder just how fresh any meal could be.

The person cooking the food wore no gloves while handling all types of raw food and the person preparing the plates wore no gloves while pushing all the servings around the plates with their hands. In the hour we were there no one seemed to see a need to wash their hands so I guess all the bacteria and food poisoning outbreaks don’t happen in Leonardtown.

Even my two eggs arrived cold and I was no more than ten feet from the grill so I guess they had some energy saving cold fuel for cooking. On the other hand, Hillbilly Joe ordered toast which was burned so bad it was not even brought to the table. About 30 minutes passed before the food showed up, minus the toast. About 20 minutes later we inquired as to the disposition of the toast and were told it was burned.

End of discussion. I guess if the cook blows it the first time you don’t get it. So we said we still wanted the toast since we paid extra for it and the surprised waitress took our order and returned in minutes with the toast making me wonder how badly burned the first toast was if it took 50 minutes.

The coffee was pretty bad so it was a good thing no one was offering refills though most places would make that a policy. About the only thing I liked was being able to buy the New York Times and Washington Post at the newspaper stand and then I realized all the reading material must be to distract you so you would not watch the food preparation.

Whatever happened to the short order Diners with the mouthy waitresses and the always fresh food, steaming hot coffee, constant refills and bizarre conversations? If Coltons Point ever wants to take a quantum leap forward we should start a Diner so the Potomac Gardens pretzel bowls have some decent competition. Do you get the idea I was not all that impressed with Leonardtown cuisine? At least it is somewhere you can go to get out of the cold.

Isn’t it about the End Times?

For those of you that don’t know it I’ve made it a lifelong goal to study religions, movements, secret societies, cults, metaphysical stuff, spiritual, ad infinitum to try and get a handle on the End Times. When I thought the Jehovah’s Witnesses were close to getting it I observed and studied them close up, sort of witnessing the Witnesses, until we passed about the fifth Judgment Day without incident.

Still seeking answers I cross referenced my 40 year background with Native Americans like the Hopi, Navajo, Algonquin, Lakota Sioux, Maya and many other tribes around the world and their culture of life cycles with the New Age gurus, channellers, psychics and mystics and their many audiences, tapes, videos and books for sale to guide you through the end.

As a result of the prophecies, speculations, delusions and drug inspired visions I’ve heard along the way I thought I would share some of the latest news. First, the End Times is not really the end times but a stepping stone in the evolution of civilization as the various gods we worship are not about to give up on their best form of entertainment, the human race.

Divine intervention has a way of fixing things humans seem incapable of dealing with on their own so throughout the 5 billion plus year existence of Earth there have been enough meteors, volcanic eruptions, Biblical floods, ice ages and warm ups to pretty well change the face of the planet every 26,000 years or so without the help of the helpless humans.

Here are some scientific givens about the planet Earth. There are warming and cooling cycles taking place every 26,000 years as the orbit of the Earth moves from the farthest point from the sun to the nearest. When we are the farthest away we have an ice age, when we are nearest we have global warming no matter what mankind may do. The last ice age was about 13,500 years ago when we were farthest away. We are now at the nearest point to the sun and lo and behold we have global warming. Next come the floods.

The Earth is a living organism and it generates an electrical pulsing frequency which can change. It is now rising in frequency. The electromagnetic poles of the Earth do reverse every few millennium meaning when it happens your microwave, TV, computer and car won’t work. When there is an electromagnetic reversal your stuff won’t work for a few thousand years so don’t wait for TV to come back on.

Continental shelves do move around. There are swamps in Russia buried under the Siberian tundra, just like in Canada. Evidence suggests Antarctica was once far from the South Pole and some Earth realignment pushed it down there. What all this means is we humans have very little control over what happens to the Earth and less to the universe.

My research indicates there are three phases of the End Times that should be obvious to all mankind. There is a Purification stage in which the Earth is shed of all those not willing to work for love. During this time the evil, wicked, greedy, etc. will be removed by various undesirable and often horrible means. Or, they may just vanish.

Next comes the time of peace and harmony where those left are doing what is right to help others in turn helping themselves to an enlightened existence free of sickness, want, maybe even death. We shall call this the Bliss State. Finally the End Time arrives and either Heaven is brought to Earth or Earthlings are brought to Heaven for an eternity of Oneness. Personally, if that means spending eternity listening to harps and choirs while wearing a white robe and eating grapes I’m not sure I’m all for it.

The reason I bring all this up is the metaphysical world seems to be converging on the belief that this year, 2007, will be the year the Earth’s frequency reaches the point where the bad guys get zapped into never, never land. Seems like the Purification has gone on long enough and will now culminate with a lot of very bad things this year; resulting in the disappearance of all the really bad people not willing to contribute to the enlightenment of mankind. If you are one of the bad guys you might want to make plans for your end.

Okay, here is how this will work. Good people are raising their own frequency as the frequency of the Earth is increasing. Doing and thinking good things seems to have that effect. Bad people have negative energy and this lowers their frequency as the Earth frequency increases. Since human beings and the Earth are both things, they can’t exist with conflicting frequencies in the same state of being. Either you see the light or get zapped out of here.

It sounds good to me. No more overcrowding, high real estate prices, crime or pollution. Maybe no more taxation and wars. Plenty of food and shelter. You might be walking but that’s okay if you are surrounded by good people.

You heard it first here in the CP Times with this report that the metaphysical world is all a thither as finally we have reached the end of the Purification when the bad guys finally get justice in a permanent way. Watch for the signs if it is true, signs like unnatural disasters, mental instability on a wide scale, unexpected natural disasters, chaos, a breakdown of society and whatever else it takes for the bad guys to self-destruct.

If you want to know what you can do to survive you can order my series of audio, video, books and tee shirts on Getting Pure in the Purification. If you would just as soon skip the whole process of evolution you should order my book appropriately titled Take Me Now God! for the short form exit plan.

Oil Price Profiteering – Whose Doing What to Whom?

Okay, I’ve been waiting for the truth for as long as I can and now I’m convinced there is little truth of substance forthcoming from the hallowed halls of the free press of America. That’s just fine as long as the public understands the truth may be absent from reporting. It reminds me of a time about 10 years ago when I was in Moscow, as in Russia. I was searching for missing Stalin and Communist party film archives at a secret building in the frontier outside Moscow, on the perimeter of a former Soviet missile base.

The place was built by Stalin just before he died and many of his most valuable archives were moved there far outside Moscow where they would be safe from mobs in the city in case the Communists lost control one day. Well the day came a few years before I arrived and the KGB headquarters and archives in Moscow were stormed and destroyed when the Soviet Union collapsed. Of course the KGB had already removed anything of value, just as Saddam Hussein had moved the weapons of mass destruction long before the Americans invaded Iraq.

But people could not get to the Stalin archives in the frontier and thus I was hot on the trail of the truth about the Soviet empire. While interviewing and trying to train Russian librarians working for the archives I asked if they watched the news under the Soviets and they said yes. Yet they made it very clear they did not believe the news because the media and politicians were all controlled by more powerful forces. Imagine that! It could never happen in America.

So here we are today, well in to one of the warmest winters and years in history. People are traveling less and spending less because of previous horrendous hikes in oil prices last year. To my amazement, the oil people quietly released information late last week that oil prices have now increased five straight weeks. Heating oil use is way down. Gasoline use is way down. There were no hurricanes this past year. Energy conservation is way up. Yet the oil prices continue their upward climb.

What did the media or Congress or the White House have to say about this economic anomaly? Nothing? No answers and no questions. Do you find that a bit odd? I do. But the anomaly is still consistent with previous research I did and I have been waiting for the press or Congress to find the same information, what with their millions of dollars being spent investigating the high prices of oil.

When you slam down the gas pedal do you know where the gas comes from to get into your tank? Well crude oil is pumped from the ground all over the world but mostly from the Middle East. The barrels of crude are then sold on the energy futures markets in London and New York. Crude oil goes to refineries all over the place to be processed into fuel for heating, automobile use, and the millions of products made from petrol chemical feed stocks.

Multinational oil companies and a few governments own the oil reserves and they get their money back when the crude is sold on the futures markets, often before it is even pumped from the wells. Not a bad way to minimize losses, especially if the futures markets can prop up the cost of crude. All that takes is an occasional report from an independent financial analyst saying something bad about oil and the price skyrockets on the futures market. The financial analysts work for the financial institutions that finance oil companies and oil processing. One assumes they are truly independent otherwise their reports would be price fixing.

Who are the independent financial institutions whose reports influence the oil futures prices? You know them well because they probably handle some of your retirement or other money. Firms like Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank (Germany), Société Générale (France) and others are among the biggest in the world. Among the major oil firms whose prices they influence are BP Amoco, Royal Dutch Shell and TotalfinaElf, all three among the top eight most profitable corporations in the world in 2005. So what do these international powerhouses from the financial and oil industries have in common that is not well known?

They were all launch partners of the privately held IntercontinentalExchange, Inc. which just happens to own the International Petroleum Exchange of London, one of the world’s largest energy futures and options exchanges. So the financiers of oil companies and the oil companies themselves are partners owning the very international oil exchange that determines the price of oil and the profits to be made from it throughout the world. By the way, is it any wonder oil industry analysts are always giving bad news that increases the price of oil?

Now why weren’t we told by our government, our Congress or our press of this obvious conflict of interest, the possible manipulation of prices, and most certainly the profiteering from spiraling oil prices by these multinational companies? Aren’t the stock and futures exchanges supposed to help regulate and bring credibility to the economic markets around the world? Maybe you should ask your favorite politicians what gives, and how much he or she received the last campaign from the financial and oil companies involved in these rather greedy business practices.

Farewell To The People's President

Bob Woodward – Blabbermouth of American Media!
Egomaniac, Opportunist and Sensationalist Extraordinaire

By Jim Putnam

Bob Woodward, former Washington Post reporter of Watergate “Deep Throat” fame has taken a giant leap forward on his path of single handedly trying to demonstrate the sorry state of decline the journalism profession in America has reached. The day after President Ford died Woodward release a tape of an interview with the former President, a tape Ford requested not be released until after his death.

Woodward, the mad dog of opportunistic reporting and despicable journalist practices did not even have the decency to wait until the former President was buried before releasing the most provocative elements of the taping in which Ford disagreed with the Bush administration handling of the Iraq war.

Ever the seeker of sensationalism in reporting, especially when he has a new book on the market with disappointing sales, Woodward used his confidential taping of Ford in order to smear the Bush administration, to cast doubt on Ford’s honesty, and to distract from the many ceremonies honoring the “People’s President”.

Ford did not have an imperial presidency like others, but he did encounter an imperial media hack in Woodward. I doubt Ford said Woodward should release edited fragments of his interview at the instant of his death while his wife was in mourning and before he was even in the ground. Being the egomaniac he is Woodward showed no respect for the Ford family, for the fact Ford was kind enough to grant him the interview in the first place, or for the fact reporters are supposed to be reporting the news, not manufacturing it.

Woodward demonstrated once again when reporters think they are the stars of the news, and when good judgment and common decency can so easily be ignored, then it is no wonder the credibility of the news media has been tossed down the toilet. After this travesty no one in their right mind should be a confidential source to a self-serving blabbermouth like Woodward.

Wild Thing Rules Colton Point Skies

The magnificent Wild Thing, named by the Delaware Eagle Rehab Center where Wild Thing was taken after being rescued from the Potomac River by Jim Putnam, had nearly died from lead poisoning from the fish he ate. After several months in rehab Wild Thing was returned to Coltons Point and Putnam released him in the lot behind the Museum.

Wild Thing, his lifelong mate and two young offspring can be seen soaring over the Point most mornings and mid afternoon. You will know him from the massive size and silver tag on his leg. Regarding the unusual rescue in which Putnam waded out into the current in freezing chest deep water and Wild Thing actually swam to him to be saved, don't believe Ernie when he tells you the water is only knee deep.

Also, if you want to save a Bald Eagle don't listen to the authorities who warned Putnam not to interfer with the rescue of a Bald Eagle or he would be fined $10,000. Wild Thing would be dead if Putnam listened to the warnings. Wild Thing was the first of two Bald Eagles Putnam helped save and release back into Coltons Point and they are most certainly the most beautiful of all nature's wonders we share.

May your spirits soar this New Year on the wings of the eagles that share our home.

New Years Resolutions for Pointers

2007 should be a time for the Pointer True Hearts to rally around the flag and build the Colony of Coltons Point into the home of the proud Pointers starting with the tee shirt stating “I’m Proud to be a Pointer”.

Then we have the Four Seasons Social Schedule to kick off a tremendous year with some quite ambitious undertakings meant to bring together the people of the point (POPers).

Spring

May Day Flower Festival – take a planned walking tour of the Point leading the unsuspecting public to all the secret locations of the beautiful flowers hidden throughout the Point. To take place the first Saturday of May it should include a re-enactment of a genuine European May Day festival with the Maypole and all.

Memorial Weekend Environmental Clean Up – a series of clean up projects for the Point will take place ranging from the first annual Burn Out to shore line and road clean up crews, etc. More details to follow.

Summer

The Pointers Potomac River Raft Regatta & Street Festival featuring original raft prizes, fun in the sun festivities, and the Coltons Point Talent Show competition.

Grand Opening of the Museum Band Stand and Summer Concert Series – where local and unique musical performers will perform weekly Sunday afternoon concerts in the new bandstand to be built on Museum grounds. One day a month a major concert will be held at the St. Clements Island amphitheater which will also need a Grand Opening Celebration of Music.

Fall

Coltons Point Colony Theatre Company (CPCTC) will premiere the original play in vintage dress titled The Native Pointer Perspective of the Pilgrims Progress or Lack Thereof, subtitled, Look at those Silly White Skins in that Ark and Dove.

Mini Macys Pointer Parade the day after Thanksgiving to welcome the Christmas season with a stunning parade of all the blow up Christmas decorations from throughout the Point (Santa’s, Snowmen, etc.) being towed by a massive fleet of riding mowers.

Winter

A Colony Christmas Eve reenacting a colonial Christmas in the days before electricity, television, computers and cars built around Christmas Carol teams on trailers being taken around the Point to serenade shut ins. All Pointers will then gather at the Museum Grandstand for Carols, Cider, Peace and good cheer. Luminaries will line the streets of the Point.

Coltons Point First Annual Snow Ball Championship in January will feature the women of the Point (Pointettes) taking on the men of the Point (Pointers) in a softball slow pitch President’s championship game to be played in rain or snow, hell or high water. The winning team will get to claim ownership of the President’s Cup which will be on permanent display in the Arrow Bar and drinks will be on the losers.

Coltons Point Social Club Brings Down the Year!

The Coltons Point Social Club brought the year 2006 to a dramatic close with the Carpenter Joe and Rose the Mary New Years Celebration of hope, peace and love on the island compound where the crowd got so big that after Haughty Helen’s arrival the draw bridge was raised.

It seemed most of the Coltons Point characters were out in their best dressed, best behaved mood and the mix of Pointers was nothing short of eclectic. Hillbilly Joe combed his hair for the first time in modern memory, Bren kept worrying her hair would become an unmanageable maze, Dogman and the Cord were having too good of a time to worry about their hair while Duke Deere had been so busy setting up the bash he forgot all about his hair.

Sweet Sue, ever the perpetual cheerleader, made certain none of the elders fell asleep while Colorado Chris kept surveying the rapidly growing masses and longing for the isolation of his Colorado mountain retreat.

Best estimates were somewhere between 50 and 300 people found their way to the island last night and a large number were probably still there this morning. Inky, the Mother Theresa of the Point, entertained with stories of her Mother Hubbard life while President Bob kept wondering if the fish would be biting at 5 am. Seems he went out a couple of days earlier in the massive fog bank and couldn’t tell if the boat was in the Chesapeake Bay or St. Patricks Creek but they still caught some 3 foot Rock fish.

Now the couple traveling farthest to the party were none other than the host and hostess Carpenter Joe and the Rose. They were re-living their youth cruising around the Smokey Mountains in North Carolina the day before when they realized they were hosting the New Years Eve bash at the Island back in Maryland and had to cut short the fantasy and race home to where they belonged, surrounded by their Coltons Point family and friends.

The other Chris, chef de cuisine of the seafood joint and wife Dainty Deb were there to verify the veracity of the delicacies. Even the no shows were there in spirit as Stevie Van Zany and Broadway Linda called in to wish everyone a great New Year though their presence will be expected at future Pointer parties.

Sheila, new pretender to the title of President of the Point by virtue of her ascension, should one choose to look at it in Biblical terms, to Head of the Museum, or top Dead Head, held court in the grand ballroom while Professor Ray, fresh from his trip around the world, was making note of the differences between the Pointers and the Chinese and Iranians he recently met. Perhaps he is doing a secret study of third world nations.

Marie Antoinette could be seen pressuring President Bob to take her out in the boat while Polar Pam was adding to the pressure saying shouldn’t a daughter be allowed in the boat as well? Of course President Bob was masterfully non-committal. The list of party Pointers goes on and on but the space in this story is limited so we can just say it was a record turnout and a nice follow up to the Kopel Kouple Kristmas Kaper a few nights earlier.

As the characters of the Point grow closer and get to know the amazing range of people and personalities that have found their way to the Point, it is becoming clear that the protectors of the Point are the very Coltons Point Social Club members working to bring about a sense of community, togetherness, and pride in the swamp. In the future, it will be up to the CP Social Club to make the Point all it can be.

Happy New Year, peace, freedom, love and where was Father Berry last night?

The Songs for Soldiers Christmas Campaign

After the Kopel holiday bash and the Jarvis island outing, not to mention company parties, jam sessions in the music room, and all the other weird things one does at Christmas time, I’m exhausted and there is still four days to go.

So I thought I’d share a little project we are doing here at Ivy Hollow. For those of you that don’t know, when he’s not doing anything else Jim Putnam writes music, and he even has a band in Nashville called Nashville Bound that records some of his songs as country music.

The past 2 ½ months he has been market testing some of the songs on the Internet at a site called Soundclick.com and he met with some surprising success. So far 19 songs have been released in five different categories of music, though all have their roots in country. The songs were released in Country, Rock, Pop, Blues and R&B and in 14 different genres within those categories. Here are the positions they reached on the national internet charts.

NASHVILLE BOUND
Songs © by Jim Putnam

Margarita You're Such A Cheater
Highest chart position # 1 (26,257 songs in Rock > Rock General)

Photographs
Highest charts position # 9 (12,348 songs in Pop > Pop Rock)

Goodbye Hello Old Friend
Highest charts position # 10 (3,070 songs in Country > Country-Pop)

On My Way To Be A Man
Highest charts position # 11 (33,146 songs in Urban > R&B/Soul/Pop)

I Walked Away
Highest charts position # 12 (528 songs in Country > Country Swing)

What Life's All About
Highest charts position # 12 (1,904 songs in Blues > Country Blues)

Last Night I Wondered Why
Highest charts position # 13 (9,325 songs in Rock > Rock n Roll)

No One's Left Keeping Score
Highest charts position # 16 (3,828 songs in Rock > Folk Rock)

Take Me Back Again
Highest charts position # 16 (991 songs in Country > Rockabilly)

Always Same Old Game
Highest charts position # 21 (8,052 songs in Country > Country General)

Something Was Wrong
Highest charts position # 22 (6,920 songs in Pop > Contemporary Christian)

Daddy's Gone
Highest charts position # 23 (6,237 songs in Blues > Blues Rock)

The Cowboy Walks Alone
Highest charts position # 23 (1,128 songs in Country > Country and Western)

That Someone Isn't Me
Highest charts position # 23 (7,946 songs in Blues > Blues General)

Take A Chance
Highest charts position # 25 (1,281 songs in Rock > Southern Rock)

Only Me
Highest charts position # 26 (2,115 songs in Country > Traditional Country)

Here I Stand Alone
Highest charts position # 28 (1,361 songs in Country > Bluegrass)

He Fooled Himself Again
Highest charts position # 34 (219 songs in Country > Cajun/Zydeco)

Of Thee I Sing
Highest charts position # 39 (3,208 songs in Country > Christian Country)

So what you might ask? Well the minds at Ivy Hollow decided someone must like the stuff or they would not all be in the top 40. The competition was tough as the following number of songs were fighting for the same top 40 positions against the Nashville Bound sounds.

(117,085 songs currently listed in Rock)
(25,534 songs currently listed in Country)
(18,422 songs currently listed in Blues)
(57,120 songs currently listed in Pop)
(33,146 songs in Urban > R&B/Soul/Pop)

So we decided to honor the members of the armed forces by giving away for free copies of all 19 songs to them, their families and friends, who can send the soldiers copies wherever they might be. On Christmas Day all of the songs will be available on the Internet for free downloads as the following press release states.

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Nashville Bound offers free mp3 downloads of 19 top 40 hits
In Songs for Soldiers National Christmas Campaign

Nashville Bound, the powerhouse band from Nashville is now offering an exceptional Christmas gift in honor of those fighting in Iraq, the Songs for Soldiers National Christmas Campaign with free downloads on Christmas Day of all 19 Nashville Bound hits. The band has an astonishing range of music from country to pop, rock to blues, and has reached the Internet top 40 with 19 straight releases in the past two months. The free downloads will be available at the following web page.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=603354

Families and friends of those fighting in Iraq and stationed throughout the world, and fans of the band are urged to download the music and send it to soldiers for Christmas. Free downloads on Soundclick.com include the #1 hit Margarita You’re Such A Cheater, 3 songs reaching the top 10, 9 songs in the top 20, 15 songs in the top 25, 17 songs in the top 30, and all 19 songs in the top 40.

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That’s what we are doing for Christmas. You can listen to the songs right now by clicking on the web site mentioned in the release or download them for free on Christmas Day. If you know any soldiers or families of soldiers you might mention they can get the songs for free and forward them. Back in the days of Viet Nam music was incredibly important to the soldiers and it still is today. Hope you all have a great holiday and watch for updates from the Coltons Point Times.

Kopel Kouple Kristmas Kaper

Last night was another of those legendary Coltons Point parties as King Bob, Ink Spot, Polar Pam, Auntie Joyce and all the rest of the Kopel family who were last seen in The Wizard of Oz, hosted the Kopel Kouple Kristmas Kaper and it was a stunning success as you can see from the scene gathered around the front porch waiting to get in.



The food, all prepared by the caring hands of the little people of Kopel family fame, equaled the best of the Baileys secret stash (the really good stuff they hold back from events). Being the Kopels have been Pointers a long time and done their best to populate the Point their extended family has developed some rather tasty recipes which were rapidly absorbed by the overflow crowd.



Early traffic jams at the bar and kitchen area were quickly overcome and the Pointer people rapidly took over the entire Kopel compound where the most unusual conversations could be overheard. If you missed out on this holiday gathering it was probably a good thing since not a single person more could have been wedged in to this body bumping bash.



Those Kopels sure do think of everything. There were doctors and vets in the crowd in case anyone got sick, Padre Berry in case they got real sick, really tall neighbors like Colorado Chris to look out over the crowds for trouble, politicians in case people had nothing better to talk about, and a constant array of trays being circulated filled with delectable delights.



Typical conversations ranged from Haughty Helen telling someone from the Gass Line that your family may have been one of the first to settle in this area, but my family was on the first boat that came from England! (Weren’t they the ones that landed on St. Clements Island, looked across the water at the Point, and immediately packed up and headed down river?) We just knew she had a Checkered past as well as present.



Speaking of the Gass line, it seemed like every other person I met was from the Gass house gang so maybe the annual event should be renamed the Kopel Kouple Kristmas Kaper and Gass Line Holiday Reunion.



If you looked close you could see Harley Tom talking to a mirror image of himself, Sweet Sue sampling sweets, Carpenter Joe and The Rose trying to figure out how to be polite and eat for the second time that night, and some people talking in hyper speed as if the proud owner of a bionic tongue, while others sat in stunned silence knowing they did not have the courage to try and get a word in edgewise.



King Bob and Inky may be the nicest couple around to put up with the cast of characters that crash their annual party. And people must like them since there were three times as many people at the party as live in the Point.

Thanks to our gracious hosts Inky, King Bob, Polar Pam and Auntie Joyce along with any other family members who were lost in the crowds for a very heavy happy holiday send off.

The Ultimate Politically Correct Holiday Greeting Except for Die Hard Atheists

( Why does Santa get all the good stuff?)

For all people of the world we offer prayers and hope for world peace and wish you happy holidays for (Christian) Christmas, (African) Kwanzaa, (Hispanic) Las Posadad-Noche Buena-Navidad, (Jewish) Hanukkah-Rosh Hashanah, (Persian) Yalda, (Islamic) Eid al-Adha-Muharram, (Buddhist) Rohatsu, (Hindu) Sankranti, (Celtic) Winter Solstice and (Chinese) New Year.

Holiday Time – Ugh…

Christmas time, the number one commercial holiday in the states, is the time when people exchange tons of treats, maybe gifts, maybe even fruitcakes if they don’t really like you. We send cards and presents, attend at least ten parties to celebrate one holiday, get lit up on eggnog and whatever gets put in it, and put on a happy face for all we encounter.

Now are we really being honest with ourselves let alone everyone else? Treats are nice but they make you fat. Is that any way to treat someone you care for? As for gifts, why are they expected on Christmas? Birthdays, sure give them whatever you want, but rampant commercialization on a sacred holiday like Christmas seems an inappropriate way to honor the meaning of Christmas.

As for the fruitcakes, long ago I learned to beware of those bearing 10 pound fruitcakes. You eat one of them and your body will scream out in pain not only because of the added weight but for whatever that load is doing to your innards. My advice, re-gift all fruitcakes, in other words give them to someone else as soon as possible.

The cards are a real sentimental touch. Remember when a personalized often corny family photo was the card? Now billions are spent to send loved ones images and words created by someone else and intended for anyone. Gift spending this holiday season will reach $457 billion, over $700 for every American. Mindless gift spending, buying gift cards rather than making a gift decision, will total nearly $25 billion.

No matter what you celebrate for the holidays, I doubt it was anything even remotely linked to the blizzard of money thrown away during the holiday season. The baby Jesus sure wasn’t born in designer clothes in a condo on Long Island. Yet the price of being an average American at Christmas carries a $700+ tag. What are we thinking?

Oh well, sing, drink, eat and be merry. It’s the American way.

National News Round up 12-14-2006

Breast Cancer Breakthrough.

After all the years doctors and pharmaceutical companies pushed hormone therapy treatment for women, at least up until 2002 when the government said the hormones might be causing breast cancer, there is finally a downturn in breast cancer statistics. However, it was not because the government issued a warning or the doctors recommended women reduce their use of the hormones but because 15 million women said enough is enough and stopped taking the treatment.

In 2003 breast cancer dropped 7%. Unfortunately, the pharmaceutical companies or government don’t want you to really know what impact those 15 million women had as the year 2003 is the most recent statistics available. Three years ago, hummmm. Isn’t it stupid that the most technological advanced society in the world runs three years behind in breast cancer statistics?

So instead of 211,000 new cases of breast cancer in 2003 there were actually 186,000, which means breast cancer today could easily be down 20-25% and no one wants to admit it. How will they all make money if the cancer rate is dropping? When 15 million women take life into their own hands and away from the doctors, drug companies and hospitals, the earth shakes.

Dr. Kervorkian Released from Prison.

The famed assisted suicide doctor who claims to have helped 130 people die illegally was released from prison today. It’s reassuring to know his services are now available again. Whenever my mother used to threaten suicide to get my attention I would send her a Kervorkian Gift Certificate for one treatment. I told her it would be a better way to go.

Another New Disease Discovered.

Thank God the pharmaceuticals have been busy because we now know another disease we didn’t know existed can be effectively treated with new drugs. It is called, believe it or not, the Restless Leg Syndrome. Only drug companies could relate a restless leg with a disease and come up with a cure. Now I know why my leg used to bounce up and down in school. All this time I thought it was boredom.

What could possibly be next in the Disease Discovery and Drug Dealing business plans for the drug companies? The old 4-D magic worked again. How about the Broken Nail Syndrome, the Split Hair Syndrome, the Boil on the Butt Syndrome or the Forgetting to Put the Toilet Seat Down Syndrome? Surely drugs could be found to help out those things. If not prescribe something stronger to make us forget about them.

Weather News.

2006 is the third warmest year on record which certainly doesn’t explain the increase in oil prices this winter. Of course we only have about 50 years of records out of 4.5 billion years the earth has been around so I’m not sure the records are being interpreted properly. There have been a few Ice Ages in that history so maybe the warming really is cyclical.

Flu News.

Once again the flu is back. Once again the flu vaccine doesn’t work. But at least this time there is more than enough for any fool that might want it.

Capitol Quiz.

In an earlier article I told you a Socialist party member is the deciding vote for Democratic control in the new US Senate. With all the fuss over the brain problems of the Democrat Senator from South Dakota if something should happen to him the Republican Governor of South Dakota would probably appoint a Republican to replace the Democrat and poof, the Senate is back under Republican control. Which is worse, the Democrat majority dependent on a Socialist or the Republican majority dependent upon VP Dick Cheney? Contrary to the reports of the national news media, right now there are 49 Democrats and 49 Republicans, one Independent and one Socialist. The Independent and Socialist are supporting the Democrats.

Sports Roundup.

The Washington Redskins lost, the Baltimore Jaguars lost less, the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles lost a lot more, the Washington Capitols lost the hot shot kid, and no one cares what any other team lost or won.

I wonder why?

Why is the news media so silent about the $33 million already paid in fines by the record companies in the USA for bribing radio stations and disc jockeys to play their favorite artists? Now there are hundreds of radio stations under investigation by the FCC and still no press. Is corruption so accepted that it is not even noticed?

Why did oil prices go up when we have the warmest winter on record, there were no hurricanes to destroy oil facilities, oil inventories are at high levels, and the American consumer has changed their driving habits by stopping the purchase of gas guzzling vehicles?

What happened to the promise of politicians to pull our troops out of Iraq if elected? Do they really think we will forget the promises just because committees and specialists are being consulted about a new war policy? Will the consulting amount to anything new?

How can the Bush Administration continue to refuse to talk to Iran and North Korea about issues of world significance just because they are the bad guys? Presidents Nixon and Reagan had no problem with direct talks with Red China and the Soviet Union when they were our enemies.

Why is Congress only in session four days during the month of December if we are facing so many critical issues like budget approval, immigration reform, Iraq policy, oil price gouging, corruption and a host of other matters?

Why does our government continue to insist other countries of the world must adopt a system of democracy like ours in order to get our help when only 25% of the eligible voters elected the new Congress in America? A government backed by 25% of the people means 75% don’t agree or don’t care and is that the kind of government we want for everyone else?

America faces an immigration crisis not from the flood of people who want to come to America and work but from the inertia in Congress at being able to address the issue. About 98% of all Americans are direct descendents of immigrants. The percentage of immigrants in America is less today than it was the first half of the 20th century. There is no indication immigrants are taking jobs from Americans. So why can’t we welcome the immigrants who are tax paying and productive members of the work force rather than stigmatizing them with an “illegal alien” designation?

Today, Tuesday, the government announced it raided Swift Meat Packing plants across the country and captured 1200 illegal immigrants, some with forged papers resulting from identity theft of Social Security numbers and real names to match. It means the company was duped, the government was duped, privacy laws passed by Congress prevent the SS Administration from notifying the real card holders that their Social Security numbers were stolen and the illegal immigrants were duped by the bad guys who stole the numbers and sold them to the illegals.

What they didn’t tell us was how 1200 illegal people found jobs that no one else seemed to want and they worked for an hourly wage that paid less than welfare, yet they still paid taxes and paid into the Workmen’s Comp and Social Security funds but would never benefit from their payments. The 1200 people being questioned were out of 15,000 employees of Swift & Company and 500,000 employees nationwide in the meat processing industry.

Oh yes, the raids also temporarily halted production in 15% of the meat processing plants in America which could result in shortages of meat and poultry inventory in grocery stores, price increases, hundreds of thousands of dollars in increased government costs to process the cases and deport the families if warranted, and the replacement of 8% of the meat packing workforce at Swift before full production is achieved. Does that really make sense?

Why are some people trying to adopt English as the only language allowed in America when even some of the English speaking Americans are impossible to understand? If we mandate English we should mandate that all current Americans speak English properly and read at minimum achievement levels. Neither is true today. When I was in Russia I was astounded to learn over 250 languages and dialects are spoken in the Russian federation. It doesn’t seem to keep them from functioning. And we can’t even handle two languages.

Why do the television networks continue to run so much garbage on TV and call it quality programming? Better yet, who are those millions of idiots watching the junk that show up in Nielsen polls? Remember my article about how many commercials are on TV? Well now I will tell you how much time you are wasting watching those commercials.

According to Nielsen the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV per day, 28 hours per week, 2 months nonstop per year and 9 years per lifetime. The average American youth spends 900 hours a year in school and 1500 hours per year watching television, and that does not even count the internet use. Who is teaching our children?

Coltons Point Lighthouse

We've poked a little fun in the CP Times at the Million Dollar Lighthouse at Bailey's but this picture shows the real deal as 15 year resident Marie Guidry walks the foundation of the original Lighthouse at St. Clement's Island that is being rebuilt. More later on that exceptional project but it's rather obvious it is in need of substantial repairs.

Catholics Finally Arrive

About 372 years ago the Catholics first landed at St. Clement's Island and refused to come to the Point. Now almost 400 years later, they have finally arrived as the flock of Flying Nuns can be seen above floating past the Museum.

The Guardians of Coltons Point

Holly, the Queen of Coltons Point, was abandoned over 5 years ago and has been raised by the Pointers ever since. While she floats from house to house she has a warm greeting for all the residents and a sharp bark for all strangers. If you hear this Golden Retreiver at night it will be to drive away any intruders, aliens, skunks, foxes or politicians.


Like any veteran of the Point, and she has lived here all her life, she is a waterman prepared to jump in at a moments notice to save someone, cool down, fish or enjoy a nice swim.


Coolin, formally known as CuChulainn Deo Irie, (the Warrior Dog of Ireland), is a classic Irish Wolfhound measuring 41 inches at the shoulders and 7 foot 3 inches from nose to tail. Known as the Gentle Giant, intruders of any size and shape better beware. Every day Coolin makes the rounds of the Point checking for strange scents and visiting our senior citizens to make sure they are alright.

Images of Coltons Point

Things Pointers do at the Point

Play football

Ride Bikes


Punch Out Someone

Professor Ray Lands in Iran

No he is not the Absent Minded Professor who got lost on his way to class at the University of Maryland. Maybe President Bush and his Administration can’t talk to Iran but Professor Ray, our Premiere Point Professor sure can as he is now in his second of four days of speaking in Tehran, which is the mangled star on the map close to the Caspian Sea. He is the designated Ambassador from Coltons Point to Iran.

Of course we may not know how it went until he gets safely to Beijing, China. Beijing is the big black cross on the map of China. What was that you might ask? How could he be safe in Red China? Well the Professor loves Chinese cooking, speaks a little Chinese, and is busy setting up a school of journalism over there so those Communists can figure out what is wrong with the American media. He’s our Ambassador to China as well.

Stay tuned for more reports on the Big Adventure of Professor Ray if he can find internet access in Iran and China or his wife Sheila perfects the telepathic communication technique in time.

Coltons Teenage Love Birds Reach 25th Plateau

Believe it or not the percentage of high school lovers who marry and get divorced is well over 50% but we have a couple who have beaten the odds in more ways than one. Colorado Chris and Sweet Sue, high school sweethearts in Arizona have just reached their 25th year of marriage, a significant achievement you should not underestimate.

Did you know only 1/3 of married couples reach their 25th anniversary, and only 20% reach their 35th anniversary? I’d make a big deal out of the 50th anniversary which is reached by only 5% of married couples but the primary cause of not reaching it is far more permanent than divorce like the others.

Colorado Chris, a native Pointer, can trace his local roots back to about the beginning of settling the area. Sweet Sue on the other hand, being from Arizona and all, seemed to appear without a trace out there in the desert just in time to capture the heart of our Maryland transplant in high school.

They married, moved to Texas, started their own empire, moved back to Maryland with the business to employ all the relatives, got a place in Colorado to go hide, and lo and behold Chris is now back in the Point where he began.

It was a nice anniversary according to reports leaked to the media except for the little incident with the earrings Colorado so painstakingly picked out. Seems the pierced earrings came with their own security system to prevent being ripped from the ears or something by thieves. There was a locking device on the thing that pokes through the ear.

Try as they might they could not figure out how to get them to release so until Sweet Sue gets to the jeweler to have her earrings unlocked don’t be surprised if on a sunny day you see the reflection of a spectrum of brilliant colors bouncing along Beach Road as she walks her dog Kahlua.

Have a great 25th anniversary year and may you reach the 5% club.

Coltons Critic's Corner

People swarming to get to art show

Went to the Art Show for Sassy Sharon and the Wolf Woman and I’m beginning to develop an appreciation for the finer aspects of fine art. The lines waiting to get in to the Left Bank studio were so long I had to wait until later to see the stuff but it was the best time to arrive as the guests and artists had been busy sipping a few bottles of wine to their success.

Now you may question my qualifications as an art critic in as much as I was the guy in 5th grade who took 8 bars of soap and carved them into nothing before I figured out I was not intended to be an artist. I only passed the soap carving test because I took the 9th bar, shaved off the corners, and called it a bear in hibernation.

But I’ve learned a lot since then. Like most artists are oddballs and the Coltons Point artists colony is no exception. Sassy gave me a hyper speed education in art appreciation as a means of explaining her penchant for abstract expressionism. I told her it reminded me of the graffiti I used to see in the NYC subways.

When I asked what she was saying in her paintings she nearly tore my head off saying something like abstract art is whatever you want it to be and if you don’t see anything in it you must be stupid, brainless, or a Republican. I asked why she didn’t say I was insane and she said "they" would understand the paintings.

So I looked up abstract expressionism in Webster's and it said, “a post-World War II m0vement in painting characterized by emphasis on the artist’s spontaneous and self-expressive application of paint in creating a nonrepresentational composition.” What? An artist’s nonrepresentational composition? Isn’t that the same abstract expressionism technique the politicians use in Washington, D.C.?

I wonder if abstract expressionism is an artistic style or a mental disease? Either way it makes for some interesting things on the wall. Now Sassy is a quite gifted sculpture and in these works the abstract part is subdued for the most part. I did see a little of it in the Lincoln bust as part of his head seemed to be missing. Until I understood abstract work I would have thought the statute had been dropped before it was fired in the oven or the fuse blew halfway through the drying process kind of like bread that is taken out of the oven before it finishes rising.

Wolf Woman was also on exhibit and her stuff I could understand a little better except for the prices which were the steal of the century for an art show. I tried to interview her but she just seemed to laugh at all my questions and then I met her husband, Wolf Man, and I understood. Even the little Wolfette was there to support her mum, though she was anxiously awaiting the chance to go out with her friends.

While the charter plane from the UK that I was expecting didn’t make it as the weather was a bit nasty two old friends from the Point, Rosemary and Diane, from my Bald Eagle swimming days, did make it. They hopped into their cute little RV and made an 8 hour trip down from their witness relocation site up north near the Canadian border. They certainly traveled the farthest to support their friends in the Point. Once a Pointer always a Pointer.

Many of the Pointers did show up when they heard there were free drinks and snacks and a good time was had by all. For those who didn’t show up and had no excuse, well, you missed a chance to meet your neighbors, share a few laughs, and check out some mighty fine pieces of clay and genuine abstract graffiti.

Do You Trust the Weatherman?

This has been a banner year for the weatherman, both locally and nationally, as they have finally demonstrated beyond doubt that weather reports are pure hogwash. Even the dumbest amongst us could match the success of the weather reports with a bottle of White Lightning and a dart board.

Ever since the television networks decided to make weathermen or women celebrities the quality of the reports has gone downhill, you might say they washed away with the latest unpredicted rain storm. About all we can really expect from the weatherman is they might know what is going on outside their studio at the time of their report if they take time to look out the window.

American productivity has decreased because of their constant warnings of another hurricane, or tropical storm, floods, high winds, lightning storms or whatever. Once they realized if they sensationalize the weather with dire predictions and warnings they could get more air time with the constant updates. But now these characters have cried wolf so many times their credibility is shot.

Tens of millions of dollars have been spent on satellites, weather stations and computer modeling and the result is a much faster and more graphic way of making mistakes. People are glued to the latest storm warnings when they should be out working or getting the eggs from the chicken pen.

Grocery stores and oil companies should name weathermen heroes since sales spike as a result of the multitude of mistaken warnings. Wrong weather reports mean more to grocery and gasoline sales than the needs of the family blowing the money while waiting in lines.

Lost productivity, line rage, price gouging, increased tension, cancelled outings, closed schools are all the direct result of the miscues from the weatherman. Why doesn’t a weatherman ever say they simply don’t know what is going to happen, or is the truth that hard to bear?

The last reliable weather reports came from George Carlin when he did the “Hippy Dippy Weatherman” routine stoned, because his reports, though they were the same every night in every venue he appeared, were always right. There will be light followed by dark. It may or may not rain.

I say put the satellite picture on the screen and silence the weathermen. Let us decide what the pictures mean since the experts have no idea. When they tell us we are going to have the worst hurricane season ever, land prices drop along the water, gas prices go up for fear of refinery damage, and people live on edge. Weathermen are a major disruptive force in America. Since there were no hurricanes to hit the USA this year it means they were not wrong once but over and over since about eight major storms were supposed to hit.

Make them personally liable for the billions of dollars they cost us in erroneous forecasts. Throw them off the air. Better yet, use them for a lightning rod in a thunderstorm and let them see how it feels messing with the public. But for Pete’s sake do not take them serious. The so called meteorologists with their weather bugs and space age technology should use their heads, not their machines and models, and if they do they will get out of the weather business.