Whose Next To Be President?

Okay, we have now settled in to Obama being our president so whose next should something happen to keep him from performing in office? Well the Presidential Succession Act of 1947 plus amendments addresses that issue and the line of succession is established.

Of course everyone knows Joe Biden is 1st in line but what about after him? Well next is our Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, the first woman to ever be second in line for president. Of the 18 established successors five are women which is probably a new record.

After Biden and Pelosi comes Robert Byrd, President pro tempore of the Senate and the oldest living member of the Senate at 92 years old.

Then comes Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton meaning two of the top four are women with one nonagenarian (Byrd) between them. I think two of the top four being women is also a first.

The fifth in line is our troubled Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. The rest of the list is as follows. As you can see, nothing better happen to President Obama.

Constitutional Order of Presidential Succession

1. Vice President & Speaker of the Senate Joe Biden
2. Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi
3. President pro tempore of the Senate Robert Byrd
4. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
5. Secretary of Treasury Timothy Geithner
6. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates
7. Attorney General Eric Holder
8. Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar
9. Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack
10. Secretary of Commerce Gary Locke
11. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis
12. Secretary of Health & Human Services Kathleen Sebelius
13. Secretary of Housing & Urban Development Shaun Donovan
14. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood
15. Secretary of Energy Steven Chu
16. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan
17. Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Shinseki

18. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano

Take Me Now God! - Excerpt #2

Epilogue

She’s right you know. I’m not compatible with humans. Hell, half the time my damn dog even loses it’s loyalty. Every time I try to relate to anyone, I just seem to blow it. Guess the only thing compatible with me is my cactus, and lately some of them have even taken to dying.

She once asked me if I ever considered suicide. Who wouldn’t after what I’d seen. But I said no. So she rephrased the question. Maybe I should consider suicide. That’s why I decided to end it. Seems the only way to protect the human race from further contamination by me. What did she call me? Oh yeah, the Devil Incarnate. Better known as the evil Prince of Darkness.

Once wrote a book that talked about the Prince. Guess she finally figured anyone that knew as much about the Prince as I wrote about must be speaking from first hand experience. She might be right I reckon. Stands to reason that the Prince would know all the details of Jesus’ life. He was there tempting him in the desert, trying to seduce him with riches, power and women. And finally, when he gave up on Jesus, he was there nailing him to the cross.

That could explain what I saw. All the time I thought I was the reincarnation of Joshua, the friend and scribe of Jesus. Never crossed my mind I might just be the Prince of Darkness. Took the Ex to wake me up. Her insights take all the fun out of the end of the world.

So this must serve as my final will and testament. My great escape. This world has hit such a subterranean level of degradation, that anywhere can only be better. The final plane ticket to Neverland. More like a subway death ride in NYC. Yes, final ticket out. They might call it a “Living Will” or something like that, but how could a living will be serving the dead? Never did figure that one out.

That might have been my problem, always trying to figure things out. Got me in more trouble than I could ever imagine. That and telling stories. When I was a kid, my grandfather and a bunch of other old men used to tell me stories, for hours.

They made me laugh. They made me cry. They even scared the shit out of me. But they always made me feel. Nothing else ever did I guess, except those old stories. It was a gift. Made people feel good. Made some like me feel for about the only time.

So there I was, just a kid, and already burdened by twin curses. Curses, by the way, that would haunt me the rest of my life. Figuring things out and telling stories. Yes, maybe she was right, maybe I was the son of Satan.

DON’T SEEM RIGHT TO ME

I don’t want the world to know
that I’m tired and feeling low
after all the miles I’ve seen along the way

For I’m not proud of the role
that I played as I did go
and I can’t imagine this is how it’s supposed to be
somehow this don’t seem right to me

But then I’m just a fool and fools
don’t really know what they’ve got
seems like they’re blinded by the moment
it don’t matter what they’ve sought

When they finally take the time
to stop and see just where they are
seems they never really
got so very far

Here's Susan Boyle Again!

Susan performing in the semi-finals of the Britain Idol program. She made it to the finals with this performance. Go Scotland...

Summer Comes to Coltons Point

As the last lingering effects of the long cold winter and spring fade away it is the beginning of summer here at Coltons Point and we are well on our way to enjoying one of the most beautiful transitions to summer in years. For the past week it could not have been more beautiful as you can see from the photos shot around Coltons Point this Memorial Day weekend.

It is a time to remember our veterans, those who fought to give us freedom, and that fight began right here in Coltons Point when the two ships arrived from England 375 years ago and set in motion events that would result in a war of independence from England.

Just 125 years ago Coltons Point and St. Clement's Island were being hailed as one of the best resorts on the East Coast as the steam boats brought holiday seekers from Baltimore and Washington, DC. Now they drive in cars to transform this ancient old fishing village into a summer resort that at times seems to be like the Long Island shore of the Hamptons.

Nearly four centuries have passed since the ships arrived yet life here at the Point is as vibrant, hopeful and protected as when it began. Sir George Calvert, Captain John Smith and Father Andrew White all shared the same dream to build the New World of America into the best nation in the world and the basis for being best was the freedoms guaranteed to our citizens.

No freedom was more important than the freedom of religion which was the foundation of the St. Clement's and Coltons Point landings. No where in the world offered such guarantees to all citizens and to all religions.

This freedom was incorporated in the grant given to the Calvert family to settle Maryland. It was first tested in George Calvert's first colony at Avalon in Newfoundland which he acquired in 1621. It was refined in 1634 when the Calvert ships, the Ark and the Dove, brought the English colonists to America. The dream continues to this day.

We hope you join us in honoring those brave men and women who offered and often gave their lives so that we could enjoy the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness we now take for granted.

Rapping with VP Biden - Next in Line for Presidency

In order to protect the Vice President from making one of his legendary blunders we are going to conduct our interview by asking him questions but only allowing him to respond with facial expressions, no words can be used. The White House should be much more at ease with this technique as no international incidents should result.

Mr. Vice President, what do you have to say about your connections to the credit card industry?

No comment huh. Well how about the fact your son is on their payroll and was when you were championing the bill to strip consumers of their rights on behalf of the credit card giants?

Well excuse me. So how is it being in the shadow of the much younger Barack Obama?

Do you feel the same way about most other Obama appointees?

Could you pelase help us understand how you are communicating with the President when you two always seem to be passing in the night?

What do you think about your predecessor Dick Cheney?

Do you have the ear of the president when it comes to our nation's business?

How do you get along with Hillary now that she travels the world grabbing headlines and you seem to have vanished?

Since you no longer have to commute from Delaware how long is your commute to your office now?

What do you think of that French President's wife?

2009 Preakness Update

She came, she saw, she conquered, but not by much in the 134th running of the Preakness. The race was all about the fabulous filly Rachel Alexandra who became the first filly in 85 years to win the Preakness. Under Derby winner jockey Calvin Borel she became the first horse to come from the 13 post position to win.

But the little colt Mine That Bird, the 50-1 upset winner of the Kentucky Derby once again came from last place and nearly caught Rachel losing by one length even though the Bird got caught behind a bunch of horses heading around the last turn. The little guy has the heart of a lion.

As we said in our preview article the change in the rules to not allow fans to bring their own booze could have a dramatic effect on the crowd. It did. In 2007 attendance was 121,263, in 2008 112,222 and in 2009 it dropped to 77,850, the smallest crowd since 1983, 26 years ago.

On the other hand betting was up from last year with $59 million wagered compared to $45 million last year. In other words, the attendance was down 30% while the betting was up 30% and in the end it is all about betting for the track to make money so it looks like driving out the drunks was a good thing.

Now compared to the Kentucky Derby the Preakness atendance and betting are about one half of the Derby numbers with the Derby drawing 153,563 fans and $104.6 million wagered this year.

Mine That Bird, the Derby champion had a different jockey on it than the Derby as the jockey chose to ride Rachel instead. Calvin Borel did the unthinkable, not riding a Derby champion and jumping to the filly. This has never happened before. Now he may not ride any horse in the Belmont.

Mine That Bird again suffered a humiliation as the replacement jockey who almost won the Preakness, Mike Smith, now says he will not ride the Bird in the Belmont. Since the original jockey, Corel has to wait and see if Rachel is going to enter the race he may get shut out when he could have become the first jockey to win the triple crown on different horses.

Once again there will be no triple crown champion. It will now be at least 32 years since the last champion, Affirmed, back in 1978 edged out Alydar in all three races, the most exciting finishes in history.

In Coltons Point the Preakness party moved to the Emery waterfront from the Gass Gang and after the spectacular display of hats on Derby Day, the black eyeed Susans were prominent on Preakness Day hats as the pictures show.

Guests travelled from as far as Mexico while Homeland Security Border Agents were brought in to maintain order. A good time was had by all as the two pools paid out to 12 winners, a new record. Stay tuned for a Belmont preview.

Take Me Now God! Review

What A Novel Idea.

Now I figured since this is the only ad free Internet newspaper making it either a far sighted business plan or just plain stupid, maybe you wouldn't mind if I deviate from my usual objective hard news and give you a sneak peek at one of my recent but not published manuscripts. If I am not overwhelmed with bad comments after this peek I will be posting excerpts in the CPT and you can be like a focus group if you dare to send in comments. Here is a reviewer's look at my latest book, Take Me Now God!.

TAKE ME NOW GOD!
a novel by Jim Putnam

So what happens when one pursues every course of self-enlightenment and discovery available to people with too much time on their hands? And what happens when they have exhausted their search through religion, cults, mysticism, spiritualism, Native American cultures, prophecies, politics, the psychic world and beyond?

At the journeys end they have only one option left. "Take Me Now God!" A demand to the Creator, Source, or God, no matter what you choose to call him or her, for immediate salvation. As the author says, "In the beginning was the Word, and no one listened."





In the first chapter of this "unauthorized autobiography", he laments; "She's right you know. I'm not compatible with humans. Hell, half the time my damn dog loses it's loyalty. She once asked me if I ever considered suicide. Who wouldn't after what I'd seen. But I said no. So she rephrased the question. Maybe I should consider suicide. That's why I decided to end it."

Beginning with the opening Post Mortem, the author rushes to dispose of all that is important in his life so God can take him now. And the reader is taken on a hilarious journey through the world of religions, the metaphysical, spiritual and more leaving a trail of shattered searches for inspiration and failure to find the hidden meaning in life.







Excerpts:

True love: "I was star crossed from day one, double crossed by day two, and nailed to the cross by day three."










The Illuminati: "The New Age of enlightened beings - the Illuminati. Often caught up in their own delusional hysteria. Demanding to be heard. Demanding to be followed. Judging others as they don't want themselves judged. Know how to tell the difference between a fraudulent Illuminati and enlightened one? You can't."

The Rapture: "There are a lot of interesting things in the spiritual world, but of all of them, the Rapture wins hands down. Think about it, the optimum lift off. The ultimate high. No more bills. No more taxes."

Creation: "Ever wonder about creation? I do all the time. Seems the Bible can account for about 6,000 years, back to the time of the big surf, or flood. The Hopi and Mayan Indian can account for another 250,000 years, including the mystic kingdom of Atlantis. Dinosaurs are 60-120 million years old. The Grand Canyon is 2 billion years old. Earth 4 billion, while the universe as we know it is 26 billion years old. I figure that is more than enough time to accommodate just about every version of creation there can be."






Psychic Channels: "I want real proof. Give me the winning numbers to next week's Powerball lottery and I'll be a true believer for the rest of my annuities. Those damn lotteries. Why is it there are only a few thousand possible combinations of winning numbers, yet the odds of winning are 12 million to one? Where does that math come from? Pythagoras in a drunken stupor?"

Native Americans: "I always had an affinity for them. Was the only kid that ever volunteered to be the Indian. Didn't bother me to get killed in most battles. Every once in a while we played Little Big Horn and I kicked some white ass."

Genetic Manipulation: "I've had suspicions about it since I was 5 years old, when I first tasted cooked spinach. That shit had to be genetically engineered poison. And don't you think it made me more than a little suspicious about my mother, who was trying to kill me with it?"

Ancient Prophecies: "There is nothing I want more than to believe the ancient prophecies. After the mess we have made of the Earth, we deserve no less than the catastrophic earth changes that have been foretold. It would be a fitting tribute to our self-aggrandizing ego trip."

The Past: "I'm with Einstein, like I said before, on that time - space continuum bending time. Past, present and future all take place at the same time. I haven't even committed all my sins of the past. They're happening as we speak. Same with the sins of the future. Don't need to wait, I'll just do them all together. Things get complicated when you are a free thinker."

From dogs to demons, Christians to pagans, Take Me Now God! takes one on a wild ride through the life of a searcher, albeit, one who came up empty handed but with no regrets.

Who Gets Credit for Backing Joe Biden's Line of Credit?

With credit card reform being debated in Congress our "people's" Vice President Joe Biden has been unnaturally silent on the bill and the criticism of the credit card companies. He should be silent. It is much harder to stick your foot in your mouth when your mouth is closed, or is that sealed shut.

Maybe it is for good reason. Look at the position of his boss, President Obama, who has railed against lobbyist money and attacked the unscrupulous practices of the giant credit card companies.

The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal have reported that Joe Biden, D-Del., took more than $200,000 in campaign contributions from Delaware based credit card giant MBNA during his 35-year career in the U.S. Senate.

Consumer advocates may take a harsh view of Biden’s vote in favor of the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005. The law was the first major re-write of the bankruptcy code in over 30 years, and, according to critics, made it harder and more expensive for lower and middle-class consumers to file for bankruptcy. Biden may have reason to regret that vote.

Robert Lawless, a bankruptcy law professor at the University of Illinois-Champaign, said Biden and other legislators apparently viewed that bill "as a 'free vote' to benefit their corporate constituencies. Now most people think that law was a disaster and that vote is coming back to haunt them, especially with this ongoing consumer credit crisis."

The credit card and banking lobby, including Biden-donor MBNA, pumped millions of dollars into Congress over 10 years to help get approval of that bill. Biden worked for the bill for ten years and voted for it in 2005, while Obama was one of the 25 senators who voted against it.

During the same time Biden's son was getting a very lucrative job and lobbying contract from MBNA. Needless to say Biden insists the fact his son was a hired lobbyist at the same time his dad was championing the MBNA bill and stripping consumers of their rights had no relationship, nor did the $200,000 MBNA poured into his federal campaigns.

So can somebody please tell me what is transparent and new about this Administration? The only change I see in this new Administration it that fat cat Senators or Vice Presidents can now change their vote and act like they really didn't take all those contributions, act like their son really is not a lobbyist for the same credit card companies and be comfortable with such a house of cards because the liberal media will never be able to question the real record of our VP.

Did I mention MBNA also purchased a million dollar house from Biden? I wonder what kind of line of credit Biden earned after all those years of protecting the credit card industry?

Search for Grand Dame of St. Clements Manor Underway

The Coltons Point Times, in honor of the historic Mary Land Grant and St. Clements Manor grant from 375 years ago, is acknowledging the right of the Mary Land colonists to establish an American nobility as authorized by King Charles II of England and Lord Baltimore.

As such we are designating the first title of colonial nobility in our modern history by undertaking a search for the Grand Dame of St. Clements Manor. In other words, we are searching for the woman with the strongest genealogy ties to the royalty represented by the colonists who first settled Maryland.

St. Clements Manor was first settled about March 3, 1634, with the landing of the Ark and Dove from England. There were three colonies set up by the English in America, the Jamestown Colony in 1608, Plymouth Colony in 1620 and the Maryland Colony in 1634. The first two were Joint Stock Companies while Maryland was a Proprietary Colony.

St. Mary's City is often considered the first chartered town in Maryland. Truth is there were no towns in Maryland until St. Mary's was chartered in 1668. However, there were many chartered Manors and St. Clements Manor was the first. It was settled in 1634 and chartered in 1636 as confirmed in a 1638 survey of the Manor. That makes St. Clements Manor one of the four earliest settlements in America.

The other three, Jamestown, Plymouth and St. Mary's City all were abandoned and dissolved in the 1690's which leaves St. Clements Manor ( Coltons Point and St. Clement Island) the oldest continuously occupied chartered settlement in English speaking America.

Now many of you may not know the extent of the royalty represented in the early colonists since we are such a laid back community in spite of being the oldest continuous settlement in the English speaking colonies of America. Well let me give you a few examples of how blue the blood flows. But first enjoy this photo of St. Clements Manor House after being rebuilt twice, on the shore overlooking the island.

Dr. Thomas Gerard, first Lord of St. Clements Manor, came from one of the most prominent Catholic families in English history. In fact long before the landing here in Maryland his family was actively working with George Calvert and other prominent Englishmen to secure a colony where the Catholics could be free to practice religion. Direct descendants of Gerard in modern times include Prince Charles of England and Princess Diana. Two of Gerard's daughters married John Washington, the great grandfather of our nation's father George Washington. One died so the other took her place.

Of course Gerard was not only among the most noble of Englishmen to come here, he was also among the most contentious which was a requirement for the feisty settlers of Coltons Point and the 7th District. To prove it this son of a most prominent Catholic family married a Protestant wife and raised his children as Protestants here in the Catholic colony.

In summary, there were a couple of boatloads of prominent people landing here at St. Clements Island and the founding fathers of Maryland were among them. To honor the rich colonial heritage we intend to find the Grand Dame of St. Clements Manor with the most direct connection to the original colonists.

photo of Lady Michelle

We have two early nominees for this highest of nobility honors here at St. Clements Manor and a thorough genealogy search will be needed to determine the ruling Grand Dame. However, all citizens of the area may submit other nominees along with information on why you think they qualify as the Grand Dame of St. Clements manor.

The early nominees are Lady Helen Blackiston-Dorsey and Lady Michelle Combs-Raditz. Lady Helen is from the Blackistone family whose patriarch married a daughter of Dr. Thomas Gerard back in the early days of the colony, 1669. Lady Michelle and her Combs family also go back to that time period as her family patriarch, Enoch Combs, bought land from the same Dr. Thomas Gerard around 1640.

Thorough research is underway to discover the ties to England and the English royalty of these Ladies and any other claims that may be submitted. We congratulate these noble blue bloods and look forward to our final crowning of the Grand Dame of St. Clements Manor. By the way you can see Lady Michelle at her Vintage Source Emporium and Social Club open this weekend. For details see http://www.thevintagesource.net/ and bring your money, the deals are the best in metropolitan DC.

Unfortunately, we need a photo of Lady Helen Dorsey and she seems to be missing. There have been no recent sightings of this reclusive blueblood since Obama got elected which may or may not have anything to do with it. However, when Lady Helen misses a fund raiser you know something is out of the ordinary and she has missed recent activities. Why she was even absent when her name was read at the 375th Maryland Day program at the St. Clements Island Museum, most certainly a grievous violation of her Dorsey family rules of etiquette.

Any sightings of Lady Helen should be reported to the CPT. Also, if you have any other nominations for the Grand Dame title besides Lady Michelle Combs-Raditz and Lady Helen Blackistone-Dorsey be sure to submit them. This is a very exclusive club.