Thursday, July 26, 2007

Haughty Helen and Little Jon's Coming Out Party

Haughty Helen gave the social event of the sweltering summer season at Coltons Point when she hosted the Little Jon Coming Out Party at her seaside villa. Little Jon, as you may or may not recall, is quite smitten with Helen whose genealogy makes her a direct descendant of the English outcasts who first introduced the local natives some 400 years ago to the white man and the Catholic Church, either of which spelled certain doom to the Native Americans.

Over 850 people showed up for the party along with about 10 jazz bands and several concession trucks. While family pressure caused Haughty to supply some food, in as much as proper etiquette required something to be set out for the insects, the concession trucks handled most of the traffic.

Rumor has it the party was Haughty's biggest since her own debutante ball back in the days of the governor's mansion and certainly it was the wildest party at the Point since the destruction of the Blackistone Hotel by the Kopels, a hotel which they acquired from Helen's descendants.

While they tried to blame the destruction on a turn of the last century hurricane, a lot of revealing records of the strange activity taking place at Kopel's seaside resort vanished in the chaos. Ironically the old hotel was just down the beach from Helen's villa. Ink Spot and her hubby, who used to be known as President Bob but has since relinquished his presidency to Sheila and is now known as Captain Bob what with the marina, his charge over the Clements Island fleet, and having his own swimming pool, claim they are prepared to begin revealing the secrets of the old hotel sometime soon.

Back at the coming out party, about 800 of the 850 guests were unknown to most of the Pointers but when you have a family with nearly 400 years of local history you are bound to know a few people. Speaking of family, the Haughty Helen family was out in force to make certain their sister did the family tree proud. They even brought back John Michael from the family compound in northern Wisconsin where he is in charge of the survival outpost. The new family patriarch and golf champion Phil brought his entourage on the family yacht which was just too big to dock at Helen's pier so people had to be shuttled back and forth to shore. Brother Phil was surrounded by well wishers and patrons and he even had a couple of priests in tow in the unlikely event the food was not as good as expected.

Of all the people present, Little Jon seemed to be hardest to find as he could only be caught at a glimpse scurrying around fussing over food, drinks, dogs and his sister all the while trying to avoid being the center of attention. A great time was had by all, especially those found still on the premises the next morning passed out on chairs, docks and boats. Haughty Helen insisted they were not invited guests. Watch for her next social adventure sometime around the year 2017 and hope you are on the invite short list again.

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