Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Kentucky Wildcats 25-1 and Still Number One!

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College Basketball Week 15: Kentucky Stays Runaway No. 1 In AP Top 25

Is this the year Kentucky finally wins the National Champioship again? After taking three diffeent teams to the final four will Coach John Calipari finally get his national championship and ticket to the Hall of Fame? The master of coaching the kiddie corp, Kentucky is of course dominated by freshmen, is dominating the polls and opponents as the last few games are played before March Madness begins.

What is it about the Kentucky basketball mystique?

Kentucky basketball history is a glorious thing. And, new coach John Calipari is leading the Cats back to college basketball heaven.

Widely considered to be the best men’s basketball program in the Southeastern Conference, the University of Kentucky Wildcats are in fact also ranked among the elite programs across the nation. Among all NCAA men’s basketball programs, Kentucky ranks #1 all-time with 1,948 career victories (the University of North Carolina is second, with 1,914 career victories). With an all-time record of 1948-608, Kentucky is also #1 all-time in winning percentage, at .762.

The University of Kentucky’s basketball program came into existence in 1910, when E. R. Sweetland signed on as UK’s Director of Athletics and its first basketball coach. And while UK tasted its first championship of any kind in 1921, when it upset Tulane, Mercer, Mississippi A & M, and Georgia to win the first Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Association basketball championship, it wasn’t until the hiring of Adolph Rupp, regarded by many as one of the greatest collegiate basketball coaches of all time, [see Top All-Time SEC Basketball Coach] that UK was elevated to a national level of prominence.


The University of Kentucky has won 7 National Championships in Men’s Basketball. The first four, in 1948, 1949, 1951, and 1958, came under the coaching of Rupp. The remaining championships came in 1978, 1996, and most recently, in 1998. That team, coached by Tubby Smith, earned he nickname the “Comeback Cats”, due primarily to their penchant for falling into deep deficits early in games only to rally late, including overcoming double-digit 2nd half deficits in comeback victories in each of the final 3 games of the 1998 NCAA Tournament.

The 1996 Championship team, coached by Rick Pitino, is widely considered to be among the greatest Men’s Basketball teams of all time. See Best All-Time SEC Basketball Team.

That team, which became the first team in 40 years to complete SEC conference play undefeated, went 34-2 en route to its victory over Syracuse in the NCAA Championship game. Kentucky's 1996 basketball team, rated as the best of all time by statistical guru Jeff Sagarin, featured nine future NBA players.

Many former Wildcats have gone on to find success in the NBA. In fact, from 1949-2006, UK ranks sixth nationally with 34 players selected in the first round of the NBA Draft. Among the former UK stars that went on to NBA success are players such as Dan Issel, Jamal Mashburn, Cliff Hagan, Pat Riley, Rex Chapman, and Frank Ramsey.


How big is Kentucky basketball?

By Ron Higgins on February 13, 2012 11:20 AM

So if you're John Calipari and your No. 1 nationally ranked Kentucky team doesn't have a game on Wednesday, what do you do?

You hold a practice, plan to open it to the public and maybe televise it.

"There are a lot of people, fans and students, who never get a chance to see us play," said Calipari during today's SEC teleconference. "They never get a chance to feel that experience."

So Calipari is in the process of trying to figure out where he wants to practice, depending how many people show up.

"If we get 4,000 to 8,000 fans, we'll probably do it in Memorial Coliseum," Calipari said. "If it's 20,000 fans, then Rupp Arena."

What about using Commonwealth Stadium?

"I woke up this morning and it was a little frosty," Calipari said with a laugh.

Kentucky is still unbeaten in league play and doesn't play until Saturday when the Wildcats are home against Ole Miss. Calipari said he's not thinking about winning the league regular season championship with a perfect 18-0 record.

"We're not talking in those terms," Calipari said. "It might happen, it might not happen. I'm just worried about improving and I see that we are. But we have a lot of hard games left. It's not about running the table. It's about putting ourselves in the best possible position at the end of the year.

"I thought our team last year was the best in the country at the end of the year. But that team lost six games on the road in the SEC. It helped us get where we were at the end of the year."


The Basketbowl - Michigan State versus Kentucky
The Basketbowl, between Michigan State and Kentucky, was the most attended basketball game in history. It occurred on December 13, 2003 at Ford Field in Detroit, setting an attendance record of 78,129. The previous record of 75,000 was held by the Harlem Globetrotters during their exhibition game at Berlin, Germany's Olympic Stadium.

Kentucky won the game 79–74. The NCAA was impressed with the massive size of the crowd that they decided in 2008 to expand the seating capacity for the Men's Division I Basketball Championship to a minimum of 70,000 starting with the 2009 Final Four, which would be held in that stadium.

Keep in mind, folks, this was a regular season game.


UK Cheerleaders are National Champions as well

The University of Kentucky climbed back atop the cheerleading world’s pyramid on January 15, 2012, at the Universal Cheerleading Association’s (UCA) College Cheerleading National Championships. Kentucky, competing in the UCA’s Coed IA division beat out 19 other squads from across the nation to win its record 19th national title. Last year’s Division IA champion, Alabama, finished second. The University of Central Florida, the only other squad to topple Kentucky in the past 10 years, finished third.


Thoughts about UK Basketball

"I just thought it was the Kentucky fans coming in." - Coach Billy Gillispie in Atlanta after a tornado slams into the Georgia Dome.

"Really, UCLA's a great place as well, but they don't have the kind of environment they have here. The fans here have a passion." - Dick Vitale on Kentucky fans, December 23, 1999.

"He's got the puppies set off the bus." - Bill Raftery talking about Tayshaun Prince hitting his fifth straight three-point shot from U.

"Apparently the University of Kentucky basketball dynasty is to continue forever." - Philadelphia Inquirer, December 23 1954.

"Turner ... Burner .... and one" - Jim Nantz

"Kentucky has found the secret of basketball, that it's five guys playing together." - former University North Carolina coach Frank McGuire

"I see no reason to end the basketball season in February just so some of these schools can start spring football practice early... Someday they are going to wake up and realize that basketball is here to stay." - Adolph Rupp on his Southeastern Conference brethren in 1934.


"I'd just as soon freeze to death." - Actress Ashley Judd relating a story of being offered a University North Carolina - Chapel Hill jacket on a chilly movie set. - Lexington Herald Leader, August 15, 1996.

"It's not wise to come to Kentucky and try to run them off their court. Not too many teams have ever done that." - Mississippi State Coach Babe McCarthy in 1962.

"When you see Kentucky's fans, you just wonder. You think how wonderful it would be to go to their school. You wish you could trade places for a day, just so you could experience that feeling." - UCLA player Kris Johnson

"In the next four or five years, Kentucky will be at its best. It has taken a lot of hard labor, but down the road we will be at our best." - Rick Pitino in 1995

"They had it before you, they had it during you, they'll have it when you're gone"...." - Al McGuire on Kentucky Basketball Tradition

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A Valentine's Day Message of Hope, Peace and Love

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Happy Valentine's Day

Bonne Saint Valentin

Feliz Día de los Enamorados

Buon San Valentino

Alles Liebe zum Valentinstag!

ハッピー バレンタイン

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Monday, February 13, 2012

Grammy Awards - A Night with the Stars

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Tinsel town really is into award shows and the 2012 Grammy Show was no exception.  The untimely death of Whitney Houston on the eve of the Grammy Show certainly gave the show more interest and hype along with the production difficulty of last minute changes to a very extensive production.

The awards themselves had few surprises led by Adele, the 23-year-old British soul phenom who swept all six categories she was nominated for, including album of the year for her sophomore smash “21.


The worst performance of the night, and there were several, came from the train wreck that was Nicki Minaj.  Nicki was attempting to do a Lady Gaga inspired performance but it was little more than poor taste, art at its most twisted and misguided.  From her parody of "The Exorcist" to a weird hip-hop take on "O Come, All Ye Faithful", her performance led the worst of the worst.


Adele provided the soul of the show.  For those of you not familiar with her, she is the sassy Brit who was first discovered on MySpace when a friend posted a demo of her performing.  At the 2009 Grammy Awards, Adele received the awards for Best New Artist and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.

Last night she added six more Grammy awards to her collection sweeping album and song of the year.  Her gutsy performance was a result of the loss of her voice last year, cancelling of her world tour, and laser surgery on her throat.  This was her comeback performance and she brought the house down.

One of few superstars who is a bit over weight in appearance, a bit cockney in her English accent, a bit salty with her language, and a bit frumpy with her image, she is a refreshing change from the studio manufactured cute, skinny, sexy, mindless personas one expects.


For someone of my generation it was seemingly surreal when the line up of performers included Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, the Beach Boys and Glen Campbell among other blasts from the past.  The fact they still dominate shows after all these years shows their staying power, and maybe the sorry state of song writing currently dragging down the industry.


Whenever there is a drop in music sales it is always blamed on the economy or pirates when it should be blamed on the lack of quality songs, lack of new artists that can sing, and lack of new songs that are written well meaning they actually tell a story.  The vast majority of performances last night had endless repetition, minimum lyrics, and less than stellar performances.


The few references to Whitney Houston and ballet sung by Jennifer Hudson were in quite good taste but there was an underlying tragic nature underpinning the show.  You had a tribute to Glen Campbell because he has Alzheimer disease.  A tribute to the Beach Boys whose Brian Wilson is another brilliant mind shattered by the reality of the music business.

Then there was the tribute to Adela who is coming back from throat surgery caused by her record label sending her on the road doing 200 shows a year.  It seems many of the new artists are treated like commodities and pushed until they break down.

Taylor Swift - Country Super Star

Finally there was the tribute to Whitney.  More than anything Whitney represents the real failure of the music industry to protect those who have so much to offer.  Ever since her descent into the dark side with Bobby Brown who took her from the light in the church choir to the darkness in the urban underworld of drugs and alcohol, she has been abandoned by many in the music industry.

Her death is a testament to the indifference often seen as we watch stars disintegrate in the tabloids.  Where was all the love shown last night when Whitney was alive and needed help?  No, there is something very hypocritical about the music industry and the way it can ignore those who helped bring the industry it's popularity, success, and yes, bottom line profit.

If you really care about your artists then save them when they are alive, don't just honor them when they are dead.
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Chinese American Electrifies New York Knicks in NBA

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Jeremy Shu-How Lin

Jeremy Shu-How Lin (traditional Chinese: 林書豪; simplified Chinese: ; pinyin: Lín Shūháo; Pe̍h-ōe-jī: Lîm Su-hô; born August 23, 1988) is an American professional basketball player with the New York Knicks of the National Basketball Association (NBA). After receiving no athletic scholarship offers out of high school and being undrafted out of college, the Harvard University graduate reached a partially guaranteed contract deal with his hometown Golden State Warriors. Lin is one of the few Asian Americans in NBA history, and the first American player in the league to be of Chinese or Taiwanese descent.


On February 4, 2012, Lin had 25 points, five rebounds, and seven assists—all career-highs—in a 99–92 Knicks victory over the New Jersey Nets. After the game, Knick coach Mike D'Antoni said Lin has a point-guard mentality and "a rhyme and a reason for what he is doing out there." In the subsequent game against the Utah Jazz, Lin made his first career start. He had 28 points and eight assists. In a game against the Washington Wizards, Lin had 23 points and career-high 10 assists. It was his first double-double. On February 10, 2012, Lin scored a new career-high 38 points and had seven assists, leading the Knicks in their victory over the Los Angeles Lakers with a score of 92–85.


On February 11, Lin scored 20 points and had 8 assists in a narrow 100-98 victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves. This win extended the Knick's win streak to 5 games, and at 13-15, put the team into contention for the 8th playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. Lin scored 109 points in his first four career starts, the most by any player since the merger between the American Basketball Association (ABA) and the NBA in 1976–77. The Associated Press called Lin "the most surprising story in the NBA." Bloomberg News wrote that Lin "has already become the most famous [Asian American NBA player]." Knicks fans developed nicknames for him along with a new lexicon inspired by his name, Lin. Time.com ran an article titled, "It's Official: Linsanity Is for Real". Hall of Fame player Magic Johnson said, "The excitement [Lin] has caused in [Madison Square] Garden, man, I hadn't seen that in a long time."
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Time for the Super Bowl of Dog World - Westminister Dog Show


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In case you didn't notice, the Westminster Dog Show is tonight.  Pictured is last year's Best in Show, Scottish Deerhound GCH Foxcliffe Hickory Wind, aka Hickory.  Hickory was the winner of the Hound Group.

The New York Times

The Westminster Kennel Club dog show had grand ambitions from its inception in 1877, when nearly 1,200 dogs trotted through the Hippodrome at Gilmore's Garden in New York City. Though that number was lower than promised – the show had hoped to attract nearly 1,500 to make it the biggest in the world – it was an auspicious beginning. By 1937, breeders, owners, aficionados and fans could see 3,147 dogs compete in breed, group and best-in-show competitions. Today, the annual event is the second oldest continuously held sporting competition in the United States, after the Kentucky Derby.

In recent years, the number of dogs has been capped at 2,500, and the spectacle takes place in a newer iteration of “the Garden” — Madison Square Garden — but fierce competition and a grandness of spirit are still hallmarks of the Westminster dog show.

Each dog that shows must be a champion in his or her breed to enter the ring. (It is for this reason that the dogs’ names begin with “Ch.”) Through each round of competition, luminously well-bred dogs are discarded for others more finely constructed; the standard presses toward perfection. From 157 breeds, to seven groups – sporting, hound, working, terrier, toy, non-sporting, herding – to one prancing circle of exemplary specimens, a single dog emerges: the best in show.

Favorite Beckham
A Bettor’s Guide to Westminster

The black cocker spaniel looks tough to beat, but don’t sleep on the Welsh corgi.



Hound Group

Once a footnote in the proceedings, with only three Best in Shows in the 78 years through 2007, the Hound Group has produced the most drama of any group over the past four years with two memorable upsets. In 2008, there was Uno the beagle overcoming a small army of talented poodles. And last year, Scottish deerhound Hickory, a 60:1 long shot, according to the Wynn Las Vegas sportsbook, bested the formidable smooth fox terrier.

With Hickory not competing this year (rumors of a Dirk Nowitzki bender of an offseason are unsubstantiated), it is shaping up to be a two-hound race. We have the establishment candidate: the 2010 group-winning whippet with a taste for the couture (her name is Chanel). And the insurgent: the pharoah hound Qing, hoping for an Arab spring of sorts—his breed has never even placed at the group level at Westminster. My hunch is that, after several years of Cinderella victors in the Hound Group, order will be restored and Chanel will prevail. Look for her paw prints on the sidewalk of nearby Fashion Avenue as she heads to the exclusive Westminster after-party.

Predicted winner: whippet


Toy Group

Originally bred as companions for nobility, toy dogs are the glamour boys of Westminster. Playing to the hometown high-society types, these pups consistently generate the greatest crowd response and have a penchant for stealing the show. Yet it has been 13 long years since the last Toy BIS winner (Kirby the papillon). Since then, the decades-old rivalry between the diminutive Pekingese and the flamboyant toy poodle has ramped up to a new level, with the breeds achieving four and three group wins at Westminster, respectively. It has been the dog world’s Federer and Nadal feud, generating countless magical moments.

Last year’s winning toy, Pekingese Malachy, will be in the ring again this year, undoubtedly showcasing the infectious dynamism he has displayed throughout his career. He will peer to his left expecting to spot his old poodle foil, Walker. However, word is that the 2010 group winner will be absent and his likely successor does not share as fine a pedigree. But Malachy shouldn’t be overconfident, as a turn to his right will reveal the imposing visage of his Novak Djokovic, Joey the affenpinscher. A native of the Netherlands, Joey brings flair and fitness reminiscent of a Richard Krajicek. This ought to be an epic struggle between two classy canines. What’s more, there is a miniature pinscher competing named Classie, whose impressive résumé may qualify her to be the Andy Murray of this analogy.

The 2012 Toy Group is extremely difficult to call. My crystal ball, though foggy, tells me the affenpinscher reigns supreme.

Predicted winner: affenpinscher

Nonsporting Group

By definition a collection of misfits, the Nonsporting Group could be excused for having a chip on its shoulder. It’s as if the American Kennel Club could not decide how to categorize these dogs and just threw up their hands and gave up. You have everything from the bulldog to the Lhasa apso to multiple dogs of Tibetan origin. Fortunately, understanding the group for wagering purposes is quite easy. Essentially, it is the standard poodle and everyone else. Over the past 25 years, the standard poodle has walked out of Westminster with the group’s James F. Stebbins trophy on 12 occasions. That is an amazing win rate considering there are 16 dogs in the group. No word on whether the small-market owners are threatening a lockout due to this lack of competitive balance.

The question this year is not whether the standard poodle will be victorious but rather which standard poodle will emerge from the breed competition. The two top nonsporting dogs are both standard poodles: Ally and London. Ally bested London last year but London is coming off of a Best in Show at the high-profile AKC/Eukanuba National Championship. With both of them legitimate contenders not only for Best in Group but Best in Show, this is the most anticipated matchup at the breed level in recent memory.

Predicted winner: standard poodle


Herding Group

Having formed in 1983 as an outgrowth of an overcapacity Working Group, herding is the newest of the seven groups of dogs classified by the American Kennel Club. Despite its relative infancy, the group had an immediate impact on the proceedings at Westminster—thanks to a self-assured German shepherd nicknamed Hatter. In 1987, on his third time representing the group in Best in Show, Hatter elicited raucous support from a New York crowd in search of someone to believe in during the Iran Contra scandal. After a close battle with Devon Puff & Stuff, a dogged bichon frise, Hatter took down first place and put the world on notice that herding was not your run-of-the-mill expansion franchise. Unfortunately, the world failed to listen. To this day, Hatter remains the only Westminster winner in Herding Group history.

There are plenty of explanations for the group’s struggles at Westminster. It could be that dogs bred to handle livestock do not resonate with the east-coast elite in our post-agrarian society. Or possibly the dogs’ obsessive-compulsive tendency to herd, in an arena with thousands of patrons eschewing order, provokes anxiety and distracts from the task at hand. Whether by curse or conspiracy, the herding dog drought is real.

Although the odds of this year’s cohort competing for Best in Show are long, we should be treated to a highly competitive and unpredictable battle at the group level. Two dogs in particular stand out: Roy the bearded collie and Capi the German shepherd. Roy won the group last year and is returning to Madison Square Garden to defend his crown. However, Capi matched Roy with 27 AKC Best in Shows on the 2011 circuit and is coming to Manhattan in excellent form. While these two appear to be the class of the group, I would not suggest sleeping on the Pembroke Welsh corgi, either figuratively or literally. The “PWC” enjoyed a mini-dynasty in the early aughts and the breed rolls deep this year with the precocious Molly and valiant Spencer.

On the silver anniversary of Hatter’s glory, bet on the German shepherd winning the group.

Predicted winner: German shepherd

Sporting Group

In essence, dog shows function much like the NFL Combine: Evaluators make inferences about a subject’s talent based on a very brief judging window. While I cannot speak to their Wonderlic scores, Sporting dogs are blessed with supreme athleticism and grace and are thus tailor-made for the Westminster showcase. With 19 Best in Shows—the second most of any group—the dogs are a proven quantity on the green carpet and always worthy of close study.

In 2012, sporting-dog enthusiasts everywhere are pinning their hopes on a silky-smooth 3-year-old out of Dallas. Beckham, a black cocker spaniel, was the No. 1 show dog in the United States in 2011, notching a jaw-dropping 68 BIS’s. Small in stature but oversized in charm, Becks is a prohibitive favorite to represent the group in Best in Show. For those gamblers in search of a dark horse, I suggest the Weimaraner. Dubbed “The Grey Ghost” thanks to its taupe coat, this unassuming small game hunter will need to manifest considerable spirit to best its spaniel adversary.

Predicted winner: black cocker spaniel


Working Group

One of the challenges of predicting group and BIS winners at Westminster is the prospect of upsets at the breed level. Think of it as handicapping a country’s chances at the Olympics prior to completion of the trials. Those who were bullish on the 1992 U.S. decathlon team prior to Dan O’Brien’s foibles at qualifications know what I am talking about. While many breeds have an overwhelming favorite to represent them, there are several where the result is in doubt. Such is the case with the boxer. Scarlett, fresh off of an impressive showing at the AKC/Eukanuba National Championship in December, boasts a remarkably statuesque posture, surely the consequence of an intensive core workout regimen. However, she cannot sleepwalk through her breed competition, as Danny, the country’s third-ranked working dog, is right on her heels. While this battle of the sexes may not carry the antipathy of the 1973 Billie Jean King/Bobby Riggs match, it is appointment viewing for fans on Tuesday morning.

While the boxers grab the headlines, the kuvasz (Tanner) and the doberman pinscher (Fifi) are both sneaky dangerous. Tanner is the top-winning kuvasz in breed history. Meanwhile, Fifi has been red-hot of late with a dominating performance at the Rose City Classic in January. This is a very competitive group.

Ultimately, I think Scarlett runs out of gas after a taxing crucible earlier in the day and Fifi dashes to victory in a minor upset.

Predicted winner: doberman pinscher

Terrier Group

It is no accident that the Terrier Group is the final group to show. Having taken home the celebratory bowl for Best in Show 45 times, terriers are the undisputed marquee dogs of the proceeding. The list of breeds reads like a “who’s who” of the canine elite. The Scottie, the Airedale, the wire fox. These clever and gritty pups are masters of progression, consistently establishing new benchmarks for the sport. I am honored to have the opportunity to comment on them.

The story this year is the tension within the fox terrier family. Adam, a smooth fox terrier with a distinctive black and white mug, prevailed last year and was the face of the terriers for much of the annum. However, the wire fox terrier Eire surged in the late fall and early winter with a BIS at the National Dog Show in Philadelphia and a group win at the AKC/Eukanuba show and is now the favorite heading into Tuesday. With hair texture being the primary differentiator between these two, there are some serious Jacob and Esau parallels (Genesis 27:11 for those scoring at home). As if that is not enough drama, the fox terrier breeds have accounted for an astounding 17 overall champions at Westminster. Get your popcorn ready.

I would be remiss not to mention two other contenders who are currently flying under the radar but have the potential to surprise: the prone-to-matting skye terrier Buddy and the fetching Norwich Plum. The dog of my childhood, the miniature schnauzer, once again is but a space-filler on the stage. I’ve had better luck rooting for Clubber Lang than a group win by the bushy-bearded German export. Nevertheless, I’ll be donning my “I Want a Schnauzer with my Wienerschnitzel” T-shirt for the festivities. No bandwagons for me.

Predicted winner: smooth fox terrier


Best in Show

Picking a champion of champions is a humbling undertaking, and I do not take such responsibility lightly. I drafted a pro/con list, ran hundreds of Monte Carlo simulations, even consulted a taciturn short-haired dachshund in my apartment building. Although the members of my projected field are remarkably close in talent, one choice stood out from the rest. Look for the black cocker spaniel Beckham to grab the headlines and the lucrative endorsement contracts on Wednesday morning. Enjoy the show!

Predicted Best in Show winner: black cocker spaniel

Evan Dahl is a second year MBA student at the University of Pennsylvania.
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Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Angel of Newark, Whitney Houston, Dies at Age 48

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The Angel of Newark as she was known when I worked for the Governor of New Jersey back in the 1980's came from a beautiful family grounded in religion and surrounded by love.

They were always willing to help out their home state in major events and it was an honor to meet her and her family during those years when she was a young 19 years old and she was becoming known and later beloved by the public.

From the start of her career more than two decades ago, Ms. Houston had the talent, looks and pedigree of a pop superstar. She was the daughter of Cissy Houston, a gospel and pop singer who had backed up Aretha Franklin, and the cousin of Dionne Warwick. (Ms. Franklin is Ms. Houston’s godmother.)


The Rev. Joe A. Carter of the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, where Houston got her start, Saturday night said: "She was a treasure on a global scale and, on a personal note, with our church family. We’re asking everyone to pray for her family at this hour. We’re asking all to respect them at this hour of grieving."

Carter said a prayer service will be held for Houston — a Newark native who moved to East Orange as a child and later lived in Mendham — at the church at 6:30 this morning and that she would also be remembered at 7:45 and 10:45 services.

Houston’s passing came on the eve of the 54th annual Grammy Awards. From 1986 through 2000, she owned the Grammy stage, winning six awards and regularly performing on the show.


She set the standard for musical excellence and was an inspiration for a generation of top singers ever since.

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Happy Birthday Mr. Lincoln

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Today is Honest Abe's 203rd birthday and he is as revelant today as he was during the Civil War.  So today we shall celebrate his humor, legendary as it was, with a fine report by Gordon Leidner of Great American Humor. 

Lincoln’s Humor

by Gordon Leidner of Great American History

Today we think of Abraham Lincoln as a great leader—perhaps our greatest. We recall his eloquent speeches, his dedication to the Union, and his superior leadership. We honor his devotion to duty, sacrifice, and honesty.


What we don’t think of today when we think of Abraham Lincoln is "a good joke." In Lincoln’s day, however, he was a well known humorist and story teller. The anecdote about two Quaker women discussing Lincoln and Confederate president Jefferson Davis at the beginning of the Civil War is illustrative: The first Quaker lady said, after some contemplation, that she believed the Confederacy would win the war because "Jefferson Davis is a praying man." “But Abraham Lincoln is a praying man too,” the second Quaker lady protested. "Yes," the first admitted, "but the Lord will think Abraham is joking."

Lincoln inherited his penchant for jokes and story telling from his father, Thomas Lincoln. When Abe was a child he loved to listen to his father and other men swap yarns around the woodstove. As he grew older he became increasingly adept at telling and re-telling humorous stories, frequently modifying them to accommodate each situation. When Lincoln became a lawyer, he used his jokes and stories to gain the good will of juries, and more than once his opposing counsel would complain to the judge that Lincoln’s stories were irrelevant and distracting to the jury. The trouble for them was that Eighth Circuit Judge David Davis loved Lincoln’s jokes more than anyone else in the court room.


Typical of a joke Judge Davis loved was one which Lincoln told to poke fun at himself: I feel like I once did when I met a woman riding horseback in the woods. As I stopped to let her pass, she also stopped, and, looking at me intently, said: "I do believe you are the ugliest man I ever saw." Said I, "Madam, you are probably right, but I can’t help it!" "No," said she, "you can’t help it, but you might stay at home!"

Another one of Lincoln’s 8th Circuit yarns was the one about a man in Cortlandt county who had raised a hog of such tremendous size that people came from miles around to see it. One of the people saw the hog’s owner and inquired about the animal. "W’all, yes," the old fellow said: "I’ve got such a critter, mighty big un, but I guess I’ll have to charge you about a dollar for lookin’ at him." The stranger glared at the old man for a minute or so, handed him the desired money, and started to walk away. "Hold on," said the old man, "don’t you want to see the hog?" "No," said the stranger. "Lookin at you, I’ve seen as big a hog as I ever want to see!"

He told another story of a time he was splitting rails when a man carrying a rifle walked up to him and demanded that Lincoln look him directly in the eye. Lincoln stopped his work and obliged the man, who continued to silently stare at him for some minutes. Finally the man told Lincoln that he "had promised himself years ago that if he ever met a man uglier than himself, he would shoot him." Lincoln looked at the man’s rifle mischeviously and said nothing. Finally Lincoln pulled open his shirt, threw out his chest, and exclaimed, "If I am uglier than you, go ahead and shoot—because I don’t want to live!"


As a politician, Lincoln made excellent use of his humorous stories. His long time political opponent Stephen A. Douglas complained that Lincoln’s jokes were "like a slap across my back. Nothing else—not any of his arguments or any of his replies to my questions—disturbs me. But when he begins to tell a story, I feel that I am to be overmatched." More than once Douglas and other political opponents of Lincoln’s saw their eloquently presented arguments forgotten by the audience after Lincoln followed up their speeches with a homely story or anecdote. At Alton, Illinois, during the last of the “great debates” with Douglas, Lincoln told a story that illustrated how he felt about a political feud that was currently raging between Democratic senator Douglas and the head of the Democratic Party. He said he felt like the old woman that, not knowing who was going to win a brawl between her husband and a bear, decided to cheer for both of them: "Go it husband, go it bear!"

In another instance Lincoln got a tremendous laugh from the audience when he said one of Senator Douglas'’ arguments was “as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had starved to death.”


When Lincoln became president, he used his jokes for a different purpose. He would frequently use them to get rid of visitors that had over-stayed their alotted visiting time. In these situations he would use a funny story to illustrate a point he was trying to make, and then—while the listeners were laughing—would ease them out the door.

This happened once when Lincoln was asked what he was going to do with a general that had failed several assignments. Anxious to get rid of his questioners, he told them that the question reminded him of a blacksmith he knew back in New Salem. One day, when the blacksmith didn’t have much to do, he started his fire and began heating up a piece of soft iron. When he got it hot he carried it to the anvil and began to hammer it, thinking he would weld it into an agricultural implement. He pounded away for some time until he got it fashioned into some shape, but discovered that the iron was not big enough for the implement he had in mind. He then put it back into the forge, heated it up again, and recommenced hammering, having decided to make a claw hammer. After a while he concluded that there was too much iron for a hammer. So again he heated it, this time thinking he would form an axe. After hammering and welding it into shape, he concluded there was not enough iron left to make an axe. He was now getting tired and disgusted at the result of his various failures. So finally he filled his forge full of coal, worked up a tremendous heat, and brought the remaining lump of iron to a white heat. With his tongs he lifted it from the bed of coals, and thrusting it into a tub of water near by, exclaimed with an oath, "Well, if I can’t make anything else of you, I will make you into a big fizzle, anyhow!" After he escorted his laughing visitors out the door, Lincoln decided to send the general out west to fight Indians.


Another example of Lincoln’s humor during the war was when he talked about Confederate General John B. Hood’s army after it had been annihilated in the battle of Nashville, Tennessee. Lincoln said "I think Hood’s army is about in the fix of Bill Sykes’s dog, down in Sangamon county. Bill Sykes had a long, yaller dog, that was forever getting into the neighbors’ meat houses and chicken coops. They had tried to kill it a hundred times, but the dog was always too smart for them. Finally, one of them got a bladder of a coon, and filled it up with powder, tying the neck around a piece of punk. When he saw the dog coming he fired the punk, split open a hot biscuit and put the bladder in, then buttered it all nicely and threw it out. The dog swallowed it at a gulp. Pretty soon there was an explosion. The head of the dog lit on the porch, the fore-legs caught astraddle the fence, the hind-legs fell in the ditch, and the rest of the dog lay around loose. Pretty soon Bill Sykes came along, and the neighbor said; "Bill I guess there ain’t much of that dog of your’n left." "Well, no," said Bill; "I see plenty of pieces, but I guess that dog, as a dog, ain’t of much more account." Lincoln concluded that although there were still pieces of Hood’s army left, the army, as an army, wasn’t of much more account.

As the responsibilities of the office of president became more unendurable, Lincoln used humor for self-therapy. He wanted to lessen the tensions in himself and those around him, and he frequently pointed fun at pompous generals when doing this. He said that he once saw a short, fat general that reminded him of a man he knew in Springfield whose name was Enoch. He said Enoch’s legs were so short that when he walked through the snow the seat of his trousers wiped out his footprints.


Lincoln told of the preacher that said, during his sermon, that although the Lord was the only perfect man, the Bible never mentioned a perfect woman. A woman in the rear of the congregation called out "I know a perfect woman, and I’ve heard of her every day for the last six years." "Who was she?" asked the surprised minister. "My husband’s first wife," came the reply.

Listening to two groups of men that came to argue as to whether or not a St. Louis church should be closed as a result of statements of disloyalty from its minister, Lincoln said that the situation reminded him of a story. He said that a man in Sangamon County had a melon patch that kept getting ruined by a wild hog. Finally he and his sons decided to take their guns and track the animal down. They followed the tracks to the neighboring creek, where they disappeared. They discovered them on the opposite bank, and waded through. They kept on the trail a couple of hundred yards, when the tracks again went into the creek, and promptly turned up on the other side. Out of breath and patience, the farmer said "John you cross over and go up on that side of the creek, and I’ll keep up on this side, because I believe that hog is on both sides of the creek!" "Gentlemen," concluded Lincoln, "that is just where I stand in regard to your controversies in St. Louis. I am on both sides. I can't allow my Generals to run the churches, and I can’t allow your ministers to preach rebellion."

One cannot truly appreciate Lincoln without understanding his humorous side. Lincoln certainly deserves the credit he’s received for what he accomplished in the way of preservation of the Union and freeing the slaves. But Lincoln had a lighter side, also, and he used his jokes and stories both for the purpose of winning over his audience and relieving the tremendous pressure he experienced as President during the terrible Civil War.

Now Abraham Lincoln belongs to the ages.
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