Putin in Fishy Tales of Pikes and Pretzels

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Apparently Russia is suffering from the same problem as America, there just isn't much good to talk about at the moment.  During times like these the ever-present news media are forced to turn their attention to the most trivial and meaningless of all possible stories, something they are quite adept at here in America.

The latest news from Russia is a fishy tale about some giant Pike caught by the fearless sportsman Vladimer Putin.  Here is how the story played in the American media after an international investigation of the facts.

Bloomberg View

 

By Leonid Bershidsky Jul 29, 2013 6:03 PM ET

Putin’s Big Fish Story Leaves Russians in Doubt

 

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s bizarre displays of machismo may get more laughs than his efforts at humor. That, at least, was the case with the giant pike that Putin supposedly hooked in the remote Siberian region of Tuva.

 

 

On July 26, the Kremlin released a video of Putin pulling a large pike out of a lake, lifting it by the gills and tenderly kissing it on the cheek. Presidential press secretary Dmitri Peskov had a whole story to tell the public about the catch.

 

According to Peskov, for a long time Putin had no luck at Lake Tokpak-Khol in a remote corner of Tuva, bordering on Mongolia. Then a gamekeeper suggested he use a locally made spoon lure called the Czar Fish, and it worked a small miracle.

 

The gamekeeper “said he had never seen anything like it,” Peskov said. “Putin caught a pike that weighed more than 21 kilograms. It took him 30 minutes to pull it out.” As Putin lifted his catch out of the water with a hoop net, the gamekeeper cautioned him that the pike could bite. “I’ll bite it myself,” Putin quipped, according to Peskov.

 

 

That may explain the kiss in the video. Peskov said the pike was made into a delicious meal.

 

The fish story is clearly aimed at bolstering Putin’s support in a country with an estimated 25 million fishing enthusiasts. It could also easily backfire.

 

Popular blogger Andrei Malgin published a mini-investigation of Putin’s fishing vacation. Pointing out that the trip wasn’t on the president’s official schedule, Malgin dug up old photographs from previous Putin trips to Tuva that he claimed looked remarkably similar to the newly released pictures.

 

“Doesn’t it look to you as if we are being fed canned food stored up some years ago?” Malgin asked his readers.

 

 

Others agreed, pointing out similar details of his outfit. “What if Putin has been dead for years and we don’t know?” one reader wrote in the comments. Other bloggers noted that Putin is wearing a watch that looks exactly like the one he gave to a gamekeeper during a previous vacation.

 

“The clothes are new, and the watch is exactly like the one he had back then,” Peskov responded. “He gave away the original watch and then bought exactly the same kind for himself because he is attached to it.”

 

On the clothing and the watch, it was Malgin’s word against Peskov’s: The press had not been invited for the unscheduled Tuva trip.

 

The giant pike was another matter. Experienced fishermen, even those sympathetic to Putin, simply could not believe it actually weighed 21 kilos -- about 46 pounds.

 

“Here’s what I think about the pike,” pro-Kremlin columnist Maxim Kononenko wrote in his blog. “Any fisherman can see that it simply cannot weigh 21 kilograms. For one thing, fish of that size are extremely rare. For another, it would be up to two meters (6’6”) long and you’d be able to fit a bucket in its mouth.” Kononenko suggested that the scale used to weigh the fish was marked in pounds rather than kilograms. If it read 21, that would mean the pike actually weighed about 9.5 kilograms.

 

Alfred Kokh, a deputy prime minister under President Boris Yeltsin, took a more scientific approach. “Putin’s height is 175 centimeters maximum,” he wrote on Facebook. “Approximating the pike to a cylinder with a diameter of 10 centimeters and a length of 120 centimeters -- a complimentary assumption -- we calculate the volume of the pike to be 9420 cubic centimeters, or roughly 10 liters.”

 

Kokh’s post received almost 1,500 likes. Again, Peskov had to defend the president. “I was especially amazed at blogger Kokh, who, if I am not mistaken, wrote that the fish could not have weighed 20 kilograms,” he told the Russian News Service. “I was personally present at the weighing, I saw the scale, and it really was over 20 kilos.”

 

By then, the fish’s size and the circumstances of its capture hardly mattered: The Kremlin was on the defensive. In 2013, Putin is no longer a recent underdog turned national leader. He is a dictator who has been in power for 13 years, and at least as many people mock him as admire him. He needs a change of public relations strategy no less than his country needs some change at the top.

 

(Leonid Bershidsky, an editor and novelist, is Moscow correspondent for World View.)

 

This is what we at the Coltons Point Times believe really happened.  It's true Putin was fishing.

 

 

Then he saw something off to his side and checked it out.

 

 

This is what he saw.

 

 

Thus the source of the monster pike.

 

Or perhaps it went something like this.  Putin decided to try out a new weapon as he is really in to weapons like Obama is in to golf.

 

 

He then took it for a ride.

 

 

He thought he saw a dangerous intruder to his water space and immediately armed the weapon and fired.

 

 

 

He blew away the Pike but to conceal the secret weapon he said he caught it.

 

Deep in the bowels of Russian Intelligence we found other photos of Putin catches to be used in future slow news days.

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 



Then there is the Pretzel.

 

As for the Pretzel element of the story, just look at this rhythmic gymnast and tell us she does not remind you of a contorted pretzel.  Bodies are not meant to bend like this.  However, in this case the pictures are true and the body belongs to Russian gymnastic superstar Alina Kabayeva.

 

 

This rumour may just be true, that President Putin has found his match for a potential mate with the beautiful Alina Kabayeva, a 30 year old gymnast who is rumoured to have had an affair with the Prez.

 

 

In typical Russian fashion she has broken her silence to say she will not talk about her private life, in her first interview since the Russian president divorced his wife.  Only in Russia do you give an interview to tell the media you won't talk to them about what they want to talk about.

 

 

This 30 year old beauty seems to have the physical assets to keep up with our favorite Action Hero, the Russian president.  Kabayeva is Russia's second most successful rhythmic gymnast after Evgenia Kanaeva and is one of the most decorated gymnasts in the history of rhythmic gymnastics earning two Olympic medals, 14 world championship medals and 25 European championship medals.

 

 

We do not know if she is a fisherman however.

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Rio de Janeiro Welcomes Papa Francesco & 3 million Youth to Copacabana Beach Mass

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Under the ever watchful eye of the Christ the Redeemer statue looking down from the mountains surrounding Rio de Janeiro Papa Francesco, Pope Francis, ended World Youth Day with over 3 million of the faithful on the Copacabana Beach.

 

As far as the eye could see there was a mass of humanity, many who camped out on the beach overnight to share this moment with Papa.

 

 

Finally even the western media in the US had to cover the story, I mean three million peaceful people in one place is quite a story in this day and age.  The fact the vast majority were youth makes it a better story.

 

Here in America we get a daily dosage of money, murder, drugs and demons it seems but during his stay in Brazil the past few days  the Pope actually defined the false gods of today and told the youth they must work to stop edifying such idols of evil.

 

 

Pope Francis led his first large mass on Wednesday since returning to his native Latin America, decrying "ephemeral idols" like money and power at Brazil's most revered shrine.

 

"It is true that nowadays, to some extent, everyone, including our young people, feels attracted by the many idols which take the place of God and appear to offer hope: money, success, power, pleasure," he said at the Shrine of Our Lady of Aparecida basilica.

 

 

"Often a growing sense of loneliness and emptiness in the hearts of many people leads them to seek satisfaction in these ephemeral idols," he said.

 

 

In a meeting with bishops and cardinals from South America he talked about the loss of Catholics in Brazil.

"At times we lose people because they don't understand what we are saying, because we have forgotten the language of simplicity and import an intellectualism foreign to our people," he said. "For ordinary people the mystery enters through the heart."

The pope also warned the bishops against assimilating fashionable values of secular culture.

"People today are attracted by things that are faster and faster: rapid Internet connections, speedy cars and planes, instant relationships," he asked. "Is the church herself caught up in the frantic pursuit of efficiency? Dear brothers, let us recover the calm to be able to walk at the same pace as our pilgrims, keeping alongside them, remaining close to them, enabling them to speak of the disappointments present in their hearts and to let us address them."

Among the pope's specific recommendations for the church in Brazil were deeper engagement by bishops in national debates on such "pressing concerns" as "education, health and social harmony"; and more attention to collegiality within the episcopate, downplaying "central bureaucracy" in favor of "local and regional elements."

He gave special attention to the needs of the Amazon basin, in terms of both ecological protection and the training of indigenous clergy to serve indigenous peoples there.

"'Pastoral care' is nothing other than the exercise of the church's motherhood," the pope said. "She gives birth, suckles, gives growth, corrects, nourishes and leads by the hand.

"So we need a church capable of rediscovering the maternal womb of mercy," he said. "Without mercy we have little chance nowadays of becoming part of a world of 'wounded' persons in need of understanding, forgiveness and love."
 

Pope Francis told leading Latin American bishops that all Catholics must renew the Church with a “missionary spirit,” acknowledging that he and other bishops are “lagging somewhat” in spiritual renewal.

 

“Bishops must be pastors, close to people, fathers and brothers, and gentle, patient and merciful. Men who love poverty,” the Pope said.

 

He praised bishops with “simplicity and austerity of life,” urging them not to act like “princes” or to be “ambitious” in seeking to lead another diocese.

 

Rather, bishops should be “pointing the way” for their people, preventing them from “being scattered” while “ensuring that no one is left behind.” They should be men capable of guarding and protecting their congregation while also instilling hope “so that light will shine in people’s hearts,” the Pope said July 28.

 

 

The Pope criticized pastoral plans that “clearly lack nearness, tenderness, a warm touch” and are incapable of sparking “an encounter with Jesus Christ” and with other people.

 

“Christ’s followers are not individuals caught up in a privatized spirituality, but persons in community, devoting themselves to others,” the Pope said.

 

Pope Francis focused on two challenges to missionary discipleship: the “inner renewal” of the Church and dialogue with the world. He noted the Second Vatican Council’s guidance in engaging modern life.

 

“Responding to the existential issues of people today, especially the young, listening to the language they speak, can lead to a fruitful change, which must take place with the help of the Gospel, the magisterium, and the Church’s social doctrine,” the Pope said.

 

 

He noted the need to engage the many subcultures of the modern city on their own terms.

 

“If we remain within the parameters of our ‘traditional culture,’ which was essentially rural, we will end up nullifying the power of the Holy Spirit,” he warned. “God is everywhere: we have to know how to find him in order to be able to proclaim him in the language of each and every culture; every reality, every language, has its own rhythm.”

 

Pope Francis praised the spread of Bible groups, ecclesial base communities and pastoral councils. He said these advance the responsibility of the laity and help overcome “clericalism.” He particularly praised expressions of popular piety as a “healthy thing” that shows greater lay autonomy.

 

He also warned against several temptations that are false visions of the missionary spirit.

 

He said clericalism, an excessive lay dependence on or privileging of priests, is “a temptation very present in Latin America.”

 

 

“The phenomenon of clericalism explains, in great part, the lack of maturity and Christian freedom in a good part of the Latin American laity,” he said.

 

Both laity and priests take refuge in clericalism “because it is easier,” he lamented. This causes some Catholics to fail to grow in Christian life or to take refuge in ideology.

 

The Pope warned against turning the message of the Gospel into an “ideology,” whether it is “market liberalism” or Marxism.

 

He said the psychology-focused tendencies of some spirituality courses and spiritual retreats reduce the encounter with Jesus Christ to “self-awareness,” a “self-centered approach” that “has nothing to do with the missionary spirit.” He mentioned the new age practice of the Enneagram as one example.

 

 

He criticized the “gnostic solution” of elite groups of “enlightened Catholics” who offer a “higher spirituality.” He said some advocates of ordaining nuns to the priesthood or of giving communion to the divorced and remarried fall into this error.

 

He also warned against the “Pelagian solution” that seeks a “purely disciplinary solution” through “the restoration of outdated manners and forms which, even on the cultural level, are no longer meaningful.”

 

 

Repeating his previous criticisms, he warned against reducing the Church to “the structure of an NGO” focused on quantifiable results, statistics, and a business-like organization. He said some bishops’ conferences open more and more departments that do not help the mission of Church.

 

Concerning the inner renewal of the Church, Pope Francis stressed the need for “pastoral conversion” focused on “Jesus Christ as the bearer of God’s Kingdom” and trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 

He posed many questions to the bishops for their own self-examination.

 

He said bishops should ask whether they and their priests are working to ensure that their work is “more pastoral than administrative” and whether they serve “the People of God as a whole” rather than “the Church as an organization.”

 

 

He asked the bishops to examine whether they “manipulate” or “infantilize” the laity.

 

“In practice, do we make the lay faithful sharers in the mission?” he asked.

 

He said bishops should not simply react to complex problems, but should promote opportunities to “manifest God’s mercy.”

 

The Pope concluded with an exhortation: “I beg that we take seriously our calling as servants of the holy and faithful people of God, for this is where authority is exercised and demonstrated: in the ability to serve.”

 

Pope Francis addressed the bishops hours after celebrating Sunday Mass for millions of World Youth Day pilgrims gathered on Rio’s Copacabana Beach.

 

 

In spite of security concerns Papa Francesco has safely returned to Rome.

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Pope Francis reaches Rock Star status in Historic Brazilian Gig

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1.5 million youth ignore heavy rains to rock with Pope at Copacabana beach Mass - The Man they call Papa!

 

The American media seems adverse to covering "feel good" stories but at least the rest of the world can learn with amazement the incredible journey Pope Francis is making to Brazil where millions of faithful are showing him how much they love his compassionate approach to leading the world to the light.

 

 

Check out the video from The Telegraph in the UK.  At least the rest of the world see the news value.

 

Barely a word was mentioned about the Pope's first international trip on network or cable news and that is a sad testament to the nature of stories that reach the people.  Oh our news media showed the Pope in the ghettos of Rio and tried to say the story was all about the failure of the rich to help the poor.

 

 

 

But the message had nothing to do with failure and everything to do with faith, and a Catholic Pope's plea to have faith in God and Jesus Christ is the last thing you will hear from a liberal media in America still intent on driving God from everything in our nation.

 

 

How sad but how typical.  The Pope is in South America pleading the cause for ALL poor and rich people, the need for faith in a higher cause, from a loving God, while in America our politicians are holding a Conference on Violent Crime in Chicago, where 226 deaths have rocked the local landscape already this year.

 

 

Pope Francis focuses attention on prayer and faith for all while American politicians focus attention on gangs and murder on the streets of our cities.  In Brazil 1.5 million youth, yes the same age as those in gangs and committing murder in America, joined the Pope on that rain driven beach in his journey to bring us closer to God.

 

How strange for the media to not notice such a massive movement in our Southern Hemisphere.  How odd to not cover a story that affects over 1.2 billion Catholics around the world, the largest single religious denomination in the world and in America.

 

 

When it comes to media coverage the Pope is truly a voice in the wilderness because the networks have not figured out how to make God or faith into a reality show so they can make money.

 

 

People of all faiths have a right to know there is one world leader walking the walk and talking the talk when it comes to laying his life on the line for his love of all people and belief in the power of prayer and faith.

 

 

There are rare times in the history of mankind when one solitary voice can make a difference.  Pope Francis may very well be one of those people whose genuine love, compassion and empathy for giving transcend ego, power and greed for taking.

 

 

Politicians and people from Wall Street to Main Street could benefit from his example and may very well find salvation in his gentler and kinder message.

 

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