Putin in Fishy Tales of Pikes and Pretzels

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Apparently Russia is suffering from the same problem as America, there just isn't much good to talk about at the moment.  During times like these the ever-present news media are forced to turn their attention to the most trivial and meaningless of all possible stories, something they are quite adept at here in America.

The latest news from Russia is a fishy tale about some giant Pike caught by the fearless sportsman Vladimer Putin.  Here is how the story played in the American media after an international investigation of the facts.

Bloomberg View

 

By Leonid Bershidsky Jul 29, 2013 6:03 PM ET

Putin’s Big Fish Story Leaves Russians in Doubt

 

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s bizarre displays of machismo may get more laughs than his efforts at humor. That, at least, was the case with the giant pike that Putin supposedly hooked in the remote Siberian region of Tuva.

 

 

On July 26, the Kremlin released a video of Putin pulling a large pike out of a lake, lifting it by the gills and tenderly kissing it on the cheek. Presidential press secretary Dmitri Peskov had a whole story to tell the public about the catch.

 

According to Peskov, for a long time Putin had no luck at Lake Tokpak-Khol in a remote corner of Tuva, bordering on Mongolia. Then a gamekeeper suggested he use a locally made spoon lure called the Czar Fish, and it worked a small miracle.

 

The gamekeeper “said he had never seen anything like it,” Peskov said. “Putin caught a pike that weighed more than 21 kilograms. It took him 30 minutes to pull it out.” As Putin lifted his catch out of the water with a hoop net, the gamekeeper cautioned him that the pike could bite. “I’ll bite it myself,” Putin quipped, according to Peskov.

 

 

That may explain the kiss in the video. Peskov said the pike was made into a delicious meal.

 

The fish story is clearly aimed at bolstering Putin’s support in a country with an estimated 25 million fishing enthusiasts. It could also easily backfire.

 

Popular blogger Andrei Malgin published a mini-investigation of Putin’s fishing vacation. Pointing out that the trip wasn’t on the president’s official schedule, Malgin dug up old photographs from previous Putin trips to Tuva that he claimed looked remarkably similar to the newly released pictures.

 

“Doesn’t it look to you as if we are being fed canned food stored up some years ago?” Malgin asked his readers.

 

 

Others agreed, pointing out similar details of his outfit. “What if Putin has been dead for years and we don’t know?” one reader wrote in the comments. Other bloggers noted that Putin is wearing a watch that looks exactly like the one he gave to a gamekeeper during a previous vacation.

 

“The clothes are new, and the watch is exactly like the one he had back then,” Peskov responded. “He gave away the original watch and then bought exactly the same kind for himself because he is attached to it.”

 

On the clothing and the watch, it was Malgin’s word against Peskov’s: The press had not been invited for the unscheduled Tuva trip.

 

The giant pike was another matter. Experienced fishermen, even those sympathetic to Putin, simply could not believe it actually weighed 21 kilos -- about 46 pounds.

 

“Here’s what I think about the pike,” pro-Kremlin columnist Maxim Kononenko wrote in his blog. “Any fisherman can see that it simply cannot weigh 21 kilograms. For one thing, fish of that size are extremely rare. For another, it would be up to two meters (6’6”) long and you’d be able to fit a bucket in its mouth.” Kononenko suggested that the scale used to weigh the fish was marked in pounds rather than kilograms. If it read 21, that would mean the pike actually weighed about 9.5 kilograms.

 

Alfred Kokh, a deputy prime minister under President Boris Yeltsin, took a more scientific approach. “Putin’s height is 175 centimeters maximum,” he wrote on Facebook. “Approximating the pike to a cylinder with a diameter of 10 centimeters and a length of 120 centimeters -- a complimentary assumption -- we calculate the volume of the pike to be 9420 cubic centimeters, or roughly 10 liters.”

 

Kokh’s post received almost 1,500 likes. Again, Peskov had to defend the president. “I was especially amazed at blogger Kokh, who, if I am not mistaken, wrote that the fish could not have weighed 20 kilograms,” he told the Russian News Service. “I was personally present at the weighing, I saw the scale, and it really was over 20 kilos.”

 

By then, the fish’s size and the circumstances of its capture hardly mattered: The Kremlin was on the defensive. In 2013, Putin is no longer a recent underdog turned national leader. He is a dictator who has been in power for 13 years, and at least as many people mock him as admire him. He needs a change of public relations strategy no less than his country needs some change at the top.

 

(Leonid Bershidsky, an editor and novelist, is Moscow correspondent for World View.)

 

This is what we at the Coltons Point Times believe really happened.  It's true Putin was fishing.

 

 

Then he saw something off to his side and checked it out.

 

 

This is what he saw.

 

 

Thus the source of the monster pike.

 

Or perhaps it went something like this.  Putin decided to try out a new weapon as he is really in to weapons like Obama is in to golf.

 

 

He then took it for a ride.

 

 

He thought he saw a dangerous intruder to his water space and immediately armed the weapon and fired.

 

 

 

He blew away the Pike but to conceal the secret weapon he said he caught it.

 

Deep in the bowels of Russian Intelligence we found other photos of Putin catches to be used in future slow news days.

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 



Then there is the Pretzel.

 

As for the Pretzel element of the story, just look at this rhythmic gymnast and tell us she does not remind you of a contorted pretzel.  Bodies are not meant to bend like this.  However, in this case the pictures are true and the body belongs to Russian gymnastic superstar Alina Kabayeva.

 

 

This rumour may just be true, that President Putin has found his match for a potential mate with the beautiful Alina Kabayeva, a 30 year old gymnast who is rumoured to have had an affair with the Prez.

 

 

In typical Russian fashion she has broken her silence to say she will not talk about her private life, in her first interview since the Russian president divorced his wife.  Only in Russia do you give an interview to tell the media you won't talk to them about what they want to talk about.

 

 

This 30 year old beauty seems to have the physical assets to keep up with our favorite Action Hero, the Russian president.  Kabayeva is Russia's second most successful rhythmic gymnast after Evgenia Kanaeva and is one of the most decorated gymnasts in the history of rhythmic gymnastics earning two Olympic medals, 14 world championship medals and 25 European championship medals.

 

 

We do not know if she is a fisherman however.

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Rio de Janeiro Welcomes Papa Francesco & 3 million Youth to Copacabana Beach Mass

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Under the ever watchful eye of the Christ the Redeemer statue looking down from the mountains surrounding Rio de Janeiro Papa Francesco, Pope Francis, ended World Youth Day with over 3 million of the faithful on the Copacabana Beach.

 

As far as the eye could see there was a mass of humanity, many who camped out on the beach overnight to share this moment with Papa.

 

 

Finally even the western media in the US had to cover the story, I mean three million peaceful people in one place is quite a story in this day and age.  The fact the vast majority were youth makes it a better story.

 

Here in America we get a daily dosage of money, murder, drugs and demons it seems but during his stay in Brazil the past few days  the Pope actually defined the false gods of today and told the youth they must work to stop edifying such idols of evil.

 

 

Pope Francis led his first large mass on Wednesday since returning to his native Latin America, decrying "ephemeral idols" like money and power at Brazil's most revered shrine.

 

"It is true that nowadays, to some extent, everyone, including our young people, feels attracted by the many idols which take the place of God and appear to offer hope: money, success, power, pleasure," he said at the Shrine of Our Lady of Aparecida basilica.

 

 

"Often a growing sense of loneliness and emptiness in the hearts of many people leads them to seek satisfaction in these ephemeral idols," he said.

 

 

In a meeting with bishops and cardinals from South America he talked about the loss of Catholics in Brazil.

"At times we lose people because they don't understand what we are saying, because we have forgotten the language of simplicity and import an intellectualism foreign to our people," he said. "For ordinary people the mystery enters through the heart."

The pope also warned the bishops against assimilating fashionable values of secular culture.

"People today are attracted by things that are faster and faster: rapid Internet connections, speedy cars and planes, instant relationships," he asked. "Is the church herself caught up in the frantic pursuit of efficiency? Dear brothers, let us recover the calm to be able to walk at the same pace as our pilgrims, keeping alongside them, remaining close to them, enabling them to speak of the disappointments present in their hearts and to let us address them."

Among the pope's specific recommendations for the church in Brazil were deeper engagement by bishops in national debates on such "pressing concerns" as "education, health and social harmony"; and more attention to collegiality within the episcopate, downplaying "central bureaucracy" in favor of "local and regional elements."

He gave special attention to the needs of the Amazon basin, in terms of both ecological protection and the training of indigenous clergy to serve indigenous peoples there.

"'Pastoral care' is nothing other than the exercise of the church's motherhood," the pope said. "She gives birth, suckles, gives growth, corrects, nourishes and leads by the hand.

"So we need a church capable of rediscovering the maternal womb of mercy," he said. "Without mercy we have little chance nowadays of becoming part of a world of 'wounded' persons in need of understanding, forgiveness and love."
 

Pope Francis told leading Latin American bishops that all Catholics must renew the Church with a “missionary spirit,” acknowledging that he and other bishops are “lagging somewhat” in spiritual renewal.

 

“Bishops must be pastors, close to people, fathers and brothers, and gentle, patient and merciful. Men who love poverty,” the Pope said.

 

He praised bishops with “simplicity and austerity of life,” urging them not to act like “princes” or to be “ambitious” in seeking to lead another diocese.

 

Rather, bishops should be “pointing the way” for their people, preventing them from “being scattered” while “ensuring that no one is left behind.” They should be men capable of guarding and protecting their congregation while also instilling hope “so that light will shine in people’s hearts,” the Pope said July 28.

 

 

The Pope criticized pastoral plans that “clearly lack nearness, tenderness, a warm touch” and are incapable of sparking “an encounter with Jesus Christ” and with other people.

 

“Christ’s followers are not individuals caught up in a privatized spirituality, but persons in community, devoting themselves to others,” the Pope said.

 

Pope Francis focused on two challenges to missionary discipleship: the “inner renewal” of the Church and dialogue with the world. He noted the Second Vatican Council’s guidance in engaging modern life.

 

“Responding to the existential issues of people today, especially the young, listening to the language they speak, can lead to a fruitful change, which must take place with the help of the Gospel, the magisterium, and the Church’s social doctrine,” the Pope said.

 

 

He noted the need to engage the many subcultures of the modern city on their own terms.

 

“If we remain within the parameters of our ‘traditional culture,’ which was essentially rural, we will end up nullifying the power of the Holy Spirit,” he warned. “God is everywhere: we have to know how to find him in order to be able to proclaim him in the language of each and every culture; every reality, every language, has its own rhythm.”

 

Pope Francis praised the spread of Bible groups, ecclesial base communities and pastoral councils. He said these advance the responsibility of the laity and help overcome “clericalism.” He particularly praised expressions of popular piety as a “healthy thing” that shows greater lay autonomy.

 

He also warned against several temptations that are false visions of the missionary spirit.

 

He said clericalism, an excessive lay dependence on or privileging of priests, is “a temptation very present in Latin America.”

 

 

“The phenomenon of clericalism explains, in great part, the lack of maturity and Christian freedom in a good part of the Latin American laity,” he said.

 

Both laity and priests take refuge in clericalism “because it is easier,” he lamented. This causes some Catholics to fail to grow in Christian life or to take refuge in ideology.

 

The Pope warned against turning the message of the Gospel into an “ideology,” whether it is “market liberalism” or Marxism.

 

He said the psychology-focused tendencies of some spirituality courses and spiritual retreats reduce the encounter with Jesus Christ to “self-awareness,” a “self-centered approach” that “has nothing to do with the missionary spirit.” He mentioned the new age practice of the Enneagram as one example.

 

 

He criticized the “gnostic solution” of elite groups of “enlightened Catholics” who offer a “higher spirituality.” He said some advocates of ordaining nuns to the priesthood or of giving communion to the divorced and remarried fall into this error.

 

He also warned against the “Pelagian solution” that seeks a “purely disciplinary solution” through “the restoration of outdated manners and forms which, even on the cultural level, are no longer meaningful.”

 

 

Repeating his previous criticisms, he warned against reducing the Church to “the structure of an NGO” focused on quantifiable results, statistics, and a business-like organization. He said some bishops’ conferences open more and more departments that do not help the mission of Church.

 

Concerning the inner renewal of the Church, Pope Francis stressed the need for “pastoral conversion” focused on “Jesus Christ as the bearer of God’s Kingdom” and trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 

He posed many questions to the bishops for their own self-examination.

 

He said bishops should ask whether they and their priests are working to ensure that their work is “more pastoral than administrative” and whether they serve “the People of God as a whole” rather than “the Church as an organization.”

 

 

He asked the bishops to examine whether they “manipulate” or “infantilize” the laity.

 

“In practice, do we make the lay faithful sharers in the mission?” he asked.

 

He said bishops should not simply react to complex problems, but should promote opportunities to “manifest God’s mercy.”

 

The Pope concluded with an exhortation: “I beg that we take seriously our calling as servants of the holy and faithful people of God, for this is where authority is exercised and demonstrated: in the ability to serve.”

 

Pope Francis addressed the bishops hours after celebrating Sunday Mass for millions of World Youth Day pilgrims gathered on Rio’s Copacabana Beach.

 

 

In spite of security concerns Papa Francesco has safely returned to Rome.

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Pope Francis reaches Rock Star status in Historic Brazilian Gig

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1.5 million youth ignore heavy rains to rock with Pope at Copacabana beach Mass - The Man they call Papa!

 

The American media seems adverse to covering "feel good" stories but at least the rest of the world can learn with amazement the incredible journey Pope Francis is making to Brazil where millions of faithful are showing him how much they love his compassionate approach to leading the world to the light.

 

 

Check out the video from The Telegraph in the UK.  At least the rest of the world see the news value.

 

Barely a word was mentioned about the Pope's first international trip on network or cable news and that is a sad testament to the nature of stories that reach the people.  Oh our news media showed the Pope in the ghettos of Rio and tried to say the story was all about the failure of the rich to help the poor.

 

 

 

But the message had nothing to do with failure and everything to do with faith, and a Catholic Pope's plea to have faith in God and Jesus Christ is the last thing you will hear from a liberal media in America still intent on driving God from everything in our nation.

 

 

How sad but how typical.  The Pope is in South America pleading the cause for ALL poor and rich people, the need for faith in a higher cause, from a loving God, while in America our politicians are holding a Conference on Violent Crime in Chicago, where 226 deaths have rocked the local landscape already this year.

 

 

Pope Francis focuses attention on prayer and faith for all while American politicians focus attention on gangs and murder on the streets of our cities.  In Brazil 1.5 million youth, yes the same age as those in gangs and committing murder in America, joined the Pope on that rain driven beach in his journey to bring us closer to God.

 

How strange for the media to not notice such a massive movement in our Southern Hemisphere.  How odd to not cover a story that affects over 1.2 billion Catholics around the world, the largest single religious denomination in the world and in America.

 

 

When it comes to media coverage the Pope is truly a voice in the wilderness because the networks have not figured out how to make God or faith into a reality show so they can make money.

 

 

People of all faiths have a right to know there is one world leader walking the walk and talking the talk when it comes to laying his life on the line for his love of all people and belief in the power of prayer and faith.

 

 

There are rare times in the history of mankind when one solitary voice can make a difference.  Pope Francis may very well be one of those people whose genuine love, compassion and empathy for giving transcend ego, power and greed for taking.

 

 

Politicians and people from Wall Street to Main Street could benefit from his example and may very well find salvation in his gentler and kinder message.

 

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If Taylor Swift fell in Love, got married & lived happily ever after, would her songwriting end?

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America's most popular teenager, even at age 23, has created a phenomenal music machine in the six short years since she exploded on the scene.  A singing and songwriting prodigy if ever there was one, Taylor took about the hardest path possible in her "swift" ascent foregoing the huge Nashville record labels and opting for an independent label, Big Machine Records.

 

Though her label was just a start up it had a solid platinum 16 year old in young Taylor Swift.  She probably does not remember but I exchanged several emails with her before she had the record deal and was famous, and interestingly enough we discussed what she would have to give up to sign with a major label.

 

 

At the time she insisted she would never sign with a major label because she intended to write and perform her own songs and they would never let her at her young age.  She was far wiser than her years.

 

Today, six years later, she has sold over 26 million albums and over 75 million digital downloads worldwide and Forbes magazine says the 23 year old is now worth over $220 million.  So far in 2013 her income this year exceeds $55 million.

 

 

She has a penthouse in midtown Nashville, Tennessee, a cottage in Beverly Hills, California and an eight bedroom vacation home in coastal Watch Hill, Rhode Island.

 

She recently made several hundred thousand dollars profit selling a million dollar mansion she bought in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts next door to the most famous political royalty in America, the Kennedy family.  She bought it to be close to one of the Kennedy boys she was dating.

 

 

And that brings us to the subject of this story.  Taylor Swift sells millions of records to teens telling the tragic stories of her lost loves of life, what she acknowledges is the source of her often heartbreaking compositions.

 

Since becoming a super star her romances read like a celebrity whose who and have made extremely good material for the tearful tales she tells in song.  Just look at this partial list from Swiftipedia of the more public mates she has dated.

 

 

The song Tim McGraw was inspired by an ex-boyfriend named Brandon Borello. Their relationship ended because he had to go to college. She told USA today, "He bought the album and said he really loved it, which is sweet. His current girlfriend isn't too pleased with it, though." It was named after a musician whose songs she liked. He was going away to college so she wanted to write him something to remember her by.

 

Picture to Burn was written about an ex-boyfriend, whom she calls a redneck, and says he never let her drive his pick-up truck.

 

Teardrops on My Guitar was written about a boy she liked, whom she never actually dated. "Drew was a real person!" she tells. Drew was surprised when he heard his name in the song. "I never knew she liked me" Drew says. Taylor stated that two years after the song came out Drew showed up at her house and asked her on a date. She declined. "It was the perfect fairytale ending but a little too late."

 

 Should've Said No was about an ex-boyfriend that cheated on her. The boyfriend's name was Sam Armstrong, and, in the CD booklet, every S, A, and M was capitalized if it was in the correct order.

 

Joe Jonas broke up with her over the phone, which is something she has complained about on Ellen Degeneres' show and elsewhere. She got her record company to let her record a song about it, to add at the last minute to her album. Forever & Always is the name of that song. She also wrote 'Last Kiss' about him and 'Better than Revenge' is about his ex-girlfriend, Camila Belle.

 

 

Taylor Lautner became her boyfriend after they met on set for the film Valentine's Day. Their relationship was popularly known as Taylor Squared. They broke up in early 2010. She mentioned going to a hockey game with him during her October 29th 2009 appearance on the Ellen Show.

 

According to MTV he was more into her than she was into him, he going everywhere he could to see her, but it was not working out. They have apparently decided to just be friends.  The song, Back to December is suspected to be about Taylor Lautner. The song is an apology to him.

 

Some of the lyrics go..." Your guard is up and I know why. Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind ...you gave me roses and I left them there to die. So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye."

 

 

At the end of the song she asks for his forgiveness and hints to the fact she wants to be with him again. The couple hasn't reunited and at the recent American Music Awards Swift performed the song and at the end added "and he said it's too late to 'pologize" from popular song "Apologize" by the band One Republic. She is alluding to the parody video Taylor Lautner made for "Apologize".  Time magazine listed this is one of the top apologies of 2010.

 

Jake Gyllenhaal reported spent $160,000 to have her flown over on a private jet for a date. He later broke up with her through text. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, State of Grace, All Too Well, Girl at Home and The Moment I Knew are rumored to be about him.

 

The songs Dear John and I Knew You Were Trouble are rumored to be about her ex-boyfriend John Mayer, whom she had a fling with at one time.

 

 

The song Enchanted is about Adam Young of Owl City but she never dated him, although he did state his interest in her.

 

Former beaus Harry Styles and Connor Kennedy are yet to be immortalized in Taylor's songs.

 

So, if Taylor were to fall in love, get married and live happily ever after would that signal the end of her songwriting and recording career?  What is a country queen, or should we say princess, to do with no new material for songs?

 

How could the hundreds of millions of teenagers around the world in love with Taylor and her music handle a happy married Taylor?  Feeling good, sharing happiness and being content are very un-teen like in this day and age.

 

How in the world will the big pharmaceutical companies keep making their insane profits if kids aren't depressed like their parents?  Nearly 50% of all Americans are now on prescription drugs for depression.

 

At the same time, can Taylor make the transition and actually write happy songs that teens will buy?  It would be yet another first in the bonnet of this young woman who shattered all kinds of glass ceilings in the country music and record industries doing things her way.

 

Let us hope teens today will not hold candle light vigils pleading with Taylor to "dump the chumps" so she can keep on writing country hits.

 

 

I say Taylor has given us an incredible slice of her life to share the intimacy of her relationships through her music.  She deserves to be happy too.

 

What do you say?

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