Monday, December 04, 2006

Coltons Critic's Corner

People swarming to get to art show
Went to the Art Show for Sassy Sharon and the Wolf Woman and I’m beginning to develop an appreciation for the finer aspects of fine art. The lines waiting to get in to the Left Bank studio were so long I had to wait until later to see the stuff but it was the best time to arrive as the guests and artists had been busy sipping a few bottles of wine to their success.

Now you may question my qualifications as an art critic in as much as I was the guy in 5th grade who took 8 bars of soap and carved them into nothing before I figured out I was not intended to be an artist. I only passed the soap carving test because I took the 9th bar, shaved off the corners, and called it a bear in hibernation.

But I’ve learned a lot since then. Like most artists are oddballs and the Coltons Point artists colony is no exception. Sassy gave me a hyper speed education in art appreciation as a means of explaining her penchant for abstract expressionism. I told her it reminded me of the graffiti I used to see in the NYC subways.

When I asked what she was saying in her paintings she nearly tore my head off saying something like abstract art is whatever you want it to be and if you don’t see anything in it you must be stupid, brainless, or a Republican. I asked why she didn’t say I was insane and she said "they" would understand the paintings.

So I looked up abstract expressionism in Webster's and it said, “a post-World War II m0vement in painting characterized by emphasis on the artist’s spontaneous and self-expressive application of paint in creating a nonrepresentational composition.” What? An artist’s nonrepresentational composition? Isn’t that the same abstract expressionism technique the politicians use in Washington, D.C.?

I wonder if abstract expressionism is an artistic style or a mental disease? Either way it makes for some interesting things on the wall. Now Sassy is a quite gifted sculpture and in these works the abstract part is subdued for the most part. I did see a little of it in the Lincoln bust as part of his head seemed to be missing. Until I understood abstract work I would have thought the statute had been dropped before it was fired in the oven or the fuse blew halfway through the drying process kind of like bread that is taken out of the oven before it finishes rising.

Wolf Woman was also on exhibit and her stuff I could understand a little better except for the prices which were the steal of the century for an art show. I tried to interview her but she just seemed to laugh at all my questions and then I met her husband, Wolf Man, and I understood. Even the little Wolfette was there to support her mum, though she was anxiously awaiting the chance to go out with her friends.

While the charter plane from the UK that I was expecting didn’t make it as the weather was a bit nasty two old friends from the Point, Rosemary and Diane, from my Bald Eagle swimming days, did make it. They hopped into their cute little RV and made an 8 hour trip down from their witness relocation site up north near the Canadian border. They certainly traveled the farthest to support their friends in the Point. Once a Pointer always a Pointer.

Many of the Pointers did show up when they heard there were free drinks and snacks and a good time was had by all. For those who didn’t show up and had no excuse, well, you missed a chance to meet your neighbors, share a few laughs, and check out some mighty fine pieces of clay and genuine abstract graffiti.

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