Thursday, April 19, 2007

Wacky Weather Report

Man I sure hope the weather reports on TV get bumped by more commercials so we don't have to experience the pain of holding out hope they may be right some day. I think the weather people have the same philosophy about weather as the Jehovahs Witnesses used to have about the End Times. They figured if you kept predicting the date of the end of the world eventually you would get it right.

The weather people must use a more scientific method for their forecast like darts, a crystal ball or some kind of metaphysical connection to higher powers. So the first two weeks of April are the 2nd coldest in DC history, the coldest in Baltimore history. It was so cold that the first two weeks of last January were warmer.

Where is global warming when you need it? My plants, shrubs and trees are so confused they may bloom next winter instead of summer. I heard a rumor that the National Weather Service no longer supplies forecasts and world weather to the TV and other media, they have to do it on their own. No wonder the weather world is turned upside down.

Of course the reason the National Weather Service reports are not given to the media is because there are weather anomalies taking place that indicate we are heading for a natural catastrophe of Biblical proportions. The feds have it all wrong. If you want to spread misinformation quickly then you should give it to the media, they are masters at misinformation.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jordan,

You must be pre occupied w/ some pretty important stuff because we haven't had any news from you in a long, long, long time.

What's up w/ that?