The Ultimate Politically Correct Holiday Greeting Except for Die Hard Atheists

( Why does Santa get all the good stuff?)

For all people of the world we offer prayers and hope for world peace and wish you happy holidays for (Christian) Christmas, (African) Kwanzaa, (Hispanic) Las Posadad-Noche Buena-Navidad, (Jewish) Hanukkah-Rosh Hashanah, (Persian) Yalda, (Islamic) Eid al-Adha-Muharram, (Buddhist) Rohatsu, (Hindu) Sankranti, (Celtic) Winter Solstice and (Chinese) New Year.

Holiday Time – Ugh…

Christmas time, the number one commercial holiday in the states, is the time when people exchange tons of treats, maybe gifts, maybe even fruitcakes if they don’t really like you. We send cards and presents, attend at least ten parties to celebrate one holiday, get lit up on eggnog and whatever gets put in it, and put on a happy face for all we encounter.

Now are we really being honest with ourselves let alone everyone else? Treats are nice but they make you fat. Is that any way to treat someone you care for? As for gifts, why are they expected on Christmas? Birthdays, sure give them whatever you want, but rampant commercialization on a sacred holiday like Christmas seems an inappropriate way to honor the meaning of Christmas.

As for the fruitcakes, long ago I learned to beware of those bearing 10 pound fruitcakes. You eat one of them and your body will scream out in pain not only because of the added weight but for whatever that load is doing to your innards. My advice, re-gift all fruitcakes, in other words give them to someone else as soon as possible.

The cards are a real sentimental touch. Remember when a personalized often corny family photo was the card? Now billions are spent to send loved ones images and words created by someone else and intended for anyone. Gift spending this holiday season will reach $457 billion, over $700 for every American. Mindless gift spending, buying gift cards rather than making a gift decision, will total nearly $25 billion.

No matter what you celebrate for the holidays, I doubt it was anything even remotely linked to the blizzard of money thrown away during the holiday season. The baby Jesus sure wasn’t born in designer clothes in a condo on Long Island. Yet the price of being an average American at Christmas carries a $700+ tag. What are we thinking?

Oh well, sing, drink, eat and be merry. It’s the American way.

National News Round up 12-14-2006

Breast Cancer Breakthrough.

After all the years doctors and pharmaceutical companies pushed hormone therapy treatment for women, at least up until 2002 when the government said the hormones might be causing breast cancer, there is finally a downturn in breast cancer statistics. However, it was not because the government issued a warning or the doctors recommended women reduce their use of the hormones but because 15 million women said enough is enough and stopped taking the treatment.

In 2003 breast cancer dropped 7%. Unfortunately, the pharmaceutical companies or government don’t want you to really know what impact those 15 million women had as the year 2003 is the most recent statistics available. Three years ago, hummmm. Isn’t it stupid that the most technological advanced society in the world runs three years behind in breast cancer statistics?

So instead of 211,000 new cases of breast cancer in 2003 there were actually 186,000, which means breast cancer today could easily be down 20-25% and no one wants to admit it. How will they all make money if the cancer rate is dropping? When 15 million women take life into their own hands and away from the doctors, drug companies and hospitals, the earth shakes.

Dr. Kervorkian Released from Prison.

The famed assisted suicide doctor who claims to have helped 130 people die illegally was released from prison today. It’s reassuring to know his services are now available again. Whenever my mother used to threaten suicide to get my attention I would send her a Kervorkian Gift Certificate for one treatment. I told her it would be a better way to go.

Another New Disease Discovered.

Thank God the pharmaceuticals have been busy because we now know another disease we didn’t know existed can be effectively treated with new drugs. It is called, believe it or not, the Restless Leg Syndrome. Only drug companies could relate a restless leg with a disease and come up with a cure. Now I know why my leg used to bounce up and down in school. All this time I thought it was boredom.

What could possibly be next in the Disease Discovery and Drug Dealing business plans for the drug companies? The old 4-D magic worked again. How about the Broken Nail Syndrome, the Split Hair Syndrome, the Boil on the Butt Syndrome or the Forgetting to Put the Toilet Seat Down Syndrome? Surely drugs could be found to help out those things. If not prescribe something stronger to make us forget about them.

Weather News.

2006 is the third warmest year on record which certainly doesn’t explain the increase in oil prices this winter. Of course we only have about 50 years of records out of 4.5 billion years the earth has been around so I’m not sure the records are being interpreted properly. There have been a few Ice Ages in that history so maybe the warming really is cyclical.

Flu News.

Once again the flu is back. Once again the flu vaccine doesn’t work. But at least this time there is more than enough for any fool that might want it.

Capitol Quiz.

In an earlier article I told you a Socialist party member is the deciding vote for Democratic control in the new US Senate. With all the fuss over the brain problems of the Democrat Senator from South Dakota if something should happen to him the Republican Governor of South Dakota would probably appoint a Republican to replace the Democrat and poof, the Senate is back under Republican control. Which is worse, the Democrat majority dependent on a Socialist or the Republican majority dependent upon VP Dick Cheney? Contrary to the reports of the national news media, right now there are 49 Democrats and 49 Republicans, one Independent and one Socialist. The Independent and Socialist are supporting the Democrats.

Sports Roundup.

The Washington Redskins lost, the Baltimore Jaguars lost less, the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles lost a lot more, the Washington Capitols lost the hot shot kid, and no one cares what any other team lost or won.

I wonder why?

Why is the news media so silent about the $33 million already paid in fines by the record companies in the USA for bribing radio stations and disc jockeys to play their favorite artists? Now there are hundreds of radio stations under investigation by the FCC and still no press. Is corruption so accepted that it is not even noticed?

Why did oil prices go up when we have the warmest winter on record, there were no hurricanes to destroy oil facilities, oil inventories are at high levels, and the American consumer has changed their driving habits by stopping the purchase of gas guzzling vehicles?

What happened to the promise of politicians to pull our troops out of Iraq if elected? Do they really think we will forget the promises just because committees and specialists are being consulted about a new war policy? Will the consulting amount to anything new?

How can the Bush Administration continue to refuse to talk to Iran and North Korea about issues of world significance just because they are the bad guys? Presidents Nixon and Reagan had no problem with direct talks with Red China and the Soviet Union when they were our enemies.

Why is Congress only in session four days during the month of December if we are facing so many critical issues like budget approval, immigration reform, Iraq policy, oil price gouging, corruption and a host of other matters?

Why does our government continue to insist other countries of the world must adopt a system of democracy like ours in order to get our help when only 25% of the eligible voters elected the new Congress in America? A government backed by 25% of the people means 75% don’t agree or don’t care and is that the kind of government we want for everyone else?

America faces an immigration crisis not from the flood of people who want to come to America and work but from the inertia in Congress at being able to address the issue. About 98% of all Americans are direct descendents of immigrants. The percentage of immigrants in America is less today than it was the first half of the 20th century. There is no indication immigrants are taking jobs from Americans. So why can’t we welcome the immigrants who are tax paying and productive members of the work force rather than stigmatizing them with an “illegal alien” designation?

Today, Tuesday, the government announced it raided Swift Meat Packing plants across the country and captured 1200 illegal immigrants, some with forged papers resulting from identity theft of Social Security numbers and real names to match. It means the company was duped, the government was duped, privacy laws passed by Congress prevent the SS Administration from notifying the real card holders that their Social Security numbers were stolen and the illegal immigrants were duped by the bad guys who stole the numbers and sold them to the illegals.

What they didn’t tell us was how 1200 illegal people found jobs that no one else seemed to want and they worked for an hourly wage that paid less than welfare, yet they still paid taxes and paid into the Workmen’s Comp and Social Security funds but would never benefit from their payments. The 1200 people being questioned were out of 15,000 employees of Swift & Company and 500,000 employees nationwide in the meat processing industry.

Oh yes, the raids also temporarily halted production in 15% of the meat processing plants in America which could result in shortages of meat and poultry inventory in grocery stores, price increases, hundreds of thousands of dollars in increased government costs to process the cases and deport the families if warranted, and the replacement of 8% of the meat packing workforce at Swift before full production is achieved. Does that really make sense?

Why are some people trying to adopt English as the only language allowed in America when even some of the English speaking Americans are impossible to understand? If we mandate English we should mandate that all current Americans speak English properly and read at minimum achievement levels. Neither is true today. When I was in Russia I was astounded to learn over 250 languages and dialects are spoken in the Russian federation. It doesn’t seem to keep them from functioning. And we can’t even handle two languages.

Why do the television networks continue to run so much garbage on TV and call it quality programming? Better yet, who are those millions of idiots watching the junk that show up in Nielsen polls? Remember my article about how many commercials are on TV? Well now I will tell you how much time you are wasting watching those commercials.

According to Nielsen the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV per day, 28 hours per week, 2 months nonstop per year and 9 years per lifetime. The average American youth spends 900 hours a year in school and 1500 hours per year watching television, and that does not even count the internet use. Who is teaching our children?

Coltons Point Lighthouse

We've poked a little fun in the CP Times at the Million Dollar Lighthouse at Bailey's but this picture shows the real deal as 15 year resident Marie Guidry walks the foundation of the original Lighthouse at St. Clement's Island that is being rebuilt. More later on that exceptional project but it's rather obvious it is in need of substantial repairs.

Catholics Finally Arrive

About 372 years ago the Catholics first landed at St. Clement's Island and refused to come to the Point. Now almost 400 years later, they have finally arrived as the flock of Flying Nuns can be seen above floating past the Museum.

The Guardians of Coltons Point

Holly, the Queen of Coltons Point, was abandoned over 5 years ago and has been raised by the Pointers ever since. While she floats from house to house she has a warm greeting for all the residents and a sharp bark for all strangers. If you hear this Golden Retreiver at night it will be to drive away any intruders, aliens, skunks, foxes or politicians.


Like any veteran of the Point, and she has lived here all her life, she is a waterman prepared to jump in at a moments notice to save someone, cool down, fish or enjoy a nice swim.


Coolin, formally known as CuChulainn Deo Irie, (the Warrior Dog of Ireland), is a classic Irish Wolfhound measuring 41 inches at the shoulders and 7 foot 3 inches from nose to tail. Known as the Gentle Giant, intruders of any size and shape better beware. Every day Coolin makes the rounds of the Point checking for strange scents and visiting our senior citizens to make sure they are alright.

Images of Coltons Point

Things Pointers do at the Point

Play football

Ride Bikes


Punch Out Someone

Professor Ray Lands in Iran

No he is not the Absent Minded Professor who got lost on his way to class at the University of Maryland. Maybe President Bush and his Administration can’t talk to Iran but Professor Ray, our Premiere Point Professor sure can as he is now in his second of four days of speaking in Tehran, which is the mangled star on the map close to the Caspian Sea. He is the designated Ambassador from Coltons Point to Iran.

Of course we may not know how it went until he gets safely to Beijing, China. Beijing is the big black cross on the map of China. What was that you might ask? How could he be safe in Red China? Well the Professor loves Chinese cooking, speaks a little Chinese, and is busy setting up a school of journalism over there so those Communists can figure out what is wrong with the American media. He’s our Ambassador to China as well.

Stay tuned for more reports on the Big Adventure of Professor Ray if he can find internet access in Iran and China or his wife Sheila perfects the telepathic communication technique in time.

Coltons Teenage Love Birds Reach 25th Plateau

Believe it or not the percentage of high school lovers who marry and get divorced is well over 50% but we have a couple who have beaten the odds in more ways than one. Colorado Chris and Sweet Sue, high school sweethearts in Arizona have just reached their 25th year of marriage, a significant achievement you should not underestimate.

Did you know only 1/3 of married couples reach their 25th anniversary, and only 20% reach their 35th anniversary? I’d make a big deal out of the 50th anniversary which is reached by only 5% of married couples but the primary cause of not reaching it is far more permanent than divorce like the others.

Colorado Chris, a native Pointer, can trace his local roots back to about the beginning of settling the area. Sweet Sue on the other hand, being from Arizona and all, seemed to appear without a trace out there in the desert just in time to capture the heart of our Maryland transplant in high school.

They married, moved to Texas, started their own empire, moved back to Maryland with the business to employ all the relatives, got a place in Colorado to go hide, and lo and behold Chris is now back in the Point where he began.

It was a nice anniversary according to reports leaked to the media except for the little incident with the earrings Colorado so painstakingly picked out. Seems the pierced earrings came with their own security system to prevent being ripped from the ears or something by thieves. There was a locking device on the thing that pokes through the ear.

Try as they might they could not figure out how to get them to release so until Sweet Sue gets to the jeweler to have her earrings unlocked don’t be surprised if on a sunny day you see the reflection of a spectrum of brilliant colors bouncing along Beach Road as she walks her dog Kahlua.

Have a great 25th anniversary year and may you reach the 5% club.

Coltons Critic's Corner

People swarming to get to art show

Went to the Art Show for Sassy Sharon and the Wolf Woman and I’m beginning to develop an appreciation for the finer aspects of fine art. The lines waiting to get in to the Left Bank studio were so long I had to wait until later to see the stuff but it was the best time to arrive as the guests and artists had been busy sipping a few bottles of wine to their success.

Now you may question my qualifications as an art critic in as much as I was the guy in 5th grade who took 8 bars of soap and carved them into nothing before I figured out I was not intended to be an artist. I only passed the soap carving test because I took the 9th bar, shaved off the corners, and called it a bear in hibernation.

But I’ve learned a lot since then. Like most artists are oddballs and the Coltons Point artists colony is no exception. Sassy gave me a hyper speed education in art appreciation as a means of explaining her penchant for abstract expressionism. I told her it reminded me of the graffiti I used to see in the NYC subways.

When I asked what she was saying in her paintings she nearly tore my head off saying something like abstract art is whatever you want it to be and if you don’t see anything in it you must be stupid, brainless, or a Republican. I asked why she didn’t say I was insane and she said "they" would understand the paintings.

So I looked up abstract expressionism in Webster's and it said, “a post-World War II m0vement in painting characterized by emphasis on the artist’s spontaneous and self-expressive application of paint in creating a nonrepresentational composition.” What? An artist’s nonrepresentational composition? Isn’t that the same abstract expressionism technique the politicians use in Washington, D.C.?

I wonder if abstract expressionism is an artistic style or a mental disease? Either way it makes for some interesting things on the wall. Now Sassy is a quite gifted sculpture and in these works the abstract part is subdued for the most part. I did see a little of it in the Lincoln bust as part of his head seemed to be missing. Until I understood abstract work I would have thought the statute had been dropped before it was fired in the oven or the fuse blew halfway through the drying process kind of like bread that is taken out of the oven before it finishes rising.

Wolf Woman was also on exhibit and her stuff I could understand a little better except for the prices which were the steal of the century for an art show. I tried to interview her but she just seemed to laugh at all my questions and then I met her husband, Wolf Man, and I understood. Even the little Wolfette was there to support her mum, though she was anxiously awaiting the chance to go out with her friends.

While the charter plane from the UK that I was expecting didn’t make it as the weather was a bit nasty two old friends from the Point, Rosemary and Diane, from my Bald Eagle swimming days, did make it. They hopped into their cute little RV and made an 8 hour trip down from their witness relocation site up north near the Canadian border. They certainly traveled the farthest to support their friends in the Point. Once a Pointer always a Pointer.

Many of the Pointers did show up when they heard there were free drinks and snacks and a good time was had by all. For those who didn’t show up and had no excuse, well, you missed a chance to meet your neighbors, share a few laughs, and check out some mighty fine pieces of clay and genuine abstract graffiti.

Do You Trust the Weatherman?

This has been a banner year for the weatherman, both locally and nationally, as they have finally demonstrated beyond doubt that weather reports are pure hogwash. Even the dumbest amongst us could match the success of the weather reports with a bottle of White Lightning and a dart board.

Ever since the television networks decided to make weathermen or women celebrities the quality of the reports has gone downhill, you might say they washed away with the latest unpredicted rain storm. About all we can really expect from the weatherman is they might know what is going on outside their studio at the time of their report if they take time to look out the window.

American productivity has decreased because of their constant warnings of another hurricane, or tropical storm, floods, high winds, lightning storms or whatever. Once they realized if they sensationalize the weather with dire predictions and warnings they could get more air time with the constant updates. But now these characters have cried wolf so many times their credibility is shot.

Tens of millions of dollars have been spent on satellites, weather stations and computer modeling and the result is a much faster and more graphic way of making mistakes. People are glued to the latest storm warnings when they should be out working or getting the eggs from the chicken pen.

Grocery stores and oil companies should name weathermen heroes since sales spike as a result of the multitude of mistaken warnings. Wrong weather reports mean more to grocery and gasoline sales than the needs of the family blowing the money while waiting in lines.

Lost productivity, line rage, price gouging, increased tension, cancelled outings, closed schools are all the direct result of the miscues from the weatherman. Why doesn’t a weatherman ever say they simply don’t know what is going to happen, or is the truth that hard to bear?

The last reliable weather reports came from George Carlin when he did the “Hippy Dippy Weatherman” routine stoned, because his reports, though they were the same every night in every venue he appeared, were always right. There will be light followed by dark. It may or may not rain.

I say put the satellite picture on the screen and silence the weathermen. Let us decide what the pictures mean since the experts have no idea. When they tell us we are going to have the worst hurricane season ever, land prices drop along the water, gas prices go up for fear of refinery damage, and people live on edge. Weathermen are a major disruptive force in America. Since there were no hurricanes to hit the USA this year it means they were not wrong once but over and over since about eight major storms were supposed to hit.

Make them personally liable for the billions of dollars they cost us in erroneous forecasts. Throw them off the air. Better yet, use them for a lightning rod in a thunderstorm and let them see how it feels messing with the public. But for Pete’s sake do not take them serious. The so called meteorologists with their weather bugs and space age technology should use their heads, not their machines and models, and if they do they will get out of the weather business.

Speaker Nixes Intelligence Choices

Nancy Pelosi, new House Speaker and our favorite Maryland woman representing California in Congress has jumped into another controversy with her appointment of a Chairman for the House Intelligence Committee.

This is the most sensitive appointment in Congress with access to all our nation’s top secrets. Normally it is based on seniority in Congress but prior to 911 the Democrats seem to have lost sight of that.

Rep Jane Harmon, California, the senior Democrat on the Committee and normally next in line for Chairperson, was promised the top Intelligence post by the Democrats when she ran for Congress after losing the California Governors race. Nancy does not like her.

Second ranking Rep Alcee Hastings, a Florida Black backed by the Black Caucus was impeached by the House in 1988 resulting from FBI bribery sting. So he was thrown out of office as a judge and won a seat to Congress. Nancy doesn’t like him either.

So her top two Democratic choices for the nation’s most sensitive Committee Chairmanship were a loser in the governor’s race and an impeached judge. What in the world is congress thinking or at least the Democratic leadership? Can’t say as if I blame Nancy. At least this time she’s not backing someone who was involved in a scandal.

Fisticuffs Come To Nation’s Capitol

It’s good to know that the metro area will be represented in the US Senate by a thug who is bound to get things done the old fashioned way. Seems newly elected Virginia Democrat Jim Webb ran into President Bush at a State Dinner and was asked by the President how his son was doing in Iraq.

Webb apparently doesn’t realize the campaign is over and responded he wants to see his son brought home and the President replied I didn’t ask you that, I asked how your son was doing.

Webb was so angered to be rebuked for not answering according to one of his aides he had to resist slugging the President at the State Dinner hosted by the President. Now the fact the Webb aide had to make a big deal out of Webb almost slugging the Commander in Chief says very little for the character or temper of the newly elected thug from Virginia.

St.Clement's Island Museum

Museums are generally filled with the dead and for the living, but that doesn’t make the head of the museum a Deadhead. No, they are a hard working type dedicated to preserving our past so the future folks will know from whence we came.

The St. Clements Island museum, honoring the first landing of settlers in Maryland way back in 1634, has the daunting task of working to preserve history in an area with Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Annapolis and other wealthy and populated locales all with their own history to tout. Yet we are the oldest of all of them in terms of historical significance and the only one smart enough to locate in Coltons Point.

Sheila Gibbons Hiebert is President of the Museum and we hope she will contribute articles to the Coltons Point Times about the museum and our history if she ever gets time to catch her breath. In the meantime you can all help us get noticed by contributing to the museum Annual Appeal drive. Drop off all the money you can muster for a worthy cause.

I want to suggest the museum sponsor a Great River Raft Race Regatta as a fund raiser and the on shore celebration would draw participants, fans, tourists, and media to the museum, making the Bailey’s very happy. It might also mean there would be no bombing of the fish by the Navy for a day. Think about it.

Campaign Reform – Real or a Steal

Campaign reform Washington, D.C. style is a joke. There is no difference between either party when it comes to reforming a system designed to protect the strong and reward the rich. Both have given token support to reform while working in earnest to defeat it. Yet it could be the most important initiative Congress and the president could finally address.

I believe it must start long before the elections. Under our constitution everyone is equal, or at least assured equal opportunity. Why are they not equal in politics? More than half of the Americans of voting age are not even registered to vote. Yet voting should not be a bureaucratic privilege, a reward for those willing to go through the nonsense to prove they are able to vote by registering. Why not give everyone the right to vote when they turn 18 years old period?

This could work if we also corrected a few flaws in the voting system. For instance many people don’t register for two reasons. First they are not drawn to the two political parties yet they are penalized for being an independent in many states. Second they resent that voter registration lists are used for jury duty pools, and are sold to the political parties and subject to aggressive political direct marketing throughout the year.

As for the first concern, let everyone be an independent on the rolls, and let them declare for a party ballot when they go in to vote in the primary, whichever party they choose to support. In this way candidates would not be inclined to give a different pitch in the primary than in the general election just to appease the party activists.

If everyone were a legal voter the jury pool would be vastly expanded reducing the times one might get called. This would address part of the second concern. If the finance reforms I propose later are adopted it would not matter if the parties had the voter lists for much of the frenzy of direct solicitation now is for money to pay for advertising. Of course some meaningful legal reforms might eliminate much of the unnecessary litigation that already clogs up our system and forces a need for all those jurors.

Voting is a right and a responsibility. Our democratic system claims to be the world model for democratic government of the people and by the people, yet half the people do not even participate. Isn’t it about time we finally give that right to all the citizens?

Political commercials should be banned period. They are the most costly element of campaigns, the largest waste of money. They are intrusive and often stretch the truth. It is impossible to tell whether candidates, political parties or special interest groups aligned with either candidate are behind this extravaganza.

The government owns the airways so the government can ban political ads from television and radio. As a condition for licensing and renewals of the TV and radio stations, require them to set aside a very limited amount of time for messages from the candidates. Any other coverage must come from news coverage, not paid advertising, and that means the candidates better say something meaningful to get coverage.

Campaign budgets for paid advertising dwarf all other costs, and the cost of raising money to pay for ads is often the second most expensive cost. Eliminate all paid political ads and you save over two-thirds of the costs of most campaigns. Hundreds of millions of dollars could be saved in an election cycle. There is the added benefit of clearing the TV screen of the political blitz. No one believes them anyway, so why allow them?

Voter participation is yet another valid and neglected concern. Only half the people are registered to vote, but often times only about half of those registered even bother to vote. Thus, American democracy may well be based on the consensus of less than one fourth of all eligible voters, hardly a viable democracy model for the world.

How do we get them to vote? First, we make primary election day a paid statewide holiday in each state the day of the vote. No one would have an excuse for not being able to vote. The general election day in November would be a national holiday, an American holiday to celebrate our freedom and democracy, as in the Constitution and Bill of Rights, something we oddly don’t celebrate already. We celebrate wars, birthdays, holidays and revolutionaries declaring independence, but don’t honor the very foundation of our democracy left us by our founding fathers in these timeless documents.

We can straighten out the mess, we can clean up the airways and we can have participatory democracy if we have courage to demand accountability from our leaders and throw them out when they fail to deliver. That is what democracy is supposed to be all about. Ask your Senators and Congressmen to support these changes and see how they respond. Write, call, email and challenge them to deliver. Remember your rights and remember your responsibilities.

By Jim Putnam

About the author:

He has been active in 32 campaigns encompassing local, state, governors, congress, senate and presidential races. He worked for the executive and legislative branches at the state and federal level and even drafted opinions for Supreme Court justices in the judiciary.

Serving in such capacities as chief of staff, communications director, and assistant state treasurer he has experienced government at all levels (mayors, governors & presidents) and all branches. Yet he also played many roles in campaigns including managing US senate and house races and media in presidential campaigns.

Having worked for prominent Republicans, Democrats and Independents he also served as the Deputy Arrangements Chairman for the 1972 Republican National Convention in the most dominant presidential victory in our nation’s history.

News from Around the World

Normally there is little news to report and that is probably a good thing as most of it is far too serious to review in detail but conditions in the world are such that we need to touch on them to warn you if nothing else.

Black Friday & Cyber Monday

If you followed the news you would think Americans blew their budgets on these two high volume holiday sales days. Black Friday saw about $15 billion spent at retail and online while Cyber Monday recorded $600-625 million in all probability. Expect online sales to peak about December 12 at about $685-700 million and the total holiday spending online to be about $27 billion. All holiday spending this year is expected to be about $457 billion.

For comparison purposes, in four years the US government has spent a total of about $350 billion for the war in Iraq. In other words, if everyone would give up their holiday spending for one year and give it to the Defense Department, we could finance the Iraq war tax free for the next five years. All we are asking is you give up your holiday gifts for one year to help balance the federal budget.

The Middle East Revisited
In earlier stories I mentioned the biggest loser of the elections may be Israel if the Democrats didn’t lie and actually pull our troops out of Iraq regardless of the consequences. Three civil wars are ready to explode in Iraq, Lebanon and Palestine and it may not matter what the USA does in Iraq.

If the Democrats do bring home the troops, for sure the bloodshed will intensify and in the end the fundamental Muslims will probably win since death and human sacrifice is acceptable to them. Hard line Muslims in Iran, Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan and other Middle East nations will be aligned with the civil wars and will embrace the winners and then all of them will most likely turn their attention to the underlying cause affecting everything they do in the Middle East, the destruction of Israel.

Oh yes, the Democrats may very well pull us out of Iraq, but before the blood has finished flowing we may find ourselves in a far more dangerous quagmire of being the last line of defense for Israel against all of the Arab world with no support from our long standing world allies. We shall see.

Our current Administration has misjudged the situation just as practically every Administration has. There is nothing current about the tragic events in the Middle East wars as religious warfare and persecution have been an integral part of Middle East history since the beginning of recorded time.

I suppose the lines are rather blurred between religious versus cultural wars but the result is the same. In the name of God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah or Mohammad prejudice thrives, hatred dominates, tolerance is non-existent and fear is instilled by all sides. Short of civil war, continued genocide and the ever-present prospect of World War III, some form of Divine intervention may be the only thing left between self-destruction and salvation.

Campaign Reform in America

A second issue of note is campaign reform and ethics in government as they have been promised by both parties during the last election. The true test of the effectiveness of elected officials and their representation of the people is the progress being made toward meaningful campaign reform. Make no mistake, lies dominate this issue from the mouths of Republicans, Democrats, House members, Senators, presidents, governors and a host of state and local elected officials.

The record, individually and collectively, is the most pitiful example of political double talk and double crossing in our history. Joe Six Pack, the average American citizen, has been sold a bill of goods and conditioned to accept those tarnished goods by the politicians, the media, special interests, corporations, unions and everyone else who benefits from maintaining the status quo.

Greed rules the financial world of Wall Street, the political world of our nation’s capital, the advertising world of Madison Avenue, the entertainment world of Hollywood, and just about every place of consequence in between. So what are we to do? Sit back and watch? Act as if nothing is wrong? Pray? I say information is knowledge, knowledge can lead to wisdom, and wisdom can give us the creative energy needed to survive in spite of the system.

In the days ahead I will give you information to illustrate the flaws with our so called reform efforts and point out very practical ways to give us meaningful reform. What you do with the information is up to you.

More Reader Comments:

Haughty Helen Sets the Record Straight
Haughty Helen has written to inform us quite politely that regarding her Checkered future she personally prefers the Big Buford, not the Steakhouse Burger as we implied. Now if that doesn’t mean anything to you obviously you haven’t been to the Checkered/Rally Burger joints around here so you be the judge, here are the two burgers.

Steakhouse Double Cheddarburger
The Steakhouse Burger is a Double Cheddarburger complemented with A.1. Steak Sauce, bacon, lettuce, pickles and onions on a toasted sesame bun.

Big Buford (Haughty Helen’s fav)
This signature burger is two juicy, all-beef patties and two slices of American cheese on a toasted bun. It’s loaded with mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, onions, crisp lettuce, tomatoes and mustard.

Upset but silent
Some CPT readers, or former readers, have been reported as upset with some of the rather endearing descriptions of the local characters in the Times. We try very hard to be as irreverent as possible and make no claims that we can portray people accurately when it comes to the degree of dumbness, corniness, oddness, ordinariness or any other characteristic as the Pointers are in a league of their own. Our hope is that a sense of humor and appreciation of literary satire will allow people to enjoy the Times. Get your serious stuff from the self-proclaimed media gurus, religious fanatics, and others getting paid big bucks to brainwash an unsuspecting public.


In Search of the Mysterious Ink Spots
Inky has challenged the Times to discover the secret places she goes to during her extended walks around the Point so we are asking the help of readers to identify the mysterious Ink Spots frequented by Inky.


Local celebrity Update
A hearty holiday welcome home goes to a couple of hearty babes from the Point as recently Nancy by the Beach got a pacemaker and Hotrod Hammett got herself a triple bypass. Hospitals sent them home in record time as they were driving the staff crazy.


John Wilkes Booth Sightings
We are updating our burgeoning file with reported sightings of the ghost of John Wilkes Booth walking the highways and byways of the Point. Seems Dogman might not be the only one to witness the chilling apparition. If you have information on the whereabouts of the Ghost of John Wilkes Booth or have experienced sightings in the fog let us know. A full blown tourist promotional campaign is being planned for the spring by the Diner gang.

ASTONISHING PARANORMAL DISCOVERY

COLTONS POINT MYSTERY REVEALED
BONAFIDE GHOST CONFIRMED

After years of reported sightings and strange goings on a team of researchers with the aid of a local paranormal investigator have confirmed the existence and identity of the shadowy apparition that has been haunting Coltons Point since the mid 19th century.

This story would be highly suspect were it not for the involvement of Dogman Joe, the greatest cynic in Maryland history, a man who doubts anything and everything he does not personally experience. Just last Monday Dogman was driving his Ford down 242 in the evening and he caught a glimpse of a mysterious man standing along the road where 242 and Muddy Creek Road cross.

Glancing in the rear view mirror he could see in the dark that the man was bearded, his hair and beard were disheveled from the wind swept rain, and he stood in a long brown top coat at the side of the road. Concerned about the safety of this poor gentleman Dogman pulled to a stop to back up and offer him a ride. When he threw the Ford into reverse and started back up the road the man was gone.

Dogman backed up the truck to the exact location of the sighting and searched the woods on either side of the road. No footprints and no man, he vanished without a trace. But the seasoned old codger did feel a strange chill in the air and the hair on the back of his neck stood straight up. It was a sense of fear he hadn’t felt since being shot at by his future father-in-law when his wife-to-be was just a young un in school.

When a no nonsense man comes to you with such a chilling tale you have no choice but to take it very seriously and that we did here at the CPT. First we enlisted the aid of a sketch artist to recreate the face and then we approached the top scientific facility in the USA to investigate the claim, the Duke University Paranormal Evaluation Department (DUPED).

The findings are in and they are astonishing. The stranger was identified by historical research, by matching the artists sketch, and by the exceptional body of available information from every police and federal investigative service in existence, something never experienced in previous reports of this nature.




The Ghost haunting Coltons Point, the one documented by Dogman Joe, is none other than John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of President Abraham Lincoln. After the murder on April 14, 1865 Booth disappeared into Maryland and was tracked to Dr. Mudd’s home where his leg was treated the next day, a home just up the road from Coltons Point. From April 16-22 Booth was in disguise and disappeared into the woods of Maryland, less than 10 miles from the Point.

If you wanted to vanish in Maryland there is no better place than Coltons Point and we discovered Booth was waiting for a ship from England to land and take him to Europe where he would be a celebrated hero. Unfortunately for him, this English ship had as much luck landing at the Point as the previous English landing in 1634. Eventually Booth made his way to Virginia and was caught trying to reach a more favorable landing site.

So you be the judge of this stranger than life coincidence. Check out the sketch of the ghost. Look at the map compiled by the National Park Service tracing Booth’s flight after assassinating the President. And consider this, he fled to Maryland to be treated by Dr. Mudd, and the sighting was at Muddy Creek Road.



Analysis indicates Booth came back to haunt the Point since the treacherous waters of the Potomac at Coltons Point prevented him from being rescued by the English ship. If only the Bailey’s million dollar lighthouse were there history might have been very different. Be prepared for a tourist invasion in search of the ghost of John Wilkes Booth and keep an eye out for the long haired bearded and disheveled man in the long brown top coat still hiding in the Point.

Our next paranormal investigation will focus on the potential new shrine at the Point, the Arrow Beer Bar, where the image of the Holy Mother Mary was discovered in the mold on top of the potato chip dip from the Potomac Gardens Store.

Holiday Hints from Hillbilly Joe

To properly prepare you for the holidays we asked our resident holiday specialist for some hints on how the have the best holiday possible. Hillbilly Joe was gracious enough to offer his tips for the Holiday Hints.

Don’t ever piss off your mama at holiday time, especially is she is a good cook.
Before accepting any holiday invitations ask for the menu.
Eat the turkey, don’t be one.
Always place yourself strategically under the mistletoe and hope for the best.
Always sing Christmas carols in a crowd so you can mouth the words and no one will notice.
Send cards to anyone who has something you need.
Don’t ever try and have a bigger Santa and Snowman than Hillbilly Joe.
Save any bells you get for gifts and don’t want for Hillbilly’s mama’s bell collection.
Eggnog without booze is like a Steakburger without meat.
Never eat yellow snow.