Wednesday, March 05, 2014

CPT Announces Revolutionary News Service - the CPT TWIT


Now that Tweeter has conditioned our minds to summarize all knowledge, information, news and thoughts in the world into about 124 characters the world is now ready for the Coltons Point Times contribution to the evolution of journalism.

Today we introduce to you the CPT Twit - in which we have successfully diminished your need to absorb all those demanding 100+ Tweet characters.  This modern technology driven age needs to minimize to the sub-atomic level the amount of data you should be required to absorb.

Our Twits consist of no more than 0, yes that means ZERO, characters.  Instead we rely solely on your sensory capabilities, far under-utilized in this digital age, to transmit the latest breaking news to you.

What, might you ask, is a Twit?

Don't ask me, ask your online Dictionaries.  Okay, we will.



noun \ˈtwit\

: a stupid or foolish person

Full Definition

1. an act of twitting :  taunt

2. a silly annoying person :  fool


Urban Dictionary is written by you


The kind of person that makes a retarded chimp look smart.

A moron with absolutely no sense.

There you have it.  So the next article you read, Putin Memo to Obama, is our first use of this revolutionary advancement in journalism.  Please forward our Pulitzer to our offices as we have no time to make it to the awards ceremony.


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