What A Novel Idea.
Now I figured since this is the only ad free Internet newspaper making it either a far sighted business plan or just plain stupid, maybe you wouldn't mind if I deviate from my usual objective hard news and give you a sneak peek at one of my recent but not published manuscripts. If I am not overwhelmed with bad comments after this peek I will be posting excerpts in the CPT and you can be like a focus group if you dare to send in comments. Here is a reviewer's look at my latest book, Take Me Now God!.
TAKE ME NOW GOD!
a novel by Jim Putnam
So what happens when one pursues every course of self-enlightenment and discovery available to people with too much time on their hands? And what happens when they have exhausted their search through religion, cults, mysticism, spiritualism, Native American cultures, prophecies, politics, the psychic world and beyond?
At the journeys end they have only one option left. "Take Me Now God!" A demand to the Creator, Source, or God, no matter what you choose to call him or her, for immediate salvation. As the author says, "In the beginning was the Word, and no one listened."
In the first chapter of this "unauthorized autobiography", he laments; "She's right you know. I'm not compatible with humans. Hell, half the time my damn dog loses it's loyalty. She once asked me if I ever considered suicide. Who wouldn't after what I'd seen. But I said no. So she rephrased the question. Maybe I should consider suicide. That's why I decided to end it."
Beginning with the opening Post Mortem, the author rushes to dispose of all that is important in his life so God can take him now. And the reader is taken on a hilarious journey through the world of religions, the metaphysical, spiritual and more leaving a trail of shattered searches for inspiration and failure to find the hidden meaning in life.
True love: "I was star crossed from day one, double crossed by day two, and nailed to the cross by day three."
The Illuminati: "The New Age of enlightened beings - the Illuminati. Often caught up in their own delusional hysteria. Demanding to be heard. Demanding to be followed. Judging others as they don't want themselves judged. Know how to tell the difference between a fraudulent Illuminati and enlightened one? You can't."
The Rapture: "There are a lot of interesting things in the spiritual world, but of all of them, the Rapture wins hands down. Think about it, the optimum lift off. The ultimate high. No more bills. No more taxes."
Creation: "Ever wonder about creation? I do all the time. Seems the Bible can account for about 6,000 years, back to the time of the big surf, or flood. The Hopi and Mayan Indian can account for another 250,000 years, including the mystic kingdom of Atlantis. Dinosaurs are 60-120 million years old. The Grand Canyon is 2 billion years old. Earth 4 billion, while the universe as we know it is 26 billion years old. I figure that is more than enough time to accommodate just about every version of creation there can be."
Psychic Channels: "I want real proof. Give me the winning numbers to next week's Powerball lottery and I'll be a true believer for the rest of my annuities. Those damn lotteries. Why is it there are only a few thousand possible combinations of winning numbers, yet the odds of winning are 12 million to one? Where does that math come from? Pythagoras in a drunken stupor?"
Native Americans: "I always had an affinity for them. Was the only kid that ever volunteered to be the Indian. Didn't bother me to get killed in most battles. Every once in a while we played Little Big Horn and I kicked some white ass."
Genetic Manipulation: "I've had suspicions about it since I was 5 years old, when I first tasted cooked spinach. That shit had to be genetically engineered poison. And don't you think it made me more than a little suspicious about my mother, who was trying to kill me with it?"
Ancient Prophecies: "There is nothing I want more than to believe the ancient prophecies. After the mess we have made of the Earth, we deserve no less than the catastrophic earth changes that have been foretold. It would be a fitting tribute to our self-aggrandizing ego trip."
The Past: "I'm with Einstein, like I said before, on that time - space continuum bending time. Past, present and future all take place at the same time. I haven't even committed all my sins of the past. They're happening as we speak. Same with the sins of the future. Don't need to wait, I'll just do them all together. Things get complicated when you are a free thinker."
From dogs to demons, Christians to pagans, Take Me Now God! takes one on a wild ride through the life of a searcher, albeit, one who came up empty handed but with no regrets.